A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician go on a hunting trip, they are walking through the woods when they spot a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance of the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, adjusts his rifle and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the left. The engineer rolls his eyes. 'You forgot to account for wind. Give it here', he snatches the rifle, licks his finger and estimates the speed and direction of the wind and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the right. Suddenly, the statistician claps his hands and yells "We got him!"

They all stroked cause they wanted to be with Carrie.

-1

Haji comes to the United States from India, and he's only here a few months when he becomes very ill. He goes to doctor after doctor, but none of them can help him. Finally, he goes to an Indian doctor.

The doctor says, "Take dis bucket, go into de other room, shit in de bucket, piss on de shit, and then put your head down over de bucket and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes."

Haji takes the bucket, goes into the other room, shits in the bucket, pisses on the shit, bends over, and breathes in the fumes for ten minutes.

Then he comes back to the doctor and says, "It worked! I feel terrific. What was it?"

The doctor replies, "You were homesick."

Optimistic.

Now she’ll finally learn about rejection

D works best, but whatever you do, don't use A Minor.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Pull the pin and throw it back

Me (who skinned a black person): this is why nobody likes you

Last night I found a young homeless girl hidden amongst the bins. She was dirty and smelled horrible, but I knew under that grime was a pretty girl. I took her in and bathed her, as I toweled her down I became aroused.

One thing led to another and before I knew it I was frantically fucking her on the bathroom floor. At one point I was banging her so hard that you'd think she was still alive.

Sparks flew, she fell at my feet, and we had sex then and there.

I love my new taser.

Bill tried to cheer up Hillary this morning by reminding her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president until after he had served 27 years in prison.

They do it all the time, but get really angry when white people join in.

He orders a beer.

The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.

A Muslim walks into a gay bar in Florida The bartender asks "what will you have?" The Muslim replies "shots for everyone"

LGBBQ

I told him there was no need for senseless violence.

On the school bus the little pricks are on the inside.

So I've promised to make a real effort to learn her kid's real names.

I shouted, “My money's on the one with the knife!"

You should’ve seen them both run away.

We only want the white ones but most of them are yellow and the black ones must be removed

I said, "What's up, won't it start?"