3 dates is easy - I hardly feel it when people drop me and when I drop people without even a message. I get to enjoy my single life and go on dates for that social connection. I craved sex with a man this morning, rubbed one out and now that craving is gone, replaced by a hankering for breakfast :D. Which tells me it's an inconvenient internalized urge, not a need that fulfills me as a person. I don't want to have sex with people I don't have enough of an emotional connection to (and aren't willing to share test results or have an informed conversation), and it's very difficult to get there in 3 dates. It's been beyond the skillset I have and the people I have access to. Neither of us get unnecessarily attached and can just have a good time.

The idea of a relationship based on what I've experienced feels like a trap for me. Dates end with a "Thanks!" and then we go our own ways back to freedom.

Everyone's too busy enjoying their single lives, a fun date is just the cherry on top once so often.

He’s been her one and only partner since.

As a divorced woman, with zero piercings, tattoos, and being a quiet hermit, i no longer have to worry about being ‘interesting.’

im not.

im lame and im good without adding extra pressure.

But having a safe haven of solitude makes me maybe next time most likely never want to exchange the only richness I have:

peace of mind🦦

p.s.(sometimes ill get funny looks & people will stop & ask what my shirt says & get a confused look…now only you, fellow Singletons, know the secret behind why i wear it🤫)

Past years of dating was crazy and I was usually poly and read all the books and podcasts and stuff and fucked up a lot at first, but learned and grew. But then there was usually something different when "poly women" dated me where they became increasingly more insecure and lashing out despite efforts to communicate and ask what I can do to reassure them, even cut others off or entire groups of friends for the toxic ones. I've been having causal things on and off this last year after an intense situationship that started when I was vulnerable after a toxic breakup at the end of 2024, and then one brief one in the beginning of the year with a woman that pushed for more from me, including me meeting her kids, but then when I had expectations about hard conversations for that level of intimacy, she bailed because it was not longer just kinky fun time but actually dealing with a person's feelings.

But I've been doing a lot more for myself and my health that I neglected these past few years and honestly, my physical health and mental health were broken after being drained for so long and I finally feel whole again. I have a dog I love and debt from my ex but no longer financial manipulation, and found a sport i like and can do which I've wanted to for years! Also been writing more poetry and going to art events and making community, it's nice. I'll still talk to some women on occasion but don't expect much and haven't had one really get my interest in a while that I actually want to meet, except maybe one girl i met on reddit and talk to on discord in another state. I didn't realize how much I chased external stimuli and validation to fill my void and it's so nice when you learn to appreciate your own company and life.

I'm 31 and have dated a wide age range since I was 23 but it's kinda nice how I'm still talking with women in their 40s to early 20s and can pick and choose what to pursue, or nothing at all because most of the time I prefer a night in with my dog than going out. Been much healthier the last half a year, and have noticed that good company for me is a good conversation and feeling free, personality, mental and emotional depth, and all the other things I'd like in a companion. But until I find that again, I've been happy doing my own thing and having a casual thing on occasion so life has been nice. My cortisol has not been this low in years lol

I am most of the time happy and content with being single but once in a while for few days in my mind comes this feelings of sadness, anger and projection towards women .

Is any way to get rid of it because things like taking care of myself better , like buying new things , meeting friends out , traveling or having a good day for myself in the house don’t work ! ( I am envious on women because I observed this things always work for them 😅- like having their hair done 🙃)?

Im a man and im happy single and childfree, but i dont hate women, i respect them. Just like i respect men.

Lately i seen this sub posting videos about men doing dumb shit and then see women hating and generalising all men from a singular dumb mans action.

There are alot of scummy men on this planet iknow but also scummy women.

Anyways just needed to vent that you should be grateful being single and happy but if you keep hating the opposing gender youre only gonna pull that hate and frustration towards your own life. Just try to be in peace.

Let’s see

Today my sister knowing that I am single and just moved in a new place ,in a new city, she sent me a link on a event for New Year Day organised for single people for 5 days from 31-4 !

First I think she doesn’t know me so well , my sister ( that’s bad , but I need to point that out to her 🤣)!

And second , why would someone pay for something like that when almost for sure sex is not in the cards ?!

Just for food and drinks?

I am a 32F and I have always got along much better with men. The problem is, they never want to be just friends and it always makes things awkward. I just want friends, nothing physical and no relationships but female friendships don’t work for me because I am very low maintenance and I don’t do drama.

Is it possible for men and women to be just friends?

I'm not saying relationships are bad, and this is not meant to disrespect anyone who already has a girlfriend. But honestly, this winter might be one of the worst possible times to start looking for a relationship.

Winter Arc is here, and it's a good opportunity to focus on self-improvement, whether that means going to the gym, building discipline, studying, improving your habits, or working towards your personal goals.

Then there's GTA 6, which people have been waiting over a decade for. There are games to play, money to save, hobbies to enjoy, and plenty of things to accomplish.

Being single also gives you more time to understand yourself, become independent, and figure out what you actually want from life instead of rushing into a relationship just because everyone else seems to be in one.

Of course, a good relationship can make your life better, and having someone who supports your ambitions is a great thing. This isn't about saying that being in a relationship is a mistake.

However, between Winter Arc, self-improvement, upcoming games, and everything else happening, this might genuinely be the worst time in human history to start looking for a girlfriend.

Maybe this winter should be about building yourself into someone you're proud of, rather than worrying about finding someone else.

After all, there is no deadline for getting a girlfriend, but there are plenty of goals you can start working towards today.

Pstt This is only half-serious dont take this seriously😅

I WANT to know the answer. How do you stay happy being single when there are couples literally everywhere you go? What are your tips and tricks to not letting it affect you?

Occasionally, I like to treat myself to a nice dinner out at a fancy restaurant. But whenever I go, I see couples EVERYWHERE and I'm the only single person there dining out alone.

The same thing happens whenever I go to Nordic spas, or whenever I travel and stay in nice resorts and hotels. There are couples everywhere.

I still want to go out and enjoy life instead of staying home, but when it seems like you're the only single person out there, it's very discouraging.

This weekend made me reflect on what I actually want. I invited a girl over, thinking I’d enjoy the intimacy, but once she arrived, I realized I wasn’t as attracted to her as I thought. We had sex on Friday, but by Saturday, I just wanted to be alone. I even pretended to be sick to avoid more intimacy.

What really struck me was how much I kept thinking about the time left before she’d leave. I was literally counting the hours until I could take her back to the airport. She’s a nice, polite, and mature person, but having her in my space for 48 hours felt overwhelming. I just wanted my alone time, my freedom.

I used to think I needed to figure out relationships, but now I’m wondering if I should just embrace the fact that I’m happiest on my own. Has anyone else gone through this? How did you come to peace with what you really want?

TL;DR: Invited a girl over for the weekend but quickly lost attraction. Felt trapped, counted the hours until she left, and realized I might just be happier alone. Anyone else experienced this?

Let me know!

She is just 18 months old but that question will come one day and I don't know what should I do. I don't know when normally comes these kind of questions also.

Just a fast back story: Basically her father and I was flirting (not even in a relationship) and I got pregnant accidentally and I decided to keep the baby (I'm 33). And he openly told me that he doesn't want to be a father and if I decide to keep the baby, he doesn't want to be involved. I said it's okay. And no regrets. She is my everything and we're so happy. I also don't feel any bad feelings towards her father because he was really so open to me about this and I never expected anything so we're in no contact now. Basically, everything is okay actually and we're doing good.

The thing is, I don't want to hurt my daughter's feelings. I don't want her to feel like she is not lovable because her father is not here or she's weird or half or I don't want her to feel any kind of resentment towards men.

How can I say or talk to her when she asks that question, age appropriately? If I say "we decided to live separate and he is far away" (?????) what if she starts to ask details etc. Or should I say something completely different? Please, I'm open to every suggestions.

Oh and another question please: Almost every kind of children story books has a father figure and I'm reading them anyway. Should I stop it and find another books? I mean, this is also life... But maybe for now I should read only mommy and kid kind of books?

I am not married. Nor do I pretend to be. My healthiest long-term relationship is friends with benefits, and frankly, it’s going great. This matters. Because my sister Lizzie is married. To Mark. We love Mark. Which means my long-standing role has been to smile, nod, and ignore his asshole tendencies. This system worked until Lizzie made the catastrophic mistake of asking me what I thought about the War of the Cats. Now, context matters. Everyone says that, and unfortunately, they’re right. Lizzie and Mark got married in 2016. Before kids, before chaos, before anyone needed a nebulizer, they had three cats. Cats Lizzie liked. Cats Lizzie chose. Cats that were, at the time, part of a very deliberate let’s not rush into children plan. Then she got pregnant anyway. Tragic. They had a beautiful baby girl in 2017. Lizzie loved her baby. She did not love being pregnant, scooping litter boxes, and adjusting to motherhood all at once. The cats stopped being charming and started being extra. This is sad for the cats. I acknowledge this. Eventually, the cat issue settled. Everyone survived. Then they had a beautiful baby boy. He is allergic to cats. In normal-people land, this is where you rehome the cats. This is not controversial. This is cause and effect. But Mark loves the cats. Possibly more than his children. Hard to say. By this point, Lizzie has two kids under five and no energy left to negotiate domestic policy. The baby boy is constantly sick. A strange coincidence, given that he is allergic to cats and lives with cats. But it’s not the cats. It’s asthma. This goes on for three years. Three years of debating whether the thing he is allergic to might be contributing to the fact that he cannot breathe. Then a doctor intervenes. After a hospital visit involving paramedics, sirens, and sad indie music playing in the background. Finally, the doctor says: Get the cats out of the damn house. Most sane adults would rehome the cats. Mark builds a cat patio. A catio, if you will. Eight by eight. For three cats. With a heater. After a lifetime in a three-bedroom house with central air. The cats could, theoretically, roam outside. Except they live in the middle of nowhere. There are coyotes. And yes, they used to have another cat before the trio. We do not talk about it. A year passes. It is winter. One cat dies. Another gets a UTI. The third is just… there. Then, miracle of miracles, a foster home offers to take the remaining cats. Problem solved. Except Mark says no. He says he is grieving the third cat and cannot lose the other two. His child cannot breathe. This is not a riddle. But don’t worry. There is now magic shampoo. And supplements. And special sprays. Science has advanced to the point where responsibility is optional. At this point, rehoming the cats while Mark is at work feels less like betrayal and more like basic triage. But what do I know. My point is: am I the asshole for pointing this out? Because this feels less about the cats and more about Mark being selfish. P.S. Before anyone asks why Auntie D can’t take the cats: I have a dog. I’m allergic to cats. Gotta love genetics.

I recently learned about the single mother by choice route to parenthood and it's turning all my assumptions about life paths on their head. I always assumed that since I was a hard HARD no on romantic partners and sex that no partner/no sex -> obviously no children except by adoption. It is extremely hard for existing couples and families to adopt and a single woman basically impossible I understand. So to my mind, having children was simply not in the cards.

But now I'm actually rethinking on that door I thought was closed. Nowadays you can buy sperm from a donor bank, you can do IUI IVF you can freeze eggs and make embryos all without the presence of a romantic partner. You don't even have to have sex (though there are still invasive medical procedures, but to me that's infinitely more palatable).

I'm feeling turned upside down. I never, literally never, even considered the possibility of having children outside adoption and once I learned how difficult it is that door seemed closed too. I can't say that I always wanted children, I like children and always have, but in the same way I could want to walk on the moon it was always a clearly hypothetical not real scenario. I guess I'm saying I just never even considered it a possibility.

I had a lot of internal deconstruction to do to get to this point. My parents are immigrants and while they're not super traditional, the nuclear family was the only family structure that existed to them. The idea of being an unmarried woman was anathema, and while they support me in a bemused kind of way it's still a hugely radical lifestyle for them. I've been ambitious my entire life and have been career focused possibly to an extreme to prove that I can exist without a husband. It's always felt like a threat at the back of my mind-fail and you'll have to get married. That is such a NOPE to me that I got the first PhD in my family. I'm the first woman in my entire line that is free of the obligations of marriage and being subservient to a husband.

I genuinely love my work and am career focused but I wonder if now, in this modern world, we are finally at a point where maybe you don't have to choose between work and family?

But I have so much fear. I am a person who has never had a romantic relationship (because I never wanted one, ever). I've not had crushes. I've NEVER had any desire for a sexual relationship with anyone. I can see no future path where I look for a partner. Is it fair to then take on raising what might end up a very allo child? Will my blindspots make them extra vulnerable, will I not be able to properly parent a teen, will they resent me for a lack of nuclear family?

There are so many non traditional families out there which were/are unimaginable options to my parents. So weirdly, I'm not scared at all of choosing a path and what their opinion might be. But my thoughts above remain. I'm not even sure if I actually for real want a child and all the challenges that can bring financially, etc.

Thoughts? I'll take any from any perspective. Please be candid.

In light of the recent victory of a new president elect it got me thinking if you plan to stay single and childfree the politics don't matter much,For me personally I can't think of any issues that really affect me one way or the other.

I don't have kids in school,I don't have to be concerned with reproductive rights,Im never getting any one pregnant,being single my money goes further, inflation, the economy hasn't been a big problem I'm not trying to support a family.

Sure if gas went to $15 a gallon that would hurt it means a few less steak dinners a week but I can easily put in 80+ hours a week of work or work overtime etc to make up for it since I don't have kids or a relationship taking my time.

Neither candidate really talked about anything that really affects me I,suppose Universal health care,but I fortunately have insurance but still don't go to the Dr,if I get sick ill probably just sit on my couch and die I don't like hospitals needles or medications and since I don't have a family to support it's an easy decision.

Immigration well this is probably the thing that affects ne the most because it can bring crime and my tax dollars are being funneled into supporting them. But on another note they work hard and I've had these guys do alot of work for me when no one else would. For example I needed a job done and the union contractors kept telling me they only do large commercial properties on guy said he would do my small job but he charged an abhorrent amount intentionally so I wouldn't want him to do it.

Eventually I was directed to an immigrant that did the job well for a good price,worked all through the night,I've had several issues like this where Americans won't even bother with a job unless they can make a small fortune.

Student loans I dont have any,

Maybe I'm missing something but being single with just myself to be concerned with is very liberating I don't have to worry about what these schools are teaching my kids or if my wife can get an abortion if she has some sort of complications. Even crime isn't a huge concern I live in a good neighborhood most people can't afford to move to,and I stay out of bad areas.

Not trying to sound selfish but I think being single and childfree is the way to go in these times.

Hi everyone, In my late twenties, I was single for five years, and I absolutely loved it. I loved the peace and quiet, the lack of arguments, and being able to live my life without constantly having to adjust to someone else. After five years, though, I started feeling a little lonely. I met a man who I eventually married. Looking back, I can see how toxic that marriage was and how much it damaged me emotionally. I became depressed, and my panic attacks and anxiety got worse. He repeatedly humiliated me as a woman, cheated on me, and lied to me. He wasn’t there for me when I got pregnant either, and I went through a miscarriage alone. Not long after that, I reconnected with a man I’d known for years. We’d had feelings for each other at different times, but things had never quite worked out between us. I thought being with him might help me get through my divorce, but somewhere along the way, I fell in love with him. Unfortunately, that relationship also took a huge emotional toll on me. He was very unreliable, and I spent a lot of time crying because of him. Now I’m single for the first time in eight years, and I have no idea how to be happy on my own again. Honestly, I don’t even know how to be single anymore. I’d really appreciate some advice. Please tell me what you love about being single, why life without a man can be better, and how you learned to enjoy being on your own. I used to love it so much, and I want to find my way back to that feeling. P.S. English isn’t my first language, so ChatGPT helped me write this in English. I hope it makes sense, and please excuse any awkward wording.

I am a remote worker, 41/m, and setting up for a lot of international travel. Where are some of your favorite solo destinations? I am fluent in English and about 70% for Latin American Spanish. Sex positive destinations would be a bonus.

So, I am 39, divorced, and I always thought I would have a beautiful, loving family by this age.

My life turned out a little harder than I expected. I am beautiful, tall, independent, have lived in several countries, and am very resourceful. I have had many disappointments in my dating life and came to the conclusion that men simply do not add value to my life. Generally, they have just added anxiety, control, and emotional and physical labor that I don't need. I am not saying that there are no good or useful men out there, but I am done looking. I have officially given up on finding a good one.

I have always wanted to have kids, and given the time restraints, I have decided to undergo an IUI procedure with my best friend. I am going to have a baby with my best friend. He is not perfect, but our relationship is healthier than any romantic relationship I have ever had. I know it is not a traditional way, but I have thought about it extensively and believe it is the healthiest way for me to have a family. I could have used a anonymous sperm donor, but I really want my baby to have a dad and a grand family whom I love!

Would you take this route? Do you think it is crazy?

Edit: He has failed in his romantic relationships. He is a very kind person. His family is one that I love and they are the ones who initiated the idea. I wouldn’t have wanted a better grand family for the baby. Also, we live close, his parents are also around the corner. He will share raising the baby with me. Almost 50/50. I have my own place but I also have a room in his house since I almost live with him ( As a friend). He has been through all of it with me. He met everyone I have dated. I barely ever argue with him. He is the only person I feel safe being myself with. There has never been and will never be any sort of romantic connection with him. It will never ever happen, and I will not object to him having someone some day if that’s what he wants.

Also, I am an immigrant. I do not have a family here. Meaning, If I took the donor route and something happens to me, the child has no one. I would rather have them have a family.

I’m not even sure why I’m writing this. Maybe because tonight I did it again sat in the back row of a half-empty theater, popcorn on the seat next to me like it was standing in for someone. For two hours, with the lights off, I can pretend I’m just a normal person doing a normal thing. Then the credits roll, the lights come up, and it all rushes back in. Couples holding hands, friends laughing, people leaving together. I pull my hoodie up, keep my head down, and remind myself I’ve done this before. I’ll do it again.I do the same with food. I go to restaurants alone, sometimes order more than I should just to make the moment last. The waiter asks if someone’s joining me and I say no, trying not to let it show. I scroll my phone so I don’t look lonely. But I am. Deeply. I know single and happy doesn’t mean pretending everything feels good all the time. For me, doing these things alone is both coping and hurting at the same time. I want to enjoy movies, good food, little moments but I also wish, so badly, that I had someone to share them with. Someone to laugh with during the dumb scenes. Someone to sit next to me without it feeling strange or forced. Someone who chooses me. I keep telling myself that doing things alone is better than doing nothing at all. And maybe that’s true. At least this way I still experience life instead of watching it pass completely by. Still, some nights the loneliness feels physical like a weight on my chest that doesn’t lift.

I’m not looking for advice or fixing. I just wanted to say this somewhere it might be understood. If anyone else here goes on solo movie nights or eats out alone and feels this mix of independence and quiet sadness I’d really like to hear from you. Even a simple me too would mean more than you probably think.

Edit- I am so sorry cuz my native language is not English that’s why i got some little help through ai for the grammatical mistakes.

Is this sub mainly for women to complain about men?

I befriended a (21F) neighbor last year and went on walks with her, but I eventually had to cut her off because she wanted to date me.

Now an (18M) co-worker wants to date me as well. He texts me every day even though I told him that I only see him as a friend and don’t want to date a co-worker.

What am I doing wrong? Do I need to socialize in groups instead of one on one or something?

Has anyone else here had this kind of frustrating experience? I just want to make friends, but when I do make a friend they want to date me, whether they’re male or female.

I tend to only make one or two close friends at a time. I guess these two people have seen that as a signal that I’m available when I’m not.

It’s incredibly isolating because I’m not looking for a relationship.

Is it just an early 20s thing? Are most people looking to date instead of making friends? What should I do to prevent this from happening again?

And the real kicker is, they didn't even know that I'm bi! I don't know how they picked up on it.