Hi there. Hope everyone is doing well. You can call me Sadie. I am 31 years old and hoping to transition from male to female. I am looking for somewhere to live (preferably alone), with my 3 cats, in the Chicago area that would cost me under $1000 a month. I primarily do gig work as a delivery driver for income. I don't have great credit (upper 500s), but I may be able to get a cosigner if absolutely necessary. However, I'd like to avoid that.

A little about my story and why I desperately need to move - I've been in the closet for 20+ years because I'm terrified of how my mother will react. Last year she thought I was coming out to her as trans while I was just reminding her I'm bi and the rejection was... intense. This woman can be quoted as saying she "wishes we'd all just go back in the closet so she could have things the way they were when she was a child".

Unfortunately, my life sorta went to pieces during the pandemic and although I almost started hrt back in 2022, I was ultimately forced to move back in with her. I had planned on that only being for a year, but I had a brush with the reaper at the beginning of 2023 resulting in a diagnosis of Congestive Heart Failure and almost 4 years since trapped in her basement.

I actually almost started hrt again earlier this year, but recognized that it would be very bad to just start without a plan because I've run out of patience and then have my mother find out. Because she would almost surely try to have me institutionalized. Plus, my hometown in cornfield USA probably wouldn't provide high quality gender affirming care anyway.

Some elaboration about my mother's aforementioned rejection to illustrate just how difficult she is; I've never formally come out to anyone in my family other than my sister, but my Mom likes watching Bill Maher, who frequently makes douchey garbage transphobe takes on his show. We were arguing about one such take when she inquired about how it pertains to me. I tried to remind her that I'm bi and his remarks pertain to the entire lgbtqia+ community. However, she doesn't like to think about that, so she doesn't even really remember what it means to be bi without being reminded. Instead, she jumped to a conclusion and started yelling at me about how I can't be a woman and she knows for a fact that I'm a man because she gave birth to me. 🙃

I know It's difficult to find a place that will allow me to keep multiple cats, but they are my world. My sister put me on a housing assistance list about a year ago and I am currently visiting her in the city which was to check on an opportunity, but it didn't work out and there's no telling how long I could be waiting, so I thought I'd try to reach out to the community. If anyone can help me with gaining my freedom, I'd deeply appreciate it.

I’m male by birth, and I’ve been experiencing strong gender dysphoria since around 19. Over time, those feelings have become much more persistent. I increasingly imagine myself living and being seen as a woman, and I have a very strong desire to explore my feminine side. I’m not transitioned and still look quite masculine, but people I’ve spoken to online have told me that my experiences sound similar to those of a potential trans woman.

I’m also attracted to men and often imagine myself being with a man while experiencing myself as a woman. I’ve never had sex, so this is another part of myself that I’m still trying to understand.

The difficult thing is that I feel very alone in all of this(no family or friends support as are against all of this). I don’t really have anyone in my personal life who understands or supports this side of me. Because of that, when I recently met someone online who seemed to understand my femininity, I became emotionally invested and thought I might have finally found someone who could help me explore this part of myself.

At first, it felt comforting. I was happy to have someone who seemed willing to talk to me about femininity, feminine clothes, and becoming more comfortable expressing that side of myself.

But eventually, the conversations became much more focused on sex, dominance, submission and BDSM. That made me uncomfortable because I started wondering whether he was actually interested in helping me explore who I am, or whether my femininity was mainly something he found sexually exciting.

I want to be clear that I’m not against sex. I do want intimacy, and if I were with someone I genuinely loved and trusted, I would absolutely want that part of a relationship. But I don’t want to be treated like a sex toy, a sex object, or simply a tool for someone else’s lust and desires.

I don’t want someone to see my vulnerability and think, “Here is someone I can turn into exactly what I want for my own sexual satisfaction.” I want to feel that someone actually desires me as a person, wants to know me, cares about me and genuinely wants to be close to me not that they simply want access to my body or want to use me to fulfil a fantasy and then move on.

If someone genuinely wants to help me explore my femininity, I would actually be very happy about that. I’d love to try feminine clothes, become more comfortable expressing myself, learn from someone who understands femininity, and have someone encouraging me through that process. I’m open to learning and exploring with someone I trust.

But I want that to happen because they genuinely care about me, not because they are slowly trying to turn me into a sexual object while presenting it as “helping” me become feminine.

I don’t know exactly where this journey will take me. I just know that I want emotional connection, trust, affection and genuine care. The sexual side can absolutely be part of that, but I want it to develop naturally between two people who actually want each other and care about each other, not simply because one person wants to have sex, use the other person as a tool, and then leave.

Has anyone else experienced something like this while exploring their gender or femininity? How did you tell the difference between someone genuinely supporting you and someone who was mainly interested in the sexual side?

I’m from India, and I’ve found it especially difficult to explore this part of myself openly. If anyone genuinely wants to talk, support me, share their experiences, or even become friends or close friends while I explore my feminine side, I’d be very happy to connect. ❤️

Any insight you can provide would be greatly appreciated!

I think my older sister discovered i am trans, and will most likely tell my transphobic parents. Is there anything i can do to avoid my parents knowing?

tl;dr: some personal advice I picked up on transness after being a trans man for half a decade, now, including...

- trans femmes, body hair is okay, and acceptance is largely based on location and population...not you yourself and immutable traits.

- all trans ppl, it's okay not to have surgery right away, or ever.

- it's okay not to have an updated ID, whether that be for safety reasons or for practical reasons like you couldn't get to it somehow (recently someone said to me "your name was TAKEN FROM YOU," and that hit very hard).

- some parents or guardians or role models are progressive outwardly but not when it comes to their own children! make sure you explore yo and it's okay if your experience wasn't "my parents didn't accept me" or "my parents lovingly accept me," but somewhere in-between and changes a lot even.

------

Hi guys. I I'm a trans man, with very dark, course, kinky, curly hair. and a LOT of it. Even before I transitioned starting at age 22. and I'm 26 now, and due to being disabled and living in a very rural state AND lacking physical family support I still haven't gotten to have any surgeries yet, despite having very large breasts, especially for my size (roughly 5'9, 170-180). and I'm so rural I'm over 3 hours from anywhere I could possibly get paperwork done, and I don't wanna mess up my SSI paperwork, medicaid, or SNAP, either. so I haven't been able to change my name. and it's cost me while being spoken to by the cops (to no fault of my own), and also while visiting my own small-town bank (being rejected while attempting to take out my monthly rent, because they didn't "trust" that I was the same person as the one on my ID, since it's a pre-transition photo, because the photo place is also 3+ hours away, and I don't want a mixed-gender obviously-trans form of ID).

I'm posting this for A FEW reasons.

One... IT'S OKAY TO HAVE SURGERY ON YOUR OWN TIME, OR NOT AT ALL.

Two... IT'S OKAY TO HAVE AN ID THAT DOES NOT MATCH YOUR CHOSEN NAME, CURRENT TRANSITION PROGRESS, AND/OR GENDER MARKER (especially since gender marker is largely impossible if you live in the US like I do, now-- and many other countries are the same)!

Three... FOR TRANS WOMEN AND GIRLS AND FEMMES-- I LOVE YOU, WE ALL LOVE YOU, GO GET 'EM! AND IT'S TOTALLY ALRIGHT TO HAVE HAIR ALL OVER YOUR BODY! FOR SOME OF US, LIKE ME WITH HS, WE PHYSICALLY CANNOT SHAVE OR WAX OR ANYTHING WITHOUT IT HURTING, AND LIGHT THERAPY IS TOO EXPENSIVE!

when I was still identifying our body (we are plural, technically none of us align with our body exactly) as female, our hair was so bothersome it made us doubt our femininity, despite our body having such a perfectly feminine face, figure, and bosom, with small hands and feet to match. though we were a very, very late bloomer for our chest! and you might be, too. eating helped a LOT. once we got out of a neglectful household and began to eat, they grew like melons haha! now I wish they had not, but at the time I thought it would magically make me a woman... heh. who knew I was technically supposed to be born feeling I aligned as one???

SOME OF US GROW UP IN HOUSEHOLDS THAT, EVEN IF OUR SO-CALLED "ROLE MODELS" SHOW PITY FOR OTHER TRANS ADULTS OR CHILDREN, WE OURSELVES ARE NEVER, EVER EVEN SUPPOSED TO ENTERTAIN THE THOUGHT. WE ARE MEANT TO BE "NORMAL." WE MUST SCOFF AT THE ABNORMAL, AND MOVE ALONG. "FIRE IS HOT, DO NOT TOUCH!"

I THOUGHT I WAS SMART NOT TO TOUCH THE FIRE, BUT I NEVER GOT TO UNDERSTAND HOW I TRULY FELT, UNTIL AFTER I LEFT THE HOUSE. I WAS ALREADY ALONE, SAVE FOR MY PRECIOUS CAT. MANY OF US LOVE ANIMALS, BECAUSE THEY DO NOT JUDGE (not like that, anyways).

I had hair on my legs from top to bottom, my feet, toes, fingers, hands, a happy trail, my chest, my back, my butt, a big huge plume around my pubic area, full of course curls like a black beard, and of course on my arms, neck, head, sideburns, and shoulders as well. and between the brows! all very, very dark. even when it was shaved, it still was very apparent there had been something there, as you could see the shadow and the little round holes.

but boys who were not racist still found me very attractive. they sought after me. when I lived in a more accepting state they were all over me. when I moved more rural to somewhere nearly all-white, no one basically even wanted to be my friend.

IF YOU LIVE SOMEWHERE VERY RURAL, OR VERY WHITE, OR VERY RELIGIOUS, OR ALL OF THE ABOVE... YOU MIGHT NOTICE NOBODY WANTS TO GO OUT WITH YOU, NO MATTER HOW HOT YOU ARE!

IT'S.

NOT.

YOUR.

FAULT!!!!

Got it?

Good.

(ps: sorry if it sucks or breaks a rule but a lotta people seem to hate my posts so take it or leave it but I'd rather post and help one person than not post and risk not helping anyone!)

Your post about your feelings. Believe it or not, it's not as uncommon as you think it is, and it applies to all ages of people who have considered themselves trans.

For the record, I'm a trans woman who has been out and active politically for almost 40 years. I had a friend for a few decades, a trans woman, who was very successful in their transition. Long curly red hair, slender figure, they were even a cheerleader for an NFL football team for about 6 or 7 years. This went on for about 28 years, until they came to me one day and asked me what I would say if they told me that they didn't feel like they were a trans woman anymore and wanted to detransition. I couldn't think of a reason why that would bother me unless they came to despise trans people. Unfortunately, sometime down the road they found religion and then they did start to despise trans people. And that's where our friendship ended. But it was only because of their ideological beliefs.

At the same time, I want you to know that I have friends of longstanding, women friends, who are not little tiny slips of a thing. They are what some would call sturdy but that doesn't mean they're not feminine. But sometimes people mistake them for an older person transitioning because they don't look traditionally female and they don't go out of their way to do that.

In my own case, I've never gone to Great lengths to be particularly feminine and I kind of consider myself a bohemian hippie - even later in my life. But I carry myself well and I very rarely get misgendered and I'm very happy about that. But I'm also very happy that I transitioned and I've never questioned it.

So be assured that you're not the only one who's ever felt this way and it doesn't mean you were wrong; it's actually admirable that you faced your reality and have the strength to make decisions on what's best for you and what's right for you instead of whatever anyone else might think. That's part of being your authentic self - being honest and true to yourself.

Whatever you end up deciding to do good luck to you and I wish you a happy life and much balance

Please offer your own experiences and ask any questions in order to help others. I, for whatever reason don’t see posts of people talking about where and how they got GAC only passing comments of people not being able to.

I was on state insurance at the time through John’s Hopkins which is in my state. I’m very lucky to be with them and University of Maryland; I didn’t realize how far people travel for these hospitals. After spending over 6 months just waiting for a call from PP, not to get hormones but just to see if they’d even talk to me, I moved on to different options. I landed on a clinic an hour from me and called them after weeks of worked up courage. I didn’t expect it in the slightest but the call lasted 15 minutes and I was agog when she gave me dates and they weren’t 6+ months away with risk of cancellation; it was 2 WEEKS AWAY!!!! I hung up and jumped around like crazy, squealing and giggling, running to tell my little sister when I picked her up from the bus stop. I had an hour consultation appointment where she understood my goals and desires and asked me questions before explaining how all this works and asking me to sign. She then sent in the prescription and we made our next appointment. It shipped to my pharmacy over the weekend and I picked it up. I will remember those moments forever.

Same will go for top surgery. I’ll locate the best surgeon in my area, get the needed information, have my consultation and book the surgery which is covered by insurance as I have proof I’m trans.

Am I confused and this is a common experience that I’m misunderstanding or was this helpful?

I honestly feel like a look more like a girl with short hair

Hey, I (20 mtf) have come out not a long time ago and have been trying my best to pass as my experienced gender, but I also really like working out and fighting and have been doing it for my whole life, to the point where I'm just kinda big. Does anyone have any tips to deal with that?

Hey all. Ever since I've basically been exploring my gender identity, questioning, and experimenting with gender expression and deduced that I'm pretty sure that I'm Trans gender, I've been active in various subreddits.

I've come across people in various Trans-related subreddits that were very nice. However, upon further talking with them.. Kind of seem extremely clingy, almost to the point of un-hinged.

I mean, it's cool and all to connect with other Trans, Enby and Gender-diverse peeps, but I'm married, have my life to live, and don't particularly want to conversate with somebody on Reddit at every single hour of the day.

I've had to block people in the past because they came off as extremely clingy and basically would not stop messaging me. Also, some of the people I've talked to I feel have had deep emotional issues, which may have added to the "cling" factor. But still...

Am I horrible for feeling this way?

I am stuck in a situation where I will be reliant on transphobic family for a long time.

I could get on HRT, but I'm worried they'll notice physical changes and I'll be in danger.

What should I do?

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c5y47yrrld0o

Sou casado a 14 anos e tenho 58 anos de idade, minha mulher não aceita que eu faça a th por causa da família , amigos , religião e por ela mesmo que é hétero e não se vê casada com outra mulher. Me sinto em um beco sem saída😞

I need to come out as trans fem for my own mental wellbeing because I have GAD(Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and my brain is very nervous