Thanks to /u/CasualDM, /u/MrSmug for contributions, /u/SexyKaiser for vocalizing this
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(WELCOME TO RUNNERHUB - LET YOUR EYES ADJUST TO THE SHADOWS)
(Accessing Seattle Tonight)
(SEATTLE TONIGHT - FROM THE SHADOWS TO YOUR INBOX)
Good evening, Seattle.
The invisible society isn't one that gets current news very often - when the Seattle Monitor requires a DNA sample to get the weekly coupon transmission, the SINless learn to do without.
Enter myself - Mister Seattle Tonight. With the help of the Shadows, we've put together a weekly digest of mainstream news, advertisements, and less-than-legal viewpoints on our nightly lives.
One may ask, "Why the hell do I care about the latest Aztechnology stock report, S-T?" And I answer: You'll care about the two-tenths of a percent drop based on news of a lab accident in the Pyramid, chummer. That wasn't a lab accident, it was a four man crew based out of Tacoma making that sweet, sweet payday.
Seattle Tonight isn't your ordinary news source - it's bragging rights for the folks who can't afford to get made by Knight Errant, Saeder-Krupp, or Jenny at the Stuffer Shack.
POTHOLE PROBLEM WORSENING, RESIDENTS, BUSINESSES SAY
Security company Knight Errant pushing for street maintenance after vehicle crash
DOWNTOWN SEATTLE - Residents and business owners are flooding the Secretary of Transportation's inbox this morning after a violent crash hospitalized several Knight-Errant personnel who were part of a patrol convoy near Threshold Industries. The company, an A-level corporation, agreed to host a Knight-Errant readiness exercise as part of its annual employment contract.
Transportation manager Gene Cauhill said the department's hands are tied.
"We just don't have the budget," he said. "Checkpoint updates have taken most of the transportation money for the fiscal year."
Knight-Errant spokesperson Belinda Three-Arrows stated the company will work with the city of Seattle on augmenting the budget to ensure road maintenance increases in priority.
"We consider safe roads to be paramount in the pursuit of a safe city," she said in a prepared statement. "The crash of our security vehicle could have been avoided in its entirety if city departments work together to ensure this city's roadways, waterways, airways, and railways are properly maintained."
The security vehicle crash occurred approximately six blocks from Threshold Industries when it swerved to avoid road debris and impacted a large hole in the roadway, flipping the vehicle. The occupants were quickly retrieved by DocWagon and taken to Haeffner Memorial Hospital, where they remain in critical but stable condition.
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Seattle Tonight is still a little fresh of the presses, and we feel that some of the newcomers to the SINless existence may not understand exactly what we're about here in the lawless wastes. We decided, with the help of readers like you, to provide an idea of what Seattle can really be like.
(THE POLICE BLOTTER - YES, THIS REALLY HAPPENS)
INDECENT BEHAVIOR ON BEACON AVE Knight-Errant officers have recently received questions about whether or not public nudity is legal in the city. Here’s the naked truth: public nudity in and of itself is not a crime in Seattle. However, public nudity can quickly become a case of indecent exposure if the nudity causes a person to reasonably experience fear, alarm or concern. So, while some instances of public nudity may not offend, there are some cases in which it is nearly guaranteed to do so. One such incident, which occurred outside a Beacon Hill home last week, clearly illustrates the indecent side of public nudity.
It was just before 5 PM on August 4th when a 33-year-old orc woman—who officers would later describe as “extremely intoxicated”—wandered into the yard of a home in the 7800 block of Beacon Avenue S. There, several family members inside the home looked on through a window as the orc hiked up her dress and engaged in an intimate act with several lawn chairs.
The orc, clothes in disarray, then began urinating on the lawn before quite purposefully exposing her genitalia, and then posterior, to the family inside the home.
Officers quickly arrived at the scene and arrested the woman for her bawdy of work, and booked her into the King County Jail for indecent exposure.
Please keep this incident in mind before engaging in any sort of public nudity, lest you experience the brunt of Seattle’s decency laws.
HUMAN STABBED FOLLOWING ARGUMENT
A human man stabbed in the chest at a SIN-less encampment in the International District was sent to Harborview with life-threatening injuries on Wednesday.
Witnesses said the victim argued with another human at the camp, in the 700 block of South Main Street, around 4:30 a.m. Both men left the area, but the victim returned a few minutes later covered in blood. Seattle Knight-Errant was contacted about four hours later. When officers arrived, they found the victim struggling to maintain consciousness. He was treated by DocWagon medics on a pro-bono contract and sent to the hospital.
The suspect is described as a 25-year-old black male SIN-less human with a short afro, wearing all black clothing. Officers searched the area but didn’t find anyone matching the description. Anyone with information is asked to call K-E and speak with officers.
The final piece of news tonight is a guest column from a recent tourist to the Shadows.
Known as Celeste, this former designer has seen both sides of the coin - and to her credit, she's still willing to talk to the shadows while still pining for the ivory towers of corporatehood.
A NEW YORK MINUTE - FROM RICHES TO RAGS
I was asked to write this article as a cautionary tale of losing your SIN. Yeah, you heard me, losing your SIN. To all of those scoffing at the mere idea of misplacing something so vital with, “It’ll never happen to me!” I’d like to kindly ask you to look around. See all those people? At least one of those people would love to have your spotless SIN as their own. It isn’t like losing your wallet, keys, or even your car. It’s about losing your life entirely. Your SIN or System Identification Number is literally your lifeline in this world. Your own Bank Statements, housing address, and even your background history are all linked to one little twelve digit code. That’s it. Imagine if that string of numbers fell into the wrong hands? Did you feel that rush of fear as you thought of everything you would lose? Yeah, well it happened to me.
I left my commlink behind at an outing for my job as a fashion designer at an undisclosed designer. I immediately left home for a late brunch at my favorite café. I sat down at the table as my favorite waiter, John, began to bring over a cup of Soykaf but was stopped by the manager. He let me know that my payment had been declined. I immediately refused to believe him begging him to try again but he simply shook his head and showed me. Sure enough, there in big red text on my AR, was “Declined”. I sank down in my chair as I felt chills all over. My heart raced uncontrollably as I struggled to understand. I fished around quickly for a credstick or two to cover the drink but I was distraught at the idea of the entire situation. How could my payment be declined? How could I have not had enough for a simple drink? Before I could embarrass myself further I was ushered out of the café with tears welling in my eyes. John in his fancy black suit offered me a tissue to wipe my eyes as he shoved me out the door.
“Come back when you can pay.” He said shutting the door in my face.
I clutched the tissue tightly as I began to whimper quietly. How could this have happened to me? I ran to my car and burst into tears as stress began to overwhelm me. I cried for a few minutes in my car before being able to compose myself as one should.
“It’s okay.” I told reassured myself out loud. My voice struggling to not crack as I quietly sobbed. “I just need to fix myself and get to work. Everything will be alright.”
I looked up into the mirror and quickly fixed myself up to look presentable. Finally, I started my car and drove to work just like any other day. Finally I arrived at the building where I worked. The shining tower of grace and beauty looming over the grimy streets of Seattle.
I stepped inside and was greeted with the aroma of lavender and floors so clean they could double as mirrors. I cleared my throat, straightened my back, and marched over to the employee’s entrance. I flashed a white smile to the camera as I went to open the door. The door’s locks immediately activated with heavy click. I tried the door again and again.
“Not Recognized.” Boomed an electronic female voice from a nearby speaker.
“What? I work here! I’m here every day! Try again!” I demanded as I tugged the door even harder this time. I arched my back as my feet slid forward and into the door.
“Please, cease all activities at this time or security will be called.” This time it boomed any louder. People were beginning to mutter behind me. I kicked the door with my shoes. Suddenly, a man burst through the door with a pistol raised and barked at me. I dropped to the ground and fought back tears again.
“Ma’am! I need you to come with me.” He barked. I hesitated.
“No…you don’t understand. I work here. My name is Celeste Valkyria! Check again!” He hesitated as I pleaded for something, anything, which would come and help me. He quickly checked something then went to place a call. He whispered something quietly.
“Yeah, your face matches our database but your SIN doesn’t. I’m sorry but I’m not letting you in until you can prove who you say you are.” Tears gave way to rage as I struggled not to scream nonsense at the guard.
“That’s archaic! I’m Celeste Valkyria! I’ve been working here for six years! Check your records you see that I came in here yesterday and left around six at night! You have to believe me!” I stamped my foot on the last word in frustration.
“No, Ma’am. I’m not letting you in without proper verification.” His hand hovered over his gun. I threw up my hands at the air and screamed loudly. People were definitely staring now.
“Fine! I’ll just go home then but if I lose my job it’s on you, mall cop!” I stormed out of there and slammed my car door screeching out of my parking spot and back into the open road.
I was fuming. How dare that man refuse me! I was above his pay grade. When this entire thing sorted itself I’ll be sure to report him for harassment, negligence, and whatever else I could think fit. I was enraptured by my own revenge fantasy that I struggled to hear the sirens coming up close behind me.
It was only when the Knight Errant vehicle’s lights began to flash my mirror that I noticed the car.
“Pull over to the side of the road, now!” The officer yelled. I gripped the wheel so tight that my knuckles went white. Struggling the idea of flooring it and getting on the six o’clock news I pulled over. I killed the engine and waited for the officer. He strut up to the window and rapped his knuckles on the glass. I opened the window.
“Ma’am, do have any idea how fast you were going?” He asked. It looked like he was chewing something in the strange drawl that he spoke. CAS, maybe?
“No officer. I’m sorry. I’m having a terrible day and I-“He raised his finger to his lips and I immediately trailed off into silence.
“Let me see your identification Miss.” My heart leaped for the second time today. I chuckled nervously as I felt my foot touch the gas pedal.
“Miss, your ID!” He barked loudly.
“I don’t have it, sorry!” I cried, immediately slamming down on the gas. The car lurched forward as the Officer quickly jumped back. He cursed loudly as he fumbled with his holster.
I immediately hit the road and didn’t stop until I ducked into an alleyway and began to cry. I cried until they found me and without hesitation hit me with a rubber bullet that put me down.
Everything passed in a blur. I tried over, and over, and over again to prove that I was Celeste Valkyria, an up and coming fashion designer who didn’t deserve any of this. But no one believed me. It took several calls and the help of my legal counsel to start the process of getting through the bureaucracy to reclaim my identity. I lost a year of my life for things I didn’t do and in the end I lost my job, my house, and my spotless record. I gained a criminal SIN and new identity.
So as I write this for the measly paycheck that only someone like me can dream of I’d like for you to learn from my mistake. That one mistake that created this horror story. So, back to what I said earlier. Remember your SIN? That little string of numbers? It controls your entire life. Don’t even lose track of it. Always stay vigilant, always stay safe, and remember: IT can happen to YOU!
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