r/UsernameChecksOut • u/[deleted] • May 06 '20

A double whammy

Post image
7.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

358 comments sorted by

217

u/spongebobs_dildo May 06 '20

I’m not complaining

108

u/LunarEdge7th May 06 '20

What the fu-

40

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

I've seen you before.

18

u/UsernameStarvation May 07 '20

What would i do?

11

u/NoSmartNameHere May 07 '20

You could eat and absorb usernames you like so their free to use

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4

u/[deleted] May 09 '20

Huh, how would mine work?

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144

u/i_give_mice_cancer May 06 '20

✅

48

u/SomethingVeryHuman May 06 '20

So a scientist?

12

u/i_give_mice_cancer May 07 '20

Can't hide from a human

27

u/CowCluckLated May 06 '20

I've seen you before

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '20

You are like a cat but more likely to kill mice

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143

u/GivesPlatinum May 06 '20

Man, fuck that.

65

u/LunarEdge7th May 06 '20

Hey, if your pay is higher than a Plat, worth.

4

u/Dagreifers May 07 '20

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) theres a spot for an award here >

3

u/nollanl May 06 '20

im wondering if your name checks out

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65

u/I_am_Adolf-Hitler May 06 '20

Everything stays the same

31

u/Sorsa775 May 06 '20

And I tought 2020 couldn't get worse

13

u/Inspector1General May 06 '20

Hallo Mein Furer

6

u/R3TR0259 May 06 '20

DER FUHRER LEBT

122

u/TheOnlyGodIsMe May 06 '20

I probably won that

41

u/LunarEdge7th May 06 '20

I hope you like the world as it is now then. I'm not really looking forward to a mass reset until like, 2050 or something. Do me a favour, don't end us too early.

3

u/PurgatoryGFX Jun 03 '20

We’re doomed. It’s gotten so much worse..

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27

u/Liquor_N_Whorez May 06 '20

I'm ok with breaking even.

10

u/zoey38362 May 06 '20

I have one question for you, WHY?

11

u/TheOnlyGodIsMe May 06 '20

Bit of spiciness. Oh shit, did I mention there's wasps that can kill you now?

5

u/IAmAHuman247 May 06 '20

They’ve been seen near where I live

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52

u/Ninja-nun May 06 '20

This is a great job

22

u/LunarEdge7th May 06 '20

I'd watch a movie of this, honestly.

But I've watched too much hentai and can't think of a clean plot for the life of me.

6

u/The_Priest_ May 06 '20

You seriously Nailed it.

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3

u/TheOnlyCanadianEver May 06 '20

theres a batman movie with that!

5

u/TheOnlyCanadianEver May 06 '20

NUN-JAS

-Green Arrow and Robin in unison in a batman movie

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47

u/LunarEdge7th May 06 '20

I've no idea what my job is.

37

u/ounilith May 06 '20

Apparently a Final Fantasy sword

17

u/LunarEdge7th May 06 '20

I like the sound of that, though I wish I'd be wielded by Squall instead..

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43

u/Ben-Be-chillin May 06 '20

I fucking wish

43

u/I_CUM_ON_YOUR_PET May 06 '20

And then it’s my turn

15

u/LemonWaluigi May 06 '20

Jesus christ

5

u/Homemadeduck102 May 06 '20

Stay away from me and my sex toys pervert

34

u/FUCKINGTHRASH666 May 06 '20

do i fuck thrash metal or play it

16

u/LunarEdge7th May 06 '20

Both at the same time

32

u/Sir_Nicholas_4 May 06 '20

Guess I am like a knight now?

5

u/akrause03 May 06 '20 edited May 06 '20

Yes you also have to get used to being called Lord as most knights were lords as well

29

u/That-Lemon-Guy May 06 '20

I don’t know what mine is.

20

u/Toriathan May 06 '20

Make a combustible lemon

8

u/R3TR0259 May 06 '20

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I’M THE MAN WHOS GONNA BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE, WITH THE LEMONS

4

u/LunarEdge7th May 06 '20

Be the next HowToBasic, but with lemons.

3

u/LemonWaluigi May 06 '20

We are professional lemons.

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26

u/DeppressedSwedishGuy May 06 '20

Im already hard at work, but without gerring paid

23

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

Guess I'm trying to take over the tri-state area while a platypus in a hat thwarts my plans everytime.

2

u/Dagreifers May 07 '20

But also a Chad version since you mega.

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21

u/Stick-Bread May 06 '20

my job description needs to be more clear what do i do?

7

u/SomethingVeryHuman May 06 '20

You make bread.

With sticks.

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16

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

im going to skraa everyone

6

u/The_Priest_ May 06 '20

Boom

5

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

skya. dudu kuku dudum

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16

u/Yoshi705 May 06 '20

do I take care of 705 Yoshis

Or am I all of them at once

13

u/baron_Zeppeli May 06 '20

you command an army of 705 yoshi's

8

u/Yoshi705 May 06 '20

That’s op

I can eat my enemies and use them as ammo

And if a Yoshi is hit they just run until I get on them

This is my world

Bow down to the Yoshi empire

15

u/NotatallDepressed May 06 '20

I get paid to be happy!

3

u/Wh1ms1cal May 07 '20

Good for you man!

14

u/P0TAT0O0 May 06 '20

Welp. Am I eating potatoes or killing the Irish by showing up late?

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13

u/Maiquel_Jequison May 06 '20

Guess I'll be a (bad) singer

RUSBÉ

10

u/LunarEdge7th May 06 '20

I chuckled quite a bit, I like you already.

5

u/Maiquel_Jequison May 06 '20

Thank you, random redditor

25

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

What the fuck do I do

17

u/CleanseMyEyes May 06 '20

You go caw

4

u/LunarEdge7th May 06 '20

Go where rich people die.

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12

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

Time to scare people I guees

9

u/LunarEdge7th May 06 '20

Take your pick:

Freddy

Chucky

Jason

Mike Myers

Nocturne

Fiddlesticks?

7

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

I think I’ll stick with Jason since this entire year has been bad luck

10

u/deb-scott May 06 '20

I get paid to deb the Scots.

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10

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

idk what my job is

11

u/Inspector1General May 06 '20

You’re job is something involving the pixel movie

6

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

probably

4

u/LunarEdge7th May 06 '20

Hope you like getting squished on!

4

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

uh oh

10

u/duck842 May 06 '20

I am now a duck.. I’m not complaining.

10

u/Inspector1General May 06 '20

And you have 842 lives

5

u/OPRacoon May 06 '20

You command an army of 842 ducks

6

u/duck842 May 06 '20

That’s true.. Or I could feed homeless people with my army of 842 ducks. Gotta roast them first.

8

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

I like mine, what can I say.

7

u/Ninjahunter13 May 06 '20

......ehhhhhh

4

u/The_Priest_ May 06 '20

Yours is still better

6

u/Sorsa775 May 06 '20

Well Sorsa means duck so I guess I'm a duck then

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6

u/MeepMeepMcMeep May 06 '20

Do I mock beaker from the muppets?

6

u/colaa-chan May 06 '20

I wish ask Reddit had a flair for username posts

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5

u/bladetrinity27 May 06 '20

I’m not complaining😎

4

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

Darn I don’t even know what my job would be

4

u/OPRacoon May 06 '20

So, am I a boss or...

4

u/-Bioluminescence- May 06 '20

No idea what I’d be...A human lamp?

4

u/PissedOffLittlePrick May 06 '20

I scream at people

4

u/GodYeti May 06 '20

Bow down MORTALS

4

u/Mindgameninja May 06 '20

Yey I get a cool job

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '20

I laughed 10 minutes straight

2

u/[deleted] May 07 '20

good

3

u/lalaabanana May 06 '20

Actually I’d be the winner of the deal.

3

u/Inspector1General May 06 '20

I’m an inspector general 0.0

3

u/King_Of_Axolotls May 06 '20

i can live with this

3

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

I'm confused about what I would get

3

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

Lovely

3

u/LemonWaluigi May 06 '20

I play tennis and fuck bitches

3

u/point5_ May 06 '20

Uuuhhhhhh

3

u/JJ24iscool May 06 '20

I don't know what my job is

3

u/The_Priest_ May 06 '20

Such cute children... God i love my job

3

u/R3TR0259 May 06 '20

The fuck am I? Some kind of fucken arcade repair man or some shit?

3

u/sad_moron May 06 '20

Honestly that sounds like an amazing job

3

u/SomethingVeryHuman May 06 '20

Well I guess I’ll have a normal job then.

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2

u/iamamazin2098 My username checks out May 06 '20

Uhmmmm I am amazin(g) and that is it I don’t have to do anything I simply exist and be amazin nothing more nothing less I get paid to exist as an amazin creature(I hate humans but they fall under that category) I simply get paid to live

Edit:until 2098 then I get a raise

2

u/Forthefight May 06 '20

Huh.... starting fights, this will be fun

2

u/TheGuy769 May 06 '20

Im not gay i swear

2

u/iiskorched May 06 '20

I guess I'm on fire

2

u/doesbackflip May 06 '20

I feel like I’m the only person in this comment section with a normal username

2

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

Uhh? I control goats now ig

2

u/thinking_is_too_hard May 06 '20

Oh sweet, I'm a politician

2

u/Drunkpilot1228 May 07 '20

This is nice

2

u/crocs_lives_matter Jun 02 '20

Peacefully protest for worldwide Crocs acceptance

•

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1

u/_OhNo_PistolMeat May 06 '20

I don’t know how this is gonna work

1

u/Cephalon_Cy May 06 '20

It sure what mine would be tbh if I was in there, yell at people to seal fires?

1

u/eljefe1628 May 06 '20

I’m the boss

1

u/jansfirstshot May 06 '20

So... I'm a hitman?

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

If u watch the movie central intelligence then u know I can now be in the cia lol 😂

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

So I do what I normally do but I get paid?

1

u/sad_moron May 06 '20

This already my job so win-win for me I guess

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

Hey, Homer, what's your least favorite country, Italy or France?

1

u/vobsvids32 May 06 '20

I guess I keep doin what I’m doing on YouTube I guess

1

u/Jackerslooxe542 May 06 '20

Oh sweet I OWN ALL OF YOU

1

u/vbgvbg113 May 06 '20

Uh...

Am... Am i unemployed?

1

u/latecomer2018 May 06 '20

Guess I'm fucked either way.

1

u/floofdoogo May 06 '20

no clue what it would be

1

u/Ghostsliesometimes May 06 '20

What tf does my username mean for my job

1

u/Mrs-Beaver May 06 '20

What the fuck will my job be? Owning an Army of Beavers or being an Office Worker called MrsBeaver.

1

u/TheOnlyCanadianEver May 06 '20

being a murderer... killing all the posers

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

Damn I’m literally some trash that can’t

1

u/SomebodyWhoExists1 May 06 '20

Aha I get paid to exist?

1

u/ImmaTakeYoMans May 06 '20

Does this make me a prostitute

1

u/CumDumpster671 May 06 '20

i dont think i should answer that question to be honest but like mmmmmmm

1

u/ThatBoiAintBoi May 06 '20

I guess I’m a gender changer

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

Not much apparently

1

u/VeryCoolEpicMan May 06 '20

I'm very cool

1

u/MrSatan00 May 06 '20

I come from a long line of Satan's. I am ok with this.

1

u/MilesTheRedditor May 06 '20

I get paid to do what I love? Sweet.

1

u/BorgPorg88 May 06 '20

Assimilation using the cutest, saddest eyes.

1

u/poisonedoreos May 06 '20

I kill people....awesome

1

u/WarningOutOfMind May 06 '20

Soooo... what am I?

1

u/SnookiWookieeCookie May 06 '20

What the hell would my job be

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

Oh cool, I don’t have to change anything! Hahaha ha... god I want to kill myself so fucking bad. Just end my suffering please

1

u/FruitShakeMan May 06 '20

I suppose the most average job goes to me...

1

u/Homemadeduck102 May 06 '20

Idk, am I the duck or the duck maker. Second one isn’t bad.

1

u/k0Rv0_4774n0 May 06 '20

I. apparently, failed to do my job. TWICE.

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

I guess I’m dying

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '20

I'm pretty sure I have the best job

1

u/UUglyGod May 06 '20

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

1

u/Hellebore_Official May 06 '20

So I give an "Official" mark to flowers? Sick.

1

u/LokiArtz May 06 '20

I am the god of Mischief creating art. I don't mind.

1

u/DavidTheBanana8 May 06 '20

Shit amma die real soon

1

u/illcumonu666 May 06 '20

I can work with this

1

u/PopeOfPuns May 06 '20

This is fine

1

u/sinceare May 06 '20

Honestly, I don't even know.

1

u/Kamikaze_AZ22 May 07 '20

Better be a pretty big pay out for a one-time gig

1

u/choclateflavoredpiss May 07 '20

I am now a piss flavorer

1

u/Wh1ms1cal May 07 '20

Idk what i am

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