My grandmother was, and remains to this day, the most evil human being I have ever met. She was manipulative, emotionally and even physically abusive and believed wholeheartedly that she was entitled to our care. Here are the things she did to deserve being labelled as such.
When my dad was around 10, and his sister 13, my grandfather left my grandmother (GM) for her sister. This was ,no doubt, a great blow to all 3 of them. However, instead of protecting her children and caring for them to the best of her abilities, she began to systematically brainwash my dad to convince him that the most important thing in his life was to look after his mother and sister. My aunt, dad's sister (DS - I've made a post about her as well) had somehow convinced her that she needed to keep her son under her control in order to secure her future. We live in India and here it is expected of sons to care for their parents in their old age. So apart from societal expectations, my dad was also pressured by his mother's emotional blackmail.
When dad fell in love with my mom, GM did everything she could to sabotage their relationship. She would constantly try to create misunderstandings between them, going as far as to tell my mom that dad was cheating on her with several other women. But somehow their relationship survived and they got married.
When mom was pregnant with me, GM and DS would verbally and physically assault my mom. Mom never told dad, he only found out about it years later after she had passed away. No, they didn't kill her.
When my dad married my step mom and she and my step brother moved in, she was cruel to them as well. She once told my dad to get my step brother out of the house because “that boy is going to rape your daughter when he grows up“. My step brother must've been around 9 at the time.
The way she taunted and gaslighted me led to me developing self-esteem and trust issues. When I was in the second grade, my best friend was a boy. Everyday, we walked to school to school together holding hands. She saw this and called she a whore who would bring shame upon our family by going around with boys. She said this in front of some of our neighbors. A couple of them were just as misogynistic as her and snickered as I teared up. I was so embarrassed and mortified that I stopped talking to the boy. It broke my 7 year old heart.
GM was addicted to sweets and fried foods. At around 60, she became diabetic, but refused to follow any kind of diet. In a few years, she became almost completely bedridden. Her pancreas had stopped making insulin. She needed regular insulin injections and needed assistance in going to the bathroom. I was 14 at the time my family was struggling financially, both my parents worked full time and we could only afford a part time nurse. So everyday after I came home from school, the nurse would leave and I would take her place. I would help her eat, help her go to the bathroom and give her the injections. The whole time I was either studying or attending to her. As a result, I had no social life and had trouble keeping friends. Was she ever grateful? Hell no! Nothing I (or my parents) ever did was good enough for her. Every night when my dad came home from work she would always have a few complaints about me. My dad hardly ever listened to my side of the story and would just tell me that I needed to respect my grandmother. That bitch would smirk as dad reprimanded me.
Given the amount of suppressed rage I carried within me, it's truly amazing that I did not commit some kind of a violent crime. When I was 17, DS had come over for a visit. The conversation was somehow diverted to the topic of marriage and kids. I told them offhandedly that I didn't want kids. DS looked horrified and told me I was insane. GM took it several notches higher and told me that she would make sure that my dad would marry me off to a guy who would rape me to get me pregnant and would beat me every night. I haven't felt anger like that ever before or since. I was chopping vegetables for dinner and I remember clutching the knife even tighter and feeling an overwhelming urge to slit GM's throat and watching her bleed to death. If I kill her right now, I thought, my family would be rid of this monster. Fortunately, I did no such thing as I knew that she was not worth going to prison. I was walked away to calm myself down.
In 2008, on this day, 2nd of September, she finally died. The horror story finally came to an end. Today, at 34, I have a successful career, my own penthouse apartment and a loving boyfriend who is also CF. My dad's also doing well. Every time I accomplish something I feel like I'm slapping GM and telling her to fuck off. This post, on her 10 year death anniversary, is yet another “fuck you“ to her.
The point of this rant is not to garner sympathy but simply to emphasize that parents too can be vile, cruel and
abusive to their own children. Simply popping out a few offspring does not make you a better person.
Thank you very much for reading.
Edit: I had posted this on the 2nd of September on r/childfree.
