Be me chilling in McDonalds on my switch waiting for my food.

kid comes along and says he wants my switch.

i say no

his mom comes crashing through the wall.

hE HaS GOoD GrAdES givE HiM THe tHInG

i say no.

the bitch transforms into some 50 foot tall monster and her spawn becomes a laser canon.

I whistle and suddenly ben shapiro comes crashing to the ground doing a superhero landing.

He whips out his 10000 inch dick and hits crazy bitch in the head with it so hard that even it sent shockwaves throughout the space time continum.

He says some shit about how liberals are shit and makes her spawn explode using facts.

he snaps his fingers and she reverts to her normal self

my dick is diamonds at this point

Ben Shapiro lands, and crazy bitch is on the floor foaming from the mouth due to not being able to handle the ben shapiros power

"Get pwnd you filthy infidel"

His voice echos through the cosmos

he stomps on her head causing her to explode.

the manager gives me a free private jet and ben shapiro makes me his disciple teaching me his ways making me his partner.

mfw i just wanted a big mac.

mfw i ended up becoming a millionaire god.

mfw.

• be me

• guy in his late 20’s

• low paying desk job, doesn’t pay enough for my potential but pays enough for me to keep crawling back

• rents a house in a shitty neighborhood

• area is really bad, gets mugged twice in three months

• I mean, can you expect more out of Gazipur?

• the real problem is the neighbors

• none of them even responds to ‘hello, how are you?’

• all of them are loud as fuck

• not your average ‘quarrels with wife once a week’ tier

• like whale mating noise type bad

• the guy living next to me is the main character of this story

• dark-skinned, bald, middle-aged guy with a belly larger than 8 months pregnant woman

• plays loud Hindi song on TV till late at night

• still okay I guess

• here things start going down the toilet

• n(ice individual)gger beats wife

• still doesn’t concern me

• tried to make a conversation and she looked at me like I’m responsible that her husband beats her daily

• prolly deserves the beating tbh

• the problem is still not that

• the problem is how she screams during the beating

• in a scale of Japanese girls moaning in porn to torture cells in Gulag, I’d say the scream falls in the category of Godzilla being raped by King Kong

• beats almost every night

• can’t fucking sleep

• decides to man up and do something

• knocks on the door

• guy comes out

• belt is still in hand

• ‘Dude, enough is enough, I can’t even sleep at night because of your wife screaming all night’

• looks at me with eyes as red as communism

• ‘this is your chance, say it anon, it’s now or never’

• ‘here, take this bro, duct tape, use this’

• no more screams at night, sleep like God during the holocaust

• that’s the story of how I made a good friend in a bad neighborhood

>be me
>grew up using windows xp because my grandma never upgraded
>2016
>grandma finally upgrades to a windows 10 computer

>Heaven.mp4
>ff late 2017
>miss windows xp
>learn about virtual machines

>create a virtual machine of windows xp
>I can finally play space cadet pinball
>See nostalgic windows xp background
>Life has been good since

Be me Get an idea Print out “it’s okay to be white” posters Go to school Have some mates put up about 4 posters Me and mates get in trouble We guessed that putting up posters without permission would get us in more trouble nope.jpeg Get called to office Get told that the school is a “safe space” and that they’d be making some phone calls panic.png They start taking them as “evidence” mfw they fell for the trap anyway but I’m fucked anyways mfw I’m not allowed to talk about it but I’m posting it here kek I guess being white is not okay

Will update on the situation as it goes

> be me a year ago

> helped this girl with this event as a staff

> after the event, she approached me

> she wanted to be close friends and share and talk about our personal problems

> after a week, she stopped replying to me

> figured she changed her mind and I was chill about it

> she blocked me and never contacted me ever since

> fast forward 20 minutes ago

> she asked me for help for the same event for this year

> wanted to help but I'm busy so I said I can't

> mfw

/img/jdcorr8eois31.jpg

Be me No laptop or pc Have big fingers Typing is hard

help

be me, 14, during drama practice

people are supposed to change in the changing room but nobody does for whatever reason

Instead, people change in the prop room

People who already changed usually loiter in the prop room

Cute junior announces to everybody not to look because she's changing

my dumbass looks in her directions and yells "WHAT?"

looks as she's taking her shirt off

nice.jpeg

I had a good day that day

be me

17 years old, Italian boy, going to an Aviation highschool

done the "School-to-work apprenticeship" for six weeks and compiled every type of paper given by the school

send the paper to school

get an email back

"Anon you didn't send the Apprenticeship verification papers"

look for the papers in my email

No_papers.jpg

Oh_fuck.mp3

write an email to warn that I don't have the papers

no response for days

warp to today

recive email with the documents

Finally.mp4

send documents

recive a new email after five minutes

"Wow that was fast"

it's from the school

"The fuck do they want?"

"Dear Anon, if you don't send all the documents for tomorrow morning at 9, your apprenticeship will be considered null"

"Must be a joke"

mfw it isn't

mfw I've done everything for nothing

mfw my school is fucked up

Be me 15 yo

Hanging out w gf

She on period

Sad.gif

She leaves to go to bathroom

She comes back

“Hey Anon i’m off my period”

Fuckyes.png

Get kinky shit on

Ohfucksheiswettoday.pdf

fuckfuckfuck

Bedroom looking like the Rwandan massacre

Cry

Be me 10 minutes ago walking home wanting to kill myself look around everything’s really pretty cryinginpublic.jpg Dont give up

Be me Be browsing r/GreenTextStory Bored.jpg Want to make green text Decide to be tard and write this If you are reading this then good job Happy.img

EDIT: I don’t know how to edit title it is supposed to say Anon is happy so if you know how to edit a title please help me (I’m new to reddit)

be me a 5 y/o eccentric mad lad Christmas morning opening_presents.exe fucking fall over and lacerate my hand can see inside of my hand at hospital doctor says i severed 4 tendons on 3 fingers have extra tendon on ring finger fml.jpeg watching surgeons stitching inside of hand together my parents face when i want to cherish this moment my parents face when i pull out my phone and take a picture