Does being a mom ever feel like all you do is COOK, CLEAN, PLAYDATES, GROCERY SHOP, PLEASE your spouse and NOTHING for your self? It might just be me..,,,

Does anyone else struggle with constant anxiety after becoming a mom?
Ever since I had my first daughter, my anxiety has gotten worse. During my postpartum recovery, a close friend went through a heartbreaking experience involving her child. Seeing her struggle affected me deeply, and those feelings have stayed with me ever since.
Now I worry constantly about myself and my daughters—their health, their safety, and being apart from them. Even everyday things like driving with them make me anxious because my mind always jumps to the worst-case scenario.
I also avoid medical appointments because I’m afraid of receiving bad news. It feels like my mind never takes a break from worrying.
I’ve started using my phone as a distraction. I spend hours scrolling just to keep my mind busy. My screen time averages around 10 hours a day and sometimes reaches 12.
I feel emotionally drained, and I usually can’t fall asleep until I’m completely exhausted.
I’m currently pregnant, which also makes me hesitant to seek help because I’m unsure what support or treatment would be suitable for me.
Has anyone experienced something similar? What helped you manage these feelings?

A family member bought my son a John Deere tractor toy for his December birthday. They bought it early so that he could possibly use it before the weather gets too cold. Should I unbox it and use it now, knowing it might sit in the garage unused for the next three months? Or should I wait until spring to even give it to him?

TBH the toy is really sick and I know he’ll love it and I’m equally excited about it. But he’ll see it in the garage all winter and be wanting to play with it. I’m not sure what to do!!

It’s 2:30 pm on my sons 3rd birthday. Still no phone call from them. No card.

Hopefully they remember by dinner time zzz

Hello ! On november 1st my downstairs neighbours in my apartment complex welcomed a new baby! I don’t know them personally and don’t see them at all but I thought it would be a nice to get them a little something to congratulate them.
I was initially thinking of getting some Pampers, but then I started wondering whether a newborn would even fit into diapers or if there are different sizes depending on the baby’s age.I don’t really have much experience with babies as I haven’t had many young children in my family, so I’m a little lost when it comes to what would actually be useful.I was thinking of leaving a small gift and a card in front of their door. Since I don’t know them I don’t want to get anything too personal or overstep just something small and thoughtful.
I am 18 so I don’t have much money so I’d like to keep it under €15 if possible
Does anyone have any recommendations?
Thank you!

I have an 18 month old who isn’t meeting his speech milestones. He isn’t saying enough words and I take him to speech therapy twice a week to try to help with that, we are seeing small improvements with his communication. I’m a SAHM (not by choice, my husband doesn’t want me to work and threatens divorce if I choose to go to work). I have tried my best to accept that my education has gone to waste (I’m a pharmacist and it took me a lot of effort to get my degree and I love it). My husband just cannot accept that it’s important to me.

I‘m trying to accept this and just be a SAHM for my son. My husband pays for everything of course, and I do all the house chores. Cooking, cleaning, and I’m the one who takes care of our son full time. I’ve done all the night wakings ever since he was born, all the feedings, all the changing. My husband isn’t a bad father but he is not the best husband. Ever since we had our son, he always makes me feel guilty about things. If I express how sad I am that I can’t pursue my career or an education, or do anything for myself, it angers him and he starts to make me feel so guilty for bringing it up. It leads to conflict every time and he always accuses me of “not wanting my son” and being a bad mom because I don’t want my son.

He thinks me wanting a career is me wanting to get away from my son and ”dumping him in daycare”. If my son gets sick, it’s my fault. If my son cries because he’s fussy, it’s my fault and I “did something to him”. If my son trips and falls at home, it’s my fault because why couldn’t I stop him from falling? Of course, my son’s slight speech delay is my fault because I don't know how to teach him.

The other day my son didn’t take his daily nap, he just wouldn’t nap (he doesn’t sleep well at all since he was born), so he slept early at 7 pm. My husband came home and accused me of giving him a sleeping pill or meds to make him sleep which was absurd! I lost my mind and couldn’t believe the accusation. That night he woke up at 2 am to play and I made my husband stay up with him for 4 hours until he went back to sleep… yet he still insists i gave him a sleeping pill. The past 3 months my son has been waking up at night wanting to be carried and rocked around the house. it’s taking a severe toll on me because i am up at night for 2-3 hours just walking around my house carrying him and rocking him to sleep. If I sit down he starts crying so I have to keep walking. my husband refuses to sleep train - of course he says it’s abusive. He refuses to try to teach our son how to put himself back to sleep. If I put the child down and let him cry, my husband accuses me of being neglectful and abusive because I don’t “love him enough” and don’t mind seeing him cry.

I can’t take it anymore. I explained to my husband so many times how it’s normal for a child to cry and there are things we need to teach him, we need to give him space to grow and be firm when needed. My husband doesn’t seem to understand or he just doesn’t want to understand that. The other day I had to wake up for 5 hours in the middle of the night (my son is getting heavy, too heavy for me and it’s causing me pain in my neck, shoulders, back), I got a little frustrated and loudly told my son to “please just go to sleep”. My husband was awake and listening while lying down in his room, he came and had an argument with me at 3 am saying I’m abusive because I “screamed” at the child. He said my son is afraid of me because I’m so abusive and angry towards him and that I’m a bad mom and I don’t appreciate my family or house. My child only wants me. He is only comfortable with me and i have never in my life screamed at him or scared him or done anything to make him feel bad or sad.

There are so many more similar instances and details and I don’t know what to do. I gave up my whole life and I literally gave up who I am for my family… yet it’s not enough. I play with me son all day and do everything for the house but I’m still not enough. My husband is also angry and always complaining because when he comes home from work or a night out with friends, I look tired and sad. I’m just exhausted. I’ve told him a million times I’m just exhausted and burnt out and don’t sleep well. He just won’t understand. I don’t know how to handle this all. I don’t have anything for myself, I completely lose myself and gave up, and if I bring up my wants and dreams in life, he gets angry. If I express that I had a bad day or that I am tired, it irritates him. He accuses me of being negative and sad for no reason. Every time he criticizes me, it irritates me and bothers me, then he gets angry because he can clearly see on my face that I don’t like the criticism, and that just leads to more and more conflict and arguments. he wants a happy robot not a wife. I’m tired.

Unfortunately our house has been hit with hand foot and mouth disease. Our child had little to no symptoms however I am seriously struggling. I ended up in the ER for heart rate and blood pressure issues (elevation) that they are putting down to the virus. I’m still not feeling better. Has any adult here had similar symptoms & how long did it take to resolve?

Thank you

I am at a loss as to how to move forward. When my baby was 7 months old we experienced a house fire, luckily a neighbour had seen the fire and alerted us. We escaped in the middle of the night, I didn't even have shoes on. We are honestly lucky to be alive. We lost absolutely everything. I thought that would have been the worst of this journey.

Between moving to temporary housing, to living in a family members basement, it has taken us almost 7 months to find stable housing, we have moved about 10 different times. Each time we can see glimpses of light in the distance, another wave comes that leaves us absolutely destroyed. After the landlords coming after us, we are now battling with the insurance company who thinks we are responsible for the fire ( we aren't, it was a structural issue.) I am honestly struggling to keep going at this point. On top of all of this there is so much guilt that my little guy has to live through so much tragedy in the first year of his life. He is honestly the only thing keeping me going.

I guess I'm just looking for any stories some fellow moms have of getting through tragedy and difficult times even when you thought you couldn't.. I just need some strength right now.

I am 11 months pp. have had VERY little interest in anything intimate. Sometimes I think I could be in the mood but my brain stops it and gets kind of disgusted at the thought of enjoying it?? My husband is a saint and is soooo understanding and sweet. It has nothing to do with him, but all to do with not being able to clear my mind and I think about my baby ALL the time. I want to have that connection with my husband again but it also feels like doing it again for the first time. I’m nervous!!!

I don’t know what kind of advice I’m looking for or maybe just solidarity? I feel broken. I want more babies but can’t if I don’t know how to practice making them!!😂

Considering on doing this but just wondering if people had regrets on being able to financially afford little luxuries vs not being stressed about life 24/7.

I’m a 49 single mom. Told my 12 yo son I’d take him to Best Buy to exchange a VR headset this morning - I messed up last night and struggled to find all the pieces we needed so I promised we’d go today. I was getting ready - had been wearing a tank top like I normally sleep in and before I changed shirts my son comes in and says “Wow, I didn’t really believe when my friend said it…” “Said what?” At this point I know we’re going into a topic that’s probably offensive. “Well, that women 50, or around 50 have you know…*swings hands in front of his chest*…” “I know what?” “Well, saggy tiddies..”. I lost my shit.

I’ve lost tons of weight in the past few years, have been in a nearly constant type of recovery from 10 surgeries for a catastrophic ankle injury in 2022, struggled with severe depression, post partum, my son’s dad failed to show up countless times on days I wanted my own time to try and get physical activity in. Maintaining my girlish figure was just not anywhere on my list of priorities.

My son was affected by my lack of activity and bad/easy food choices especially since Covid then my accident. So he’s gained a good deal of weight that I feel terrible about. I know his friends and dad’s family can be mean to him about his weight. Struggling with weight all my life I didn’t want this for him. I thought my own recent weight loss would be a good motivator and in some ways it has but then the comments about loose skin, sagging boobs, all the problems I am well aware of and have been in some way for 49 years just felt like such a blow.

I’ve never criticized his body - well his feet are his dad’s and drive me nuts with shoes. Otherwise I’ve tried to NOT do what others did to me because the ridicule led to extreme eating disorders that I still clearly struggle with. I know this is a topic for EMDR (the trauma surrounding it was pretty brutal, too) and therapy and ketamine work. I told him I wasn’t rewarding bad behavior so we’d do BB another time.

He gave me a lot of excuses for why he said it and should have switched to a filter when talking to me. But that wasn’t a filter issue it was him being a jerk - he’ll occasionally throw comments like that out to see how I’ll respond. Most body comments do not land well especially when I’ve tried my best to help him understand whatever his opinions are about a females body he needs to keep them to himself unless he wants to get back similar comments. I hate that this got under my skin so badly. I hate that I got so angry with him. I hate that at 49 years old I can still feel like that chubby little girl that always felt so ugly because of WEIGHT and physical issues that had nothing to do with beauty. If you made it this far thanks for reading. I just needed to vent. Some days I don’t feel like a troll, but man today just hit that fragile spot I keep pretty protected.

We are normally screen-free while our 25-month-old is awake. Well, she woke up with a nasty stomach bug this morning—fever, throwing up all day, and basically just slothing on the couch.

​I’m away for work, and when I called to check in, my hubby told me they’ve been cuddled up watching old Moomin cartoons on YouTube. I completely understand. She’s too weak to play or even really sit up, and he’s been solo-parenting a puking toddler all day.

​I know a little Moomin isn't going to hurt her, and I'm honestly glad it's keeping her resting. I'm just stressing a little about what happens after this. She’s right at that age where she remembers everything, and I'm worried that as soon as her tummy is better, she’s going to be begging for "more, more, more" and we’ll be dealing with nonstop meltdowns trying to go back to no screens. Or will they over time understand that TV is something she gets to do when feeling unwell? I know they need consistency and clear patterns.

​For other screen-free (or mostly screen-free) parents: do you make an exception for sick days? How hard was it to get back to normal once your toddler recovered, and how did you explain it to them so it didn't turn into a daily battle?

My 1 year old recently started walking. I got him a pair of prewalker shoes. He will not wear them. He screams even by the sight of them and gets so upset. I have stopped trying them on him as he really really hates them. Ideally when we go out I would like him to wear them so his feet don't get cold on the floor. Any advice please let me know. Thank you

I’m 32 weeks pregnant and everyone told me I wasn’t ready and I didn’t listen early on(Also because I didn’t care to go through an abortion)
What I’m trying to say is I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I’m 17 and just a year ago I was partying and being young and experimental and now I’m going to be a mom.
To be pretty and care free is the dream and I feel like I lost those. When I was in shape and felt beautiful I had hours to workout and it was a coping mechanism for some bs I got
Into in the past with who’s now my
Baby’s dad and I don’t have that motivation or the time and I can’t ever see my self being that yk. Me a year ago was in shape and vibrant and I want to be her again but the version of my self didn’t have a child. This SHIT SUCKS

HOW DO YOU GUYS DO IT?!

My husband and I will have to fly our 2.5 year old and 13 month old on a 5h flight.

I am preparing by reading books about airplanes/airports, buying toys that will capture their focus and are silent, and even bought the FlyAway air mattress for each of them on marketplace for a huge discount.

We have yet to buy the plane tickets. My husband and I disagree on if we should buy a seat for our 13 month old. We don’t have to as he can sit on our laps the entire time. I am looking for any and all advice input on if buying the 13 month old a seat will be worth it or a waste of money.

Pros: mom and dad’s arms can get a break if needed, they can sleep at the same time if needed instead of having to worry about shifts, there will be no fighting on who gets to sit/play on the air mattress, the 13 month old can sit and play next to the 2.5yo

Cons: most seats are in 3s so I think best option would be to purchase an entire row of three, aisle, then seat of 1 next to the aisle, one of or both of the kids may want to sit on our laps for a good portion of the flight anyway so it may be a waste

I’m 6m PP from my second. Both around 9lbs. Gained and lost 50lbs each time. I didn’t notice much change in the skin on my stomach the first time but I’m seeing quite a change this time. When I’m doing pushups I can see it’s quite wrinkled and loose. I am fully ok with this. It’s the price of doing business with babies! 1000% worth it.

My question is. When did you see your skin texture stop improving? Online says there can be improvement up to a year.

My daughter wants a late over(sleep under) for her eighth birthday in January. I know that most of the moms are going to probably stay instead of dropping off their kids. I’m fine with this because even though we all know each other, I want everyone to do what makes them feel comfortable.

My issue is…I don’t really know what to do for the parents that choose to stay. I imagine I’ll mostly be upstairs in the family room with the girls and monitoring them, but how do we entertain the parents? It’s different at those party places but this is my home. I want to host them but I will be tending to my daughter and her friends. Does anyone have any ideas? I’m certain I’m overthinking this but we’ve never done one before.

Also if your kiddo was invited to a party like this, would you prefer Friday or Saturday?

Obviously wood sounds nicer and looks nicer, but I am also worried about it from a child safety perspective. If they were to bonk their heads on a wooden structure I feel like that would hurt a lot worse than plastic. The wood structure we are considering is made from New Zealand Pine btw. What do you all think? Anyone have experience with this?

https://avenlur.com/products/avenlur-cherry-5-in-1-wooden-indoor-climber

I have one son who is 2, and I am pregnant with my second now, due in March.

We just found out the gender and struggling with a lot of gender disappointment. ( this is a natural conception but I did do 4 rounds of IVF to try and have a girl and never had an embryo to transfer)

I have always liked the idea of 3, but we were aiming for a 2 child family, but my husband did say that he would be happy with a third if it meant I could have my girl. Logistically 2 just seemed easier.

So now, I am trying to come to terms with what 3 actually looks like. I am an only child, so the idea of a full dinner table makes me happy. But I do worry about the realities.

For the sake of argument, assume it is garenteed the 3rd is a girl. I don’t want to discussing the idea of a third if it is boy.

The age gaps we are looking at is
4, 1.5, and newborn? ( as a best, worst case scenario, although as my history displays, things don’t go to plan)

Additionally, I turn 35 in December, so I don’t want to waste time for the third.

So, am I making a mistake?

We can afford a third child, it wasn’t in the plan but it will be fine. We have enough bedrooms. No village or support system but we have flexible jobs and can get babysitters.

As the titles states, I got hand foot and mouth from my daughter. She had a fairly mild case, and I just noticed this morning that I have some itchy bumps on my hands and feet. Not a ton or super noticeable, and so far no other symptoms. I’m also 10.5 weeks pregnant, but from what I’ve read it’s not a major concern in pregnancy.

From everything I’ve seen online, parents get it wayyy worse than their kids. Did any of you have a mild case, or recover quickly? Looking for some positive stories - I’m already pretty wiped from pregnancy and worried about how much worse it might get.

Thanks!

I am a FTM to a baby girl that is 3 months old. I have a beautiful, realistic, dollhouse that was mine as a child, that my grandparents paid a lot for. I was about 9 or 10 when I got it. I knew it was very special and expensive and that I was very lucky to have it. I played with it and absolutely loved it, but knew to be gentle. I had always planned to pass it down to my daughter one day but now not sure how to go about that.

My original plan was to have it set up in her nursery as decoration, but not let her play with it until she's like 6 or 7 and knows how to be gentle (as it was all hand glued together from thousands of pieces). I know even at that age, it wont be kept in perfect condition and im fine with that. However, now im thinking, maybe thats kind of cruel to have an extravagent toy in her room that she is not allowed to play with? I feel like she may want to play with it as early as 2 or 3 years old, but it'sdefinitely not an appropriate toy for a toddler/preschooler.

Should we keep it somewhere else until she's old enough to play with it?

Hi moms, advice needed 41F here single mom to a 17 almost 18yo daughter. Always just been her and I with my friend group as her village. I don’t give regular chores for her but when I ask her to do something she always does. She’s well aware of the fact that I work for a living and I’ve raised her to be considerate and empathetic. Lately we’ve run into a lot of moments of “well you always do it why do I need to?” Example: out shopping for groceries today she wanted to come with. She moped and had attitude the whole time. Get to the car she went to just get in and I said hey you can help load the car. So she did. Then the cart was empty and I said, can you bring it back? “Well why??” Because it needs to go back. “But you always do it” right but you see I’m still sorting and loading the trunk… is this a failure on me? Like, am I not making her do enough in the real world? She’s about to be 18 and will eventually need to be doing all this out in the wild. I’m not a gentle parenting type never have been but I’m also not an asshole. She often makes her own meals because I go to sleep so early I work at 5am everyday. She knows how to do things so I’m not sure why it’s such an ask to put the friggin grocery cart away after she just watched me spend $300 to feed us. I didn’t get on her case about it but come on. Frustrating.

I am 19 and I have a 1 year old. I know that a lot of teens aren't mature enough to do this and I don't want to be one of them. Coming online and saying this isn't exactly the easiest thing but I need to know what you wouldn't have known at 19. I want to know what my development stops me from knowing. I know I can't force my frontal lobe to be fully developed but I can certainly try.

Is there anyone that felt very wobbly and off balance weeks post partum?? My head and body feels so wobbly when I walk, my head feels heavy especially. It’s like my body is disconnected from my brain.
It happens constantly whenever I am walking or standing.

Am I the only one who doesn’t like this? Is it true, sure! BUT only after at least one hangry meltdown and potentially disrupted sleep and other dis regulations. Trust they will eat when they need to. I am sorry but I don’t! They don’t understand what low blood sugar is and how that affects them. Obviously we can’t force feed them and want them to have healthy eating habits but it’s frustrating and dismissive to hear; as if a child is immune to the affects of not eating for an extended period of time. Random frustration rant over.