His instagram posts are so cringey, they remind me of the fake celebs from the Zillionaires sketch

I was only 9 years old, living with my step-pepper

I loved Grum so much, I had the Pilgrums 1 and 2 and all the novelty albums.

I pray to Grum every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given

"Grum is love" I say; "Grum is life"

My step-pep hears me and calls me a dingus

I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Grum

I said he was just another hunk

He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep

I'm crying now, and my butt hurts

I lay in bed and it's really spooky

Suddenly, a shape is moving towards me

It's Grum

I am so happy

He whispers into my ear "I like crackers and snacks."

He grabs me with his powerful CGI hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees

I'm ready

I spread my ass-cheeks for Grum

He penetrates my pup-hole

It hurts so much but I do it for Grum

I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water

I push against his force

I want to please Grum

He lets out a nasal scream as he fills my butt with his love

My step-pepper walks in

Grum looks him straight in the eyes and says "Maize... ah!"

Grum leaves through my window

Grum is love. Grum is life.

BF and I are having a prompt contest, and these are our final submissions. Who won - top or bottom? Which Rascal would make Tim and Eric proud?

I posted this a few days ago on the On Cinema subreddit, but figured some folks on here might get a kick out of it as well.

This whole video emerged when I wanted to send a clip of Tim completely destroying "Bohemian Rhapsody" because of our shared love of people singing badly with conviction and passion, but then I realised that the clip would just raise too many questions about what the hell is going on. It eventually built into a 17-minute primer trying to summarise a 10+-year-old soap opera, centred around that specific clip.

The result: So far she hasn't left me

Ep 22 S 1

Damn they did it again. Thanks Tim and Eric!!!

Is it just me or is this aziz and Eric stuff coming out really shitty. Aziz ansari just isn't funny in my opinion and I never even thought he would hook up with Eric to make stuff. He's just a different comedian. I hope it stops real soon.

Dear Eric come look at my Bazans

Are Tim, Eric, David Hart, James Quall, and friends okay?

What the Cinco did you just Cinco-ing say about me, you little Chippy? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Dr. Steve Brule Academy, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the Quall of Duty, and I have over 300 confirmed Shrim kills. I am trained in Spagett warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire Beef House armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another Morning Meditation. I will wipe you the Cinco out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that traaaash to me over the innernette? Think again, ya turkey. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Deckers across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, ya dingus. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're my dead pep-pep, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my rare swords. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Gravy Robbers trained military veterans and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable T'ird off the face of the continent, you little D-pants. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your Cinco-ing tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you darn dingus. I will Plibt fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're Great Job, kiddo.