I am a 25yr old woman and I am a long time lurker, first time poster. I have 2 dogs, one is an Alaskan dog with gold beautiful skin.He has approximately 23 teeth andhad to wear braces. He has been neutered and the full process can be linkedhere. He almost died by eating dark chocolate one time and who wouldn't? Lol! He lost a foot in a car accident and maybe has 3 feet, IDK I can't count that high.

My other dog is an ugly pug that should go die in hell.

So basically I am like very paranoid and I was taking my dog for a walk. The ugly one, when all of a sudden he starts barking. I read on totallyacuratedoginformationforonly£999perhourperminuteperpaymoreifyoudontwanttodie.com that when a dog starts barking bad stuff is near you. I just want to point out that I am a very big believer of the supernatural and if I even see anything spooky I shoot it.

So I followed my dog and I saw that he was barking to a black cat with green eyes and on totallyacuratesignsyouaregoingtodieforonly£999persecondwewillrapeyou.com it says that a black cat will kill you and rape your dog so I would regularly shoot it with my AK47 but the only way to kill a black cat is for a dog to kill it.

So I decided to become a dog.

Me and my dog chased the cat up a tree and waited for it to starve to death. So I waited and waited and waited until morning came and I saw that the cat was gone. I was barking up the wrong tree.

So crazy cat that wants to rape my dog lets not meet again.

Btw I killed my dog, nothing should ever be unlucky enough to rape that ugly thing. I killed the other one aswell because otherwise it would be unfair.

So i am like a 35yr old woman but this happened about 40 years ago and it haunts me to this day! So I was walking down the street drinking a tea and the creaziest thing happendid! The man looked at me and said, "Hello, my name is police officer and I wish to arrest you get in my car."

"AAAAAAH RAPE!" I whispered loudly and called 969. I haVE watched too many Sherlocks and I know what will happen! The receptor picks up and I told him what happened. She said that she would tell the nearest police men. The plocimen that was anout to repe me took out his rape caller device and moaned breathly.

He searched his car and what I found wiill always haunt me. He found duct tape. ALLLL DUCT TAPE! AND RP[E. AND MROE DUCTAPPPPPPPPPPPPE!1!!1!!!LOL!! luckily I was smart adn used his gun to shoot him. So remembr samll child. always bec areful and dont figtht me. i will end yoyu:))))))))))) oh and he was sexist.

A few years ago I went on a run when I was a scrawny teen during the middle of the day, when I was carefree and foolish. I should have checked my surroundings.

On the last leg of my run I ran up a hill to enter the back of the cul de sac that was behind my street. As I slowed down to a walk and I looked up from my MP3 player after changing the music to some Red Jumpsuit Apparatus I noticed a white car start up and drive away. I though of that is wired, because I didn't see anyone go to the car. But after that I thought nothing more of it. As I was halfway done walking the cul de sac a white car came back from the same way the other white car went!

I got so scared that after I finished walking to the opening of the cul de sac I ran from there all the way back to my house! I ran so fast that I lost the guy. Because the car didn't come down my street. Now I never run during the middle of the day. Guy in the white car let's not meet!

Do the stories in this parody subreddit have to be true?

I'm an Asian female, 48 years old and recently moved from Koreatown in LA to Cullman, Alabama.

The first scary thing that happened when I walked into Wal-Mart to buy some things for my new apartment. An old white man at the door said "Welcome to Wal-Mart," and he smiled at me. I could tell by his smile that he was a dirty old man wanting to have sex with me just because I'm an Asian woman.

I was hungry and didn't have time to cook and the only restaurant I could find nearby was McDonald's. There was a 17 year old black boy at the register and he was also giving me a smile that reaked of Yellow Fever. What confirmed my suspicions was what he asked after I was finished ordering. He smiled yet again and asked, "For here or to go?" I know he was trying to be a pimp daddy and was meaning "Your place or mine." This black teenager with Yellow Fever was obviously wanting to lose his virginity to me just because I'm an Asian woman.

After being stalked by these two creepers, I decided to go to a car lot to buy a car and just go back to LA, away from this racist town. The white car salesman smiled too, so it was obvious he was yet another racist creep with Yellow Fever. He kept stalking me from car to car and telling me about each one, trying to show off his knowledge thinking I'd be impressed and he could finally have sex with an Asian woman, his goal in life. What really scared me was when I found a car I liked, he said we could get inside and take a "test drive" together. He said we could take the car a mile or two down the road and come back. I've never had someone be so forward with me in wanting to have sex with me just because I'm an Asian woman.

All of you creeps with Yellow Fever who want to have sex with me just because I'm an Asian woman, and you know who you are, Let's Not Meet.

So one day I decided to do it. Take public transportation. Several of my white male friends asked me if I was scared to go on the t, a public trolley in my city. To be honest I had no idea what I was getting into.

The day started like any other. Sun shining. I had no idea what was in store.

Little background I have a car but didn't want to pay for parking to go into the city. My car is a small silver Honda civic. It's kinda old so there's some sun damage on the hood.

I parked at a free lot and began the walk to the T. I was looking at the ground so hard I almost stumbled. It caused me to look up just as a large black man began to approach.

It was too late. We made eye contact. He opened his mouth. "hey". I couldn't believe it. I'm a complete stranger. I panicked. "hey" I said back, sure that this would lead to instant rape. Instead he just kept walking. Almost as if he wasn't a scary murderous rapist. I mean we were near a bus terminal for Christ sake.

I continued the walk to the T with shaky knees. Never again I told myself. Until the next week when I did it again. Saw the same man. Turns out he's just super friendly he said hi to everyone around.

This isn't scary, I just don't want to meet him 'cause he's a douche.

Im a foreigner in the US currently attending to college. On a friday night we were out with friends and in line to enter a bar/club.

Some of my friends are girls so guys would come and try to be friends with us. One guy in particular came up, talking all weird about us being muslims and how he really likes muslims and shit. Now i dont know why but when someone says they like muslims it feels worse than when they say they hate us for some reason. Maybe because it feels like a lie? Idk.

So he was talking to my friend who is a guy, they shook hands, i was talking to a girl and then he came up to me. Telling me his name and such and held out his hand for a handshake. I shook his hand and the bastard wiped a huge booger on my hand.

For the first couple seconds i didnt know how to react. Then i looked around to see maybe it was a stupid truth or dare shit or something. Didnt see anybody watching, then i looked around for cops because i really wanted to cave this guy's face in. And surely enough there were cops on every corner.

I yelled "Youre fucking disgusting you nasty piece of shit" and wiped that booger on his face and pushed him out of the line. Asked for a wet wipe from one of the girls because they carry all kinds of stuff in their purses.

Thought this was a real good case of shittyletsnotmeet. Peace

I am an attractive female aged 19 with a curvaceous body and a decent looking face. If I was a stalker, I would probably stalk me. Now to some important details. my family lives in a gated community in a 4200 square-foot house. If you enter the house through the front door there is the dining room on the left and a study to your right. The hallway directly in front of you leads to the living room. Adjacent to the living room is the kitchen and laundry room. The master bedroom is downstairs and there are three bedrooms upstairs as well as a game room.

Anyways, one day we decided to make the tough decision to go to Walmart. I don’t like going to Walmart because of how dangerous it is, but you do what you have to do. Anyways, we walk inside Walmart and I’m walking down the makeup aisle. As I’m looking around at the Revlon products some strange looking man walked up to me and said "nice day outside, isn’t it?". Immediately my toes start to curl because of how odd the situation is. "Nice day?" I know that this is just an attempt to give me to let my guard down. A few minutes later, I am at the kitchen accessory aisle looking to buy a new set of pepper shakers. Some not very cute college aged guy walked up to me and was like "isn’t it crazy how many different kinds of salt and pepper shakers there are??". Are you kidding me? Now there are two potential stalkers in the store. I've read that book "the gift of fear" so I’m well aware that every stranger is a potential murderer that can’t be trusted. With frantic steps I stumbled out the door and fled across the parking lot to my Subaru outback and drove home, running two stop signs in the process. It was worth it to get away from the potential stalker threat.

This all happened this morning and I’m sitting here typing this and trying not to hyperventilate. The problem is, I just realized that I never bought any of the stuff I meant to get at Walmart, so I know I’ll have to go back there this evening. I’ll update everyone to let you guys know how it goes so you won’t worry about me ( i.e. If I get enough karma on this post I may have a part two. Please remember to like and subscribe, check back soon)

    "We were both young when I first saw you," sang the bearded loon. "Tay-tay, what'd'ya say, just you and I run off, and ditch this whole thing?" inquired the buffoon.

    "By golly, you sure are as dim-witted as you appear," Taylor Swift had just about had enough of Duck Dynasty guy's risky contemplation. "Don't you know that we signed our lives away? These Arabs may look physically monkey-ish, but they have the wits to know that we Americans are so quick to betrayal, therefore I ask of you to swap the beard for a brain, and ask yourself whether they're keeping an especially close eye on us." The new recruit made her point clear. Duck Dynasty guy stood biting his lip.

    "Y'know, Tay-tay, you've got a really nice frame of mind about this whole thing. What'd'ya say we go round the back, and you blow me?"

    Taylor Swift had no objection, and proceeded to perform fellatio on the bearded man forty years her senior.

    Taylor: "Alright, now we've got an appointment to keep. Remember mission briefing, we are to maintain that we have come to this land to broaden children's horizons, and provide anecdotal evidence in how American customs can sweep their nation for the better."

    Duck Dynasty guy: "Yeah, yeah. I remember rolling my eyes at the whole thing. I thought we'd be shootin' shit. How are we expected to convert these sand people to the ways of a them good ol' folks back home? It ain't right if ya ask me. Sure as shit, a duck would adapt to lava quicker than persuading these people to wear jeans!"

    Taylor: "I see what you're saying, but don't worry yourself with the stupidity of the concept, for it's merely a front. The school principal of where we are arranged to give our lecture is the infamous Gaddafi Al Bana.

    Duck Dynasty guy: "Oh, yeah. The banana guy. The mastermind behind the Romanian refrigerator incident. I'll admit, I couldn't understand a word of the briefing. They gotta learn to talk real slow if they wanna get through to me. Hey, Tay-tay, how bout another go round the back, eh?

    The two went to the school right on schedule. There they'd play it cool, and go through with their hidden agenda, under the guise of merely giving a lecture. As Duck Dynasty guy slipped away to the men's room, he passed through the cafeteria, and dropped a toxic capsule into a teapot prescribed for the principal. It was only a matter of time before they could leave the school successful of their first mission. One thing stood in their way, however, a student named Greg Gorbos.

    The Duck Dynasty guy returned to the class distraught over the confounded look on Taylor Swift's mug.

    "The hell's the matter?" He blurted.

    Taylor Swift handed him a hand-drawn picture of them having brutal sex, him bum fucking her. He furrowed his brow, and demanded to meet its creator. Then, amidst a crowd of bronze faces, gleamed a pale one; he stepped forward.

    Greg Gorbos: "It... It was me sir. I drew you fucking Taylor Swift in the bum. It's... It's a real shame you don't like it, sir. I... I worked really hard on it. You could see outstretched strands of semen and everything, sir."

    His mouth agape, the Duck Dynasty guy stood speechless. Taylor Swift shared his disgust. A feeling of paranoia then struck the two, for the question had arisen: Had this Greg Gorbos boy been the witness to them fooling around? Although just a delusion, the sheer possibility of Greg Gorbos seeing them previously fool around, brought about the question of what else he may have witnessed. Could he have seen the undercover operatives briefing the mission at hand? They looked at each other nervously, having not the slightest idea of what this child knew. Suddenly, the class teacher intervened.

    Teacher: "Greg Gorbos... See me after class."

    The End

(The ending of this story marks the beginning of part one, this story was a prequel.)

So I'm a 28 yr old female, this story takes place when I was 28 - 7.

This first happened on 23/04/2010, I was sick with the flu so I said to my mom I'm really sick so she said stay home so I did.

During the day mom had to go to my grandma's house to take her grocery shopping because she's old and needs help to carry her groceries.

My brother is a 6 month old baby so he was with mom and my dad was at work so he wasn't home.

Basically what I'm trying to say is I was home alone .

If that wasn't scary enough I'm sitting down at the kitchen table eating my fruit loops watching cartoons, when all of a sudden a big white van pulls up to my drive way.

Just to set the mood of how creepy this van was.. you know the raper/child abductor kind? Big USPS letters on the side? YEAH that kind!

So anyway I ignore it even though it's sitting there for a while and then all of a sudden a man emurges and opens the side door and starts looking for something.

I start to freak out so I get under the table with my fruit loops and keep watching cartoons from there.

He STARTS TO WALK UPTO MY DOOR WITH A BOX!!

He knocks, I peak through my door which has a glass panel on either side really carefully so he doesn't see me.

Then all of a sudden he sees me and gives me the creepiest smile like he was staring right at my body and I'm pretty sure when I wasn't looking he was licking his lips but I didn't see. Anyway I ran back under the table.

He starts yelling in the most raper scary voice "Hello USPS, I've got a package for you." and starts knocking this time like he's annoyed or something so I start to think wow he must really be a psycho.

Well I didn't have a phone and I didn't know when mom would be back so I ate my fruit loops and then all of a sudden he knocks again and I spill my fruit loops!

Great..now I have to go change my clothes all the while crazy raper man is trying to knock my door down.

Anyway he ended up leaving pretty quickly after that and I thought it was over..

Well when mom got home there was a post card he creepily wrote on for her saying to go pick up a package...

This still happens from time to time to this day, I've contacted the police and they just laugh at me and I even tried to tell my parents but they just look at me like they're confused..so I guess it's just something I have to deal with on my own.

So Mr scary raper man no I do not want your package!

I should start off by mentioning i identify as a female, i was born a fax machine. Anyway I'm 25, love sheep and I'm a strong independent woman. Anyway as I was saying my mate Sandra and me were walking down the street when I was 17 but Sandra was 18 because her birthday was before mine. Anyway there we were walking down the street dressed fabulous may I add. I was wearing a cute tracksuit (matching of course) and sandra was wearing a tracksuit also (matching of course.) Anyway walking down the street now this guy called Stephan (yea i know who did his parents think they were? swedish or something.) Anyway stephan comes over and of course he's wearing some awful clothing, offending my eyes. Anyway he smiled at me and said i was cute. I panicked, felt so threatened. Sandra and me absolutely pegged it home and wore our Nike air max trainers out. That pig will never know the horror i have to live with ever day, replaying it back in my mind.

Stephan lets not met, again.

One day, at lunch break, I drove to a fast-food joint for some drive-thru burgers. The line was long, so I started playing with my phone. I decided to watch lesbian internet porn while I waited, and clicked a 14 minute video titled "Lesbian Sandwich," thinking it was going to be a pile of hot lesbians in, as the title would suggest, a lesbian sandwich.

It started off simply enough, two chicks scissoring while a third sits on the lower girl's face. Not bad.

Then I saw the dildo.

It creeped me out, as dildos always do, so I shut it off. "Can I take your order?" The fast food attendant asked. Back to reality. "Yeah, I'll have two burgers and some fries, and a shake." "That'll be $9.78.

I proceeded down to the take-out window, still thinking about that dildo. I couldn't stop seeing that giant log of black, bouncy rubber, penetrating that lesbian's mouth, asshole and vagina. It creeped me out, and I shuddered to think why they don't just use a real cock if they like the fake ones so much.

I rolled up to the window, paid for my food and parked so I could dig in.

I took out a burger and just before I took a bite, I saw it sticking out from the lettuce, covered in mayonnaise.

There was a dildo on my burger. The same black dildo from the video.

That night, black dildos fell from the sky in a black dildo hailstorm. 327 people were killed.

When I was in college, I loved soup. Not just because it's affordable and easy to prepare if you're using the canned kind, but because it's so versatile. You can have almost anything in soup, to the extent that you can have it for almost every meal - and that's exactly what I did. Because I was a broke college student I usually had cheap canned soup, but every now and then, I would treat myself to some top-of-the-line high-end restaurant soup. There was one restaurant in particular that I favoured; their soup was incredible, and their waiters were always friendly and smiling. There was, however, one waiter who had only served me once or twice, but who made me feel a little... on edge. He always smiled and was enthusiastic like the others, but something seemed off about him; Like he was smiling for the wrong reason, almost. Regardless, that restaurant was always my go-to for my monthly treat days, and it wasn't like that waiter had ever even done anything to me. That is, until my last visit just a couple of years ago.

I had had a long month dealing with studies and exams, and by the time it came to be the last day of that month, I didn't care entirely what soup I got as long as it was from here - the soup of the day would do fine for today. It just so happened that this ended up being the very reason I would never come to that restaurant again. The soup of the day for the 30th of May had been leek and potato, served with a cup of coffee to drink with it. I ordered at the counter, paid the usual price, and sat down to wait at my table. I recall noticing that the restaurant was far less busy than usual, but had just attributed it to the time of year - a lot of people just want to stay home and relax after exam season, after all. Since there were lots of tables empty that day, I had just grabbed the closest one to the counter, a couple feet away. This meant that when the waiter came out to serve me, I could immediately see who it was - the kempt man with black hair, sharp eyes, and an inexplicably insincere smile. He leant down to place my soup and coffee on my table, then stopped. He pointed at the saucer he had set down next to my soup bowl, and in a confident yet controlled tone, he asked me, "Hey... do you want to know what the plate under your coffee is actually for?"

I paused. Wasn't it supposed to be where you rest the teaspoon, or to act like a coaster by catching drips? That seemed obvious enough... was there a joke I didn't understand here? After a moment of deliberation, I asked, "... What is it?"

He grinned a sharp grin, his eyes creasing into crescent shapes, and plucked the saucer from beneath the coffee cup. After taking a few steps back, his glare directed toward my table, he slowly curved his arm around his body in preparation for his next move: he flicked his wrist forward and flung the plate like a frisbee, headed directly for me. I panicked and froze, my eyes wide and locked onto the object hurtling towards me. As I watched, I witnessed the plate's path curve downwards - and so did I witness it slice through the surface tension on my freshly made soup. I gasped and shielded myself with my arm, just barely dodging permanent damage to my face. Most of the soup splashed just my clothes, but some landed directly on my arm. It seared my skin and I hissed in pain.

"Whoops, sorry. Meant to hit you, haha!" He chuckled lightheartedly, but I wasn't hearing it. I was already out of my chair, scrambling on the once immaculate floor now splattered with soup, desperate to just get out of here. I burst through the doors and into the outside world, clutching my injured arm.

That was the last time I ever stepped foot in that place, and I never plan on revisiting. So, waiter who told me the true use for teacup saucers: let's never meet again.

First off, a little context: I’m 12 but legally I’m 27 because there was another guy with my name but then he died so I took his place and people think that I’m that guy. They even just gave me his birth certificate when I was born. I live in a cottage inside a castle inside a town in a desert off the coast of a continent that I can’t mention for safety reasons. But my cottage is also a space shuttle that I sometimes ride to the ISS to bother scientists when I’m bored. I live with my 15 sisters and my mom and my cat. My mom stays home and freaks out all day; the cat is the breadwinner of the family and has a cushy office job. (He’s the CEO of CVS, believe it or not.)

First off, here’s a layout of my house: as soon as you walk in the front door there’s a massive ball pit like the ones at Chuck E Cheese’s, which takes up almost the entire floor, except for the bathroom which has a floor for the toilet and sink but no toilet or sink are installed. If you walk to the left you see my room; if you walk to the right there’s a wormhole that takes you to Canada for some reason. Drops you off in downtown Toronto. Kinda the least-spooky place you could end up. If you walk to the back of the house there’s a kitchen and a giant pigeon in a trenchcoat that shows you his junk when you get too close.

Now that that’s out of the way, onto the story.

So I wasn’t home at all, I was in another country altogether, but my cat was there on a business trip. I went with him because as a cat, he gets lots of treats from his business partners, some of which can be enjoyed by humans as well, like prostate massagers.

So I’m walking down the street with my cat, and all of a sudden my cat starts looking at me weird. He asks me how old I am. What I do for a living. His eyes creep me out so much, they’re wide as they can go, and he’s flashing this extremely disturbing grin that makes me want to vomit out of my ass.

But the next part is the part I will never forget.

My cat is right next to me and he reaches out and puts his paw on my shoulder. I tell him not to touch me. He says he’s my father and he can do whatever the fuck he wants. We were on the street! And he’s screaming about touching me and bagels and whatnot and people are looking. I’m mortified. Then this absolutely massive, totally jacked woman who’s probably 7 feet tall comes up to us and asks if I’m having a problem. I told her my cat father is being a piece of kitty shit. She takes out a water bottle and pours water on his head and he farts and hisses and dashes off into the aether.

That massive Brienne of Tarth wannabe ended up saving my life, but I can’t help but wonder...what would’ve happened to me if the cat that was my father happened to finish his rant about bagels...?

This completely real encounter with my neighbor happened a few hours ago and I believe it is too spooky not to post. I apologize in advance if my writing isn't too great.(This is my first post)

So last Monday I was washing my dishes when suddenly, my dawn dish soap runs out. I was devastated but I kept my resolve to wash my dishes. After ten minutes of crying I got up and began searching for a new bottle. Hours of searching and no luck. So I do the only logical thing I could have done in my situation... I smashed my neighbors window and broke into his house. I made my way to the kitchen. Success! He had a bottle on his counter. I grabbed it and made my way back to the window. The only problem is my neighbor was standing by it, with a baseball bat I might add. "Hey neighbor!" I said, trying to be friendly. He just stared at me...what a creep! "Hey neighbor." I repeated. "Get the fuck out of my house." He retorted. I was bothered by his impoliteness but I don't let it show. "I'm not leaving until you learn some manners." My neighbor lost it. He came at me with his bat. Luckily though, I had my trusty katana with me. I stabbed him through the heart and he dropped to the floor, dead. I quickly went out to the river by the park and dumped him in. He was soon after eaten by freshwater sharks. The evidence was gone.

I am writing this to you guys as I finish washing my dishes. I'm scared to think about what could have happened if I didn't have my trusty katana, but it was all worth it for my new dish soap.

So my friend and I were out at the bar up the street. We like going here as we can walk home on the back path way when we get too drunk and avoid any sort of run-ins with the fuzz.

Anyway we are two smallish (I'm pretty tall but not muscular) girls and we are walking back to my house. She was staying with me for the night because it was my birthday. We ran into some friends at the bar. My friend Nick was there and he wanted us to hang out with him after but we lost track of him and just decided to walk home.

We get to my front door after the long walk through the woods both kind of relieved it was uneventful. all of a sudden some dude fucking jumps out of the bushes in front of my house. It scared the living shit out of both of us and we screamed super loud. It was Nick. He thought it would be hilarious. It actually was funny after we calmed down.

I was at the bar last night just sitting on a stool, knocking back a few cold ones, minding my own business, when I happened to look up and saw this chick staring straight at me. At first I was thinking maybe she knew me and I was trying to place her face, but I just couldn't ever remember seeing her before.

I became kind of flattered at first by her staring as she drank her beer, since whenever I looked up at her, she was always staring at me. So, with some liquid courage already in me, I smiled at her and tipped my bottle in her direction, but, much to my surprise, she gave no outward change in her expression; her icy gaze just continued to piece my soul.

By this point, it had been going on for about half an hour, and I began to get a little nervous. What was she up to? What was her angle here? I was at a loss. Perhaps she thought I wronged a friend of hers in the past or maybe she was a crazed psycho who was waiting for me to leave in a drunken stupor and she would follow me out, drug me, and steal my organs?

My mind was racing with the horrible possibilities this stranger might inflict upon me, when all of a sudden, she got up from her table, put on her coat, and walked out the front door of the bar behind her. I was overcome with a sense of instant relief.

The bartender was walking over to collect the payment she left on the table, when I stopped him to tell him about the woman. "She just kept staring at me all night and wouldn't even acknowledge me at all. I was freaked! What do you think her deal was?"

The bartender responded that the woman was a regular by the name of (let's call her) Sandy. Also, it turns out Sandy is blind, which really confused me. If Sandy was blind, then why did she have to stare at me all night? It really creeped me out.

So, blind bar customer who couldn't stop staring at me, let's not meet!

I was living alone with my 3 year old boy (I'm female) in a scary part of town and I am and was extremely paranoid. I lock everything up tight at night and when we went to bed this evening (both of us in my bed in my bedroom), I had locked up as usual. I woke up suddenly in the middle of the night to see my door ajar and...the silhouette of a man in a hoodie peering into my room.

He was standing perfectly still. I immediately froze in panic and laid still, trying to control my breathing. He just stayed there, still as a statue, watching me...and my son, to my horror, began flopping around on the bed next to me, breathing heavily and sighing so loudly, I just wanted him to be quiet so badly, I was in sheer terror. This was my worst nightmare come to life. As the man stayed there not moving, thoughts raced through my mind, such as, why was he not moving, if he wanted to rob me, he would have backed away from the door when my son began stirring. But he just stayed there, what did he want? He was going to come in and attack me, for sure.

I was terrified beyond description and my breathing started betraying me, no matter how determined I was to control it, I began hyperventilating as my heart raced in my chest, and I willed myself to stop, and I used every muscle in my body to make it come as quietly as humanly possible. Finally it passed. I laid there watching this man watch me for about 4 minutes. Eventually my eyes pried away from where his silhouetted face would be and I looked at where his feet would be and I saw...the bottom of my robe. Hanging on my white door...that was...shut.

The door's "ajar" appearance and the shape of the man in a hoodie peering in was an optical illusion and the first time I had ever seen it since that day I had gotten some stick-on hooks for my door and hung my overly-fluffy, dark-colored robe on it. In one instant, I was saved. It was all just like waking up from a dream, not real, I was safe, so was my son, and we were not about to die at the hands of a stranger. Relief like that is something I have never felt before. It was incredible. I looked away from him, looked at my son, thankful.

When I looked back at my door, I jolted, HE WAS THERE AFTER ALL!!!!!!

No...still just the robe. Good God, it looked so ridiculously real. When I had the mental strength to get out of bed, I took the robe off the hook and never put it on again. I told my boyfriend about the experience the next day and wound up going into a panic attack after telling him the story, it was really like something incredibly traumatizing had happened to me but he didn't understand at all. My mom just rolled her eyes when I told her but my dad...he understood fully.

So. Fluffy Robe that wants to rape and kill us...Let's not meet again.

So I was somewhere in my house and stuff was around, the air was cold with anticipation. I had been at home near my stuff for a while and felt comfortable.

Until I heard some noise or saw something and some one knocked the door so I got scared but I managed to answer the door.

It was him, I knew it he spoke to me....

I couldn't bear it it was so scary he said he had a package for me but I don't remember ordering anything but I took it anyway.

I thought it would be the last time I saw him, it wasn't. Every Coyle of days I see him some times I see him every day and he's always wearing the same thing I saw him wearing the first time I saw him.

He's there at the same time every day now always has a bag I think it's probably got rope and knifes in.

I can't leave my house between 830-10am I'm like a prisoner. He smiles when he comes to my door sometimes he knocks sometimes he just posts useless messages about home insurance and other weird hidden meaning stuff.

He hasn't been for a couple of days now so I think he's gone but man in red lets not meet again soon anytime.

So I was sitting on the toilet and trying to drop a large one. It was tough, taking me a few minutes, and finally I started thinking. "What if this is like that shitty movie where the guy shits out an alien? That would be weird as shit."

Then the second I finally drop it, there's a knock on the door. Normally this wouldn't be scary but I was home alone, other than my cat. My cat can't knock, so it must be someone else in my house.

I wipe really fast, pull up my pants trying to be quiet, then look out the window. My car is parked in the driveway and there aren't any signs of anyone else being there. Another knock at the door.

I decided to climb out the window and out onto my driveway. I stood there for a few seconds then decide to go back inside and try to scare the person from behind or something. I don't know what I was thinking, but I try the front door and it's locked. I guess I locked it when my parents left to bring my parakeet to the veterinarian. Damn that parakeet loved me so much, she was like a sister to me. The sister I never had.

Anyway, enough about the parakeet. Her name was Mabel and she was beautiful and adorable. Anyway, so I'm trying to figure out what to do know since I can't get in the front door that I locked and if I go in through the bathroom window, the only way out is past whoever the hell is at my bathroom door.

So I go around to my backyard and try to look inside some of the windows to see who was interrupting my sweet daily toilet vacation. I get to the door to our backyard and outside it on the lawn there are footprints leading up to the door from around the other side of the house.

Suddenly I realize I still have some shit left in my, and I really have to go again. Like really. And I can't get inside without this creep seeing me so I decide to take a shit on the lawn. I find a nice soft patch, not too much direct sunlight, just enough shade and shelter from the neighbors, and a patch of young, soft grass in which to do my duty. And then I poop. It was great. Ok, back to the story.

So I'm standing by our back door, then I follow the footprints around to the side of the house to another window back there. I look right in to the bathroom door and see no one outside it. So I go back around to the bathroom window, climb back in the house and flush the toilet. Then, another knock at the door.

So I open it and there, outside the door, steaming like the day it was born, is a giant pile of horse shit. And standing over it is a horse. I assume this shit came from that horse.

Anyway, it just stood there creepily and I was like WTF HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?! The horse just laughed really creepily, then galloped out my backdoor, through the glass which shatted all over the place.

The horse started eating the grass outside and at this point I was freaking the hell out, so I just hid behind the pile of horse shit watching the horse eat my grass.

I grabbed my phone from my room, still keeping an eye on the horse, and called the cops. They said they couldn't do anything because I had no evidence, so I said "Isn't a giant pile of horse shit enough evidence?" and the bitchy lady on the line was like "Sounds like it is." and she hung up, I still don't know why to this day. No one showed up to my house for hours, and it was getting dark. My parents weren't going to be back with Mabel for another couple hours, and all I could do was hide behind this pile of horse shit, watching the horse eat my grass. And shit smelled bad, let me tell you.

So I sat there while the sun was setting, and finally, when the horse had eaten nearly all the grass in my yard, leaving it a perfectly mowed length, the animal came to my patch of grass upon which I had pooped. I had completely forgot about it until I heard the horse trying to eat it. It was a terrible, inhuman noise that still haunts me. I never knew animals could make such noise. Then I finished pooping and the horse was like "UGH WHAT THE FUCK. FUCK! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK. DAMN THIS SHIT IS... UGH FUCK. I JUST... I CAN'T...I CAN'T EVEN..." and the horse bucked its back legs like six times, it was the most terrifying thing I've ever seen, and then it opened its mouth and showed its teeth and made that scary horse-like noise and ran the fuck off down the street and into the sunset. I haven't seen it since, thank god.

But, just last week I was pooping again, and it was great, no knocks on my door, no interruptions. It was peaceful. I finish up and open the door only to trip over another huge pile of shit. This time though, it was bull shit. I could tell by the smell. That smell of rotten grass and stomach acid from all four stomachs, I will never forget.

MFW I had to clean up another pile of shit.

Thanks for reading or not because no one reads this shit. It's too shitty. Or at least I hope it is, because this subreddits says Shitty so I put a lot of shit into this. I hope it means something; hope it has enough shit in it.

This story was from when my mother was a child. It's our family's stranger danger story and I'll never forget it. Going to get buried in this massive sub but fuck it.

So my mom is walking in the park. Now I'll describe the layout of the park, it's essential to the story later. Theres a parking lot and a park next to it. Anyways now that thats out of the way I can continue the story.

So my mom is walking when she sees a man. Now, my moms a big guy, 7 foot 9 and never gets scared, but what happens next still gives her shivers to this day. He looked at her. I mean for a full 2 seconds like a creep, and says "good day."

Now I know there isn't a lot of action or gore in this one, but its the possibilities that scare me. She could have been kidnapped, raped, or even downvoted on reddit. Who knows what could have happened if she responded to him.

I'm dyslexic and struggle with writing but I made a video about the experience (it's only audio with some pictures in the back ground) :

https://youtu.be/Jc2HpEOB6wo