"... as equal to one ten-millionth of the quarter meridian, the distance between the North Pole and the Equator along the meridian through Paris."

The will go to great lengths to avoid using imperial units.

They make up everything!

Science teacher who just finished teaching all atomic bonds: now think about this, which bond is the strongest?

Me: None. It's James Bond.

Teacher: LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT----

Jack jump over the combustion reaction of O₂ + heat + fuel --> CO₂ + light + heat + exhaust

I don’t know about black holes but I know and arsehole when I see one

"Of course I still love you!"

760 dark web programs

What potatoes was Mark Whatney eating in The Martian this whole time

Marshed potatoes .

Lavoisier orders a drink and takes a sip, but realises there’s something wrong with it. He turns to Davy and asks “hey man, my drink doesn’t taste right. Could you give it a quick sip?” Davy takes a sip, and figures out that to fix it, another drink should be added to it. So he calls out to the bartender and makes a special request to mix it in with another drink of his choosing, and after the bartender gives the two drinks a good mix, he serves it back to Davy.

Davy takes a gulp and notices that it’s starting to taste less funny, but there’s still something missing. He passes it to Arrhenius, who was already listening in. He gives it a taste, and realises that the drink probably wasn’t shaken well enough, so he asks the bartender to beat it using an egg beater rather than just shaking it.

After spending a good minute or two thoroughly beating it, he hands it over to Arrhenius again, who tries it out. “It’s almost there, I can feel it. But there’s one little thing missing I can’t put my finger on”

So then Brønsted and Lowry chime in, suggesting they could try to fix it. They both halve the drink into two glasses and try out a sip. Determining that it’s just missing fruit juices, they call out to the bartender to add some sweet lemon juice. The bartender squeezes it in, gives it a thorough mix and serves it to them.

Having convinced themselves they finally managed to get the drink right, they both clink their glasses and take a sip.

They immediately fall to the ground gargling saliva as the alcoholic beverage begins pouring out of a burning hole from their throats.

(I came up with this joke in 20 mins i need the karma to validate my waste of time)

Experts have always said they supposedly don't like Put-in people in their mouth

Hi! We're all Atoms

Because humans want to return to the womb.

‎Cr2O72 Dichromate haha gotem dees nuts

Because they're ugly.

Schrodinger sets up cat experiment to kill cat (dead or alive) but he accidently invents time machine so cat travel back in time and sets up the whole room into cat experiment to kill schrodinger.