Hello. My latest video is up. Bearing the How Podcast #3. I'd love for you guys to check it out. It was a great conversation about my experience with suicide, Jordan Peterson, Sam Harris, religion, and much more PHILOSOPHICAL ideas. I'd love to start building a community of people who are like-minded, just trying to do the best they can do in life.

Thank you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFeN_B-LACo&t=721s

I am posting this so I won’t be completely alone with my thoughts. This will be a lot to read and it may seem strange and ridiculous at times but please pay attention because I am in a lot of pain and I don’t know what to do. It’s hard to summarize all of this so keep in mind that this is not the full picture and doesn’t tell you every single thing about why I feel this way, but I’ll explain it as well as I can. Also, I apologize in advance if this causes any of you distress, I’d keep it to myself but it’s extremely agonizing to not tell anybody about this. I don’t have anybody I know in real life who I can mention this to.

Several months ago I joined a spiritual server on a chat application. I soon came across someone who was saying interesting things about extraterrestrials that I hadn’t heard elsewhere, specifically about the species that people call “reptilian” or “draconian.” At first it was just things about their appearance, society, behavior, etc. The descriptions were very detailed, realistic, and clearly weren’t just pulled out of nowhere. Because I loved the idea of this species, and felt that I had even been one before, I started reading a lot of what this person had written. This person said he had been a reptilian prior to this current life and came with some of the knowledge of this species “built in.” He says that he has also done years of research on this on top of that.

I then found things about how the majority of the spiritual community’s perception of reptilians is false. First and foremost, that they are not all bad, that they aren’t all trying to cause harm to humanity, that they don’t “feed on fear”, and that they don’t look like humans with scales and have a more animalistic appearance (Which was good to learn) Then, I started to read about humanity’s history and the reptilian’s involvement with humanity. What I’m about to say may seem very “out there” but there are good reasons I am taking it seriously which may become clear as you continue to read.

Humans were created by an alien species who came to earth millions of years ago, found early hominids, and combined alien DNA with the hominids. Why this was done, or what species did it, is unclear to me right now. However, they were genetically altered in such a way that imbalanced them towards feminine energy (Hence the flat faces and “soft” features) and apparently this is the cause of most issues and dysfunction in human society. The reason why this has such a big effect is that the body can influence the mind and behavior. Apparently humans are much more psychologically sensitive than reptilian aliens, and aliens in general. Something that would be a very small deal to an alien would be a disaster to a human. This is why humans live in the way they do, building insulated houses with electricity, plumbing, etc. creating “concrete jungles” and cities, and doing everything they can to accumulate wealth and anything that helps defend and insulate themselves from the forces of nature while destroying nature in the process. Whereas an alien wouldn’t feel the need for these things because their body is more adept to survival without all of those accommodations. Reptilians apparently have scales that are highly resistant to fire and cuts, and have better anatomy in many ways. That person pointed out countless examples and there would be too many to list here. And this anatomy in turn influences their psychology to such a degree that they don’t experience suffering to nearly the degree that humans do.

Apparently the reptilians are aware of this and in fact have a plan to genetically modify all humans to have a more animalistic body (Most likely a reptilian body) in turn freeing humans from the dysfunction inherent to the human body and preventing continued destruction to the planet we have been causing through our lifestyles. This isn’t the part that I take issue with, in fact I’d much prefer such a body over a human body. But I do have a big problem with the means they are apparently using to achieve their goal. This person has reiterated time and time again that they have a noble goal but they don’t care at all what means they use to achieve it.

Apparently most of spirituality and spiritual principles/rules that are thought to be inherent to the universe, as well as communications and channelings with what people have perceived to be god, angels, spirit guides, aliens, the spirits of loved ones, etc. are an enormous manufactured hoax pulled off with extremely advanced technology. It is all essentially a social engineering program to manipulate humanity to do/think certain things that would make it easier for them to accept it when aliens reveal themselves publicly, as well as make it easier to accept the change to their bodies. It is meant to polarize humans towards positivity, I think maybe so they can realize that “pure love and light” is an unbalanced way to live and doesn’t work in the long run, therefore letting them realize the necessity of a body with a more even balance of the energies of both polarities. The other reason they pull off this hoax is to give humans a fake “truth” so they don’t feel the need to search for the real truth. It is an enormous organization/enterprise and has been in place for thousands of years. It’s not only reptilians doing this though, they have hired humans to help them.

All aliens with human-like faces apparently do not exist and were made up to use as a cover for real aliens. Channelings from pleidians, arcturians, sirians, etc. are actually just from the human employees using technology to communicate. The same goes for angels, god, and spirit guides. This is a massive organization so they have enough people to do this. Even karma/ the principle of “you give back what you give” is apparently an energy they project onto people to encourage good deeds and punish bad deeds, again to polarize humanity towards positivity. Even things like synchronicities (Such as seeing repeating numbers, 111, 222, 333, etc.) are created through their technology, as well as divination (Tarot cards and whatnot.) If you are thinking that there’s no way they could have technology so advanced that it could interface with reality in this way, consider that their species is millions of years older than ours. The tech they have would be unimaginable to us.

This person says that his spirit guides are being unnecessarily hostile towards him and are orchestrating events in his life for bad outcomes because he realized that they are just human employees pretending to be spirit guides. He says that they do this whenever he does something they don’t like. I worry that they may actually be trying to drive him to commit suicide because he is spreading this information. Here are some quotes from him to paint a better picture.

“The moment I do something they don't like, I get sick, get assaulted by a stranger, threatened by someone, or just events fall together in a way that embarass me.”

“I know that their treatment would stop if I got all rainbow pleyadian and high vibrational, but since I know this is just a societal engineering program, can we agree to just being NEUTRALLY DIPLOMATIC?”

“We'll you'd be forced to care if they would aggressively interfere into your life. For example you go on to pay for a bus ticket and suddenly your credit card refuses to work, or the person handling tickets starts yelling at you for no reason. And so on for days and months”

“No you don't get it, its always perfect timing, always in sync with my thoughts, always preceded by a sign and a warning. It's fucking staged alright”

“It is an outside source that pays attention to how I am behaving and stages the events accordingly in an attempt to make me believe it is actually generated by me and everything is a reflection of my own self. Works well for billions of people. I know they have a policy of projecting back to people what they send out, and I don't expect to be exempt from it, but the way shit is returning my way is hella unequal to what I am "putting forth". Whatever I guess”

Essentially, nobody is actually the creator of their circumstances and reality, they just make it appear that way. This person even said that he didn’t choose to be born on earth but was forced to come here after trying to escape.

This person has been apart of that server for a long time and is a fairly level headed person who is not a troll. The day that I really dove into reading these things, I hardly ate and became suicidal. I’ve never even been suicical before. It’s been weeks and my appetite still hasn’t gone back to normal. I was sent into a horrible OCD attack. I wanted to just stop existing, no moving onto an afterlife or anything.

I’m just plain terrified and hopeless, I am stuck in a lose-lose situation. If I just try to convince myself that all of this is bullshit and just try to move on with life as normal, I’ll still have it nagging in the back of my mind, and it would ruin any enjoyment and wonder of spiritual experiences or practicing spiritual abilities. Before this I was excited to learn how to channel, do divination, and so much more, but the idea that I would be interacting with an artificial construct and not an inherent part of the universe is completely soul crushing. I can’t even call out to spirit guides or god for help. I saw these things as such a large part of my future path in life. I’m only fucking 20 and I felt like I had my whole life ahead of me. Now nothing has any meaning anymore. Some days I wake up thinking about this first thing. I’ve started sleeping a lot more but I always wake up again back into the same hell.

A couple years ago I discovered the series “conversations with god” by Neale Donald Walsch and it changed my entire outlook on life. Before that I had a little bit of belief in spirituality but it didn’t 100% make sense until I came upon those books. Then it all seemed to “click” in a way that nothing ever had. I felt like nothing would ever be the same again, I felt amazing. I started seeing synchronicities, mainly 111. But to think all of this is a social engineering program? I don’t want to exist if that’s the case. This was my fucking life. I figured that maybe if I died I could know for sure if this was true or not, but then I realized that they probably have some kind of monopoly over the afterlife too. I had heard talk about the “reincarnation trap” run by draconians where they pull you into reincarnating on earth again by showing you a tunnel of light and images of your loved ones, and before I didn’t take it seriously at all, but now it seems like there might be truth to that. I would just get false reassurance and be forced back into the same hell.

The only thing keeping me alive is the dim hope that he’s wrong about a lot of this, and the fact that I don’t want to hurt my friends, family, and boyfriend by leaving them. I don’t think posting this will do any good and I might even be putting myself in danger by spreading this information. I’m just so fucking alone and I needed somebody else to know about this even if they are a stranger.

Yo, happy Thursday (or whatever day it is for you right now)!

This is an open invitation.

If you seek advice, support, assistance, outside perspective, understanding, or whatever about the nature of the human condition, or your journey through a society and world running amok, hit me up. I've got you.

I have over a decade's worth of experience as a Societal/Environmental Geographer. That means I study the way people interact with themselves, others, and their environment. My research examines every sector of the global economy and focuses on the psychology and sociology of human beings as a species. This has given me the tools to understand the natural order of our reality on a deep, deep level, and I want to share this information with you. Yes, YOU there reading this right now.

I deliver the TRUTH.

I don't deal with opinions. I don't deal with theory. I don't deal with lies. I deal with documentable, undeniable, cold, hard, objective facts. No shit talk. I put up, and I prove. I show and tell. I reveal.

My words target negativity like cruise missiles — unfiltered, unbiased, unapologetic. I'll help you blow that shit to smithereens.

Yes, sometimes the truth is a hard (red) pill to swallow. And yes, we live in a world where nobody wants to be wrong, and if you do speak the truth, people may call you a hater. I'm not afraid.

So, what are your pain points? I may have some pragmatic solutions that'll address the core of your problem(s). Even though we all have a different experience, all of our problems stem from the same few things.

Serious inquiries only. Message via DM or in the comments below, wherever you feel most secure.

-Anthony

Hey, Im currently facing what I think may be a mental block at the worst time (I have some really important deadlines coming up that decide whether I can carry on at university). Im 20 and want to carry on to do further study at uni but if I don't get the grades this year I could get kicked out instead. But no matter how much I want to do the work I feel like I'm just not doing it even though I know I can and I feel I'm having a crisis. I'm living alone over the summer to resit part of my course and I feel like I’m going crazy over my thoughts that my actions aren’t me and I don’t know who I am anymore. I’ve let my body take control of me for so long, I feel like I ran away from myself (like Peter pans shadow or something) and now I’m lost and instead my awareness is just floating around inside my skin and it’s trapped inside the mask that the world sees. I want to move but my body won’t let me. I see other people moving and I wonder if they do it willingly or whether their bodies have determined it for them.

To better explain this because I know it probably doesn't make much sense; Imagine driving a car but you’ve lost all controls and now its driving you. Or you are flying a plane and then suddenly you realise it’s been on autopilot the whole time. Am I going crazy? or does everyone feel this? or am I just running away from my problems ? I've struggled with my mental health for a long time and tried to get help many times but therapy hasn't worked and I'm scared to take medication so I've just tried to ignore it but now when I do think about things like this I start to feel really nauseous and have to vomit and I've noticed that my hair has started to fall out at an alarming rate. I've also tried talking to my friends and family about it and no one understands and they just get frustrated with me but if anyone can give me some advice I would appreciate it so much but anyway thank you for listening to me ramble.

Join me on this weird adventure. What if Hitler was accepted to art school?

And to really make it interesting, what effect would it have on today?

Disclamer: I'm just having fun with aleternate realities, and I'd love to hear y'all's responses.

Hi, welp looks like my existential crisis randomly peaked again, im so scared of everything especially growing up. Maybe its because my graduation date is in less then a week but im so scared. Ive lived a comfortable life and I genuinely cant think of me being alive as an adult. Idk what im even saying I just have a constant feeling of dread within me. Im scared of dying, im scared of my mom dying, im scared of growing up, im scared of everything and I dont want to live like this I cant live like this. I want to look forward to the future not dread every waking moment I have. I want to be happy. Id do so much just to feel like I once did months ago. Does anyone have any advice. Also are any adults here happy? Was it hard to grow up. Im sure my troubles are not mine alone im sure alot of you feel this too. Want to talk? I feel kinda alone haha sorry my mind is racing right now so I am jumping topics real quick... sorry im just so scared, especially because my mom has been sick for awhile.

Only those who won the birth of lottery ( not to mention the prior evolutionary lottery that allowed our species to exist) are saddled with the misfortune of death. Assuming there is no afterlife, we shall eventually return to nothingness. This misfortune is substantially more palatable when it is balanced against the weight of the good fortune that is it's prerequisite. So just enjoy it while it lasts!🙏🙌

hey existential friends-

I discovered energy healing after an extremely dark several years in my life. I have had immense grief, anxiety and low self worth, resulting in self-sabotaging behavior, addiction and shitty relationships.

In the last 5 years, I’ve healed immensely by doing deep internal work: inner child and shadow work with an energy healer, letting go of developmental energetic blocks and radically shifting my mindset. I had undeniable results with a dedicated practice of meditation, breath work and energy work/ reiki. I heard an autoimmune disease without prescription, became completely sober, and completely turned my life around.

I just wanted to share my experience so others know it’s possible. It’s possible to de-loop negative thought processes and set yourself back on course. it takes time and dedication. would be happy to share more

This doesn't mean killing off humanity, it means a collective realization and commitment to peacefully die out as a species because of all the horrors that have been a consequence of our existence and all the horrors to come. We are the only creatures capable of such a choice, which of course will never happen. But it is the only answer if the question is how to end suffering. There will always be child-rapists and every other horrific type of human being imaginable and I don't believe that the good times in my life are worth a world that inevitably includes that as well, as likely you do not either. So I'll be the change I want to see and not create any children. I won't kill myself out of despair at this monstrous and meaningless existence, but I will live it out in speaking loudly to the truth that all religion is intellectually atavistic and that anyone saying 'everything happens for a reason' should be included among the garbage heap of thought.

I dont understand why instead of having fun in my youth, the only youth ill ever be able to experience Im in this shitty situation only able to fear and to dread every passing moment. I Just want to be able to live, I cant I dont know if i ever will be able too, I thought this would pass over but now I doubt id ever be able to return to normal. I want to be excited for the future im graduating this year and ouch am I totally not ready. I used to be so excited now I dont even want to mention graduating. I dont really want to run away from this feeling either. If i dont face it now itll haunt me later in life even worse and even fiercer than it is now. I am scared I dont want to die I want to experience life but no I am scared. Im scared of everything. My loved ones myself, death is the fear ill never escape. I dont know anymore. I really feel scared. I want to be normal. Its been 3 weeks and each day is progressively worse. It reached a peak a week ago, but now its perpetually there. I feel it at all times I cant escape this fear. I want help I need help but i cant get help. I cant i cant idk man aaaaa, im so scared I want to be not scared. Every night im crying scared to die. Every day i live like a puppet only being okay for my friends, fake it till you make it doesnt apply in this situation i suppose. I only have one mom and idk i cant i have no idea. I have no siblings so im always alone idk i feel so bad. And recently my mom bought me a new phone I know she doesnt have much money and everytime i use rhat phone and look at it i feel super bad and I just cant bear to feel happy. Whenever i look at it it reminds me of her love and im so happy for her love but ut also reminds me that one day i wont be able to talk to her anymore im scared guys. Im scared and i want to let it out somewhere.if i had a choice to forget these things id be happy to live ignorantly without thinking about this till i die. I dont want to die i want mt mom i want my mom forever... idk im just spilling my thoughts out. Thanks for reading if youve read this.

Where do you think you/your conscious was before you were born?

A CONVERSATION BETWEEN COPERNICUS & HIS DISCIPLE:: -Copernicus::Why does everyone think that Sun revolves around Earth? -Disciple::Well, It's obvious. What is there to think about? We stand on the ground and the sun moves from east to west. -Copernicus::Ok, How would it look if the Earth revolved around the Sun? ------END OF CONVERSATION------

The DISCIPLE realized his error.

If you followed the conversation closely, you will see that even though the Earth revolves around the Sun-- It looked like the EXACT OPPOSITE. The people at the time weren't able to realize that fact.

So maybe, just like the DISCIPLE in the story above, We can't yet realize that there is Meaning to Life. it just looks the opposite (for now). We Just have to hope this is the case with Existentialism. Don't just dismiss it. Because hope is Powerful. It transcends all Limitations of reality.

So I was perusing this sub out of interest and it struck me how most people basically don't have enough pieces to put together this jigsaw called life or existence.

I dont have this worry, i believe in a creator and that the world we see is his creation and everything we do in our lives will determine a final destination. Yes i believe in God. Im a a normal guy who has a family, a job, a house etc. Im reaching out to anyone who may want to discuss topics relating to God/existance to see if i can at least remove any internal suffering and provide a different angle of viewing life.

Thanks, that's it.

Im sure ill prob get stigmatised etc but i dont care. Even if 1 person wants a open discussion and is open minded ive achieved something good.

Apparently one of the tenants of an existential crisis is related to work. Well at the begging of the year I had what I thought was a heart attack. It was very relaxing strangely enough. This caused the crisis. (Why try and have meaning and live if such a great feeling is waiting?). But after that I have had this massive urge to work in the entertainment industry like really bad. I have no idea why. And the fact that Patton Oswald is there is making it worse for some reason. Idk I just needed to vent.

Here’s an album for you… Existential Risk by LOSTBOYEVSKY https://open.spotify.com/album/7KAiS9egWywlviFPAvUnAG?si=v9nEVbJHTP6Cc0HH9l_ucQ

The world will end one day and everything we've worked for will be reduced to nothing, the only reason I've ever really found to actually live is to make the most of it, enjoy it, stop hating and actually live. Doing what you love, you know. But now, because of Covid, we can't even do that. I live in the UK, and the government is thinking about putting us in another lockdown which will affect a bunch of holidays and essentially ruin relationships between people, and it's all because they cared more about jumpstarting the economy than they do about containing the virus.

All my friends, including my girlfriend, have moved away for uni and I'm stuck at home in a shitty little town that has nothing to do at the best of times, but with nobody around, it's worse. I can deal with that, if I can go up to the city to see people, but I won't be able to if lockdown happens again, much like other people. It just feels like we're never gonna learn, never gonna get rid of this shit, and we're gonna be trapped in this cycle for way too long.

I honestly don't see the point, I just want freedom, man. Living in the country, I assumed that would be easier, but… no

Hey, I don't really believe in things like therapy and stuff but I need somewhere to dump my thoughts.

I was diagnosed with depression about 2 months ago, took medication but it made me feel I'll so I stopped taking it after about 2 weeks. I'm desperately trying to claw my way out of it.

Currently I'm in a dead end job, I only recently left college and am feeling signs of regret based around my choices during my final years of education. I think I know what I want to do but I cannot be certain and don't want to take a leap of faith to find I don't like what I have chosen.

I am currently single and am unsure of whether I actually want a relationship or not, I'm pretty rubbish at dating. But I can't help but feel lonely even though I have friends I speak to every day.

I am trying to occupy myself with a hobby, but I give up a couple days after starting due to a lack of motivation.

Any advice would be nice. Thanks.

Hi i am looking into different religions becuace i don't belive at heart what my family belives and i heard about existentialism and dug into it and i am pretty sure this is the one but i wanted more information can anyone help?

I'm 15, and turning 16 next month.

I live in south korea and I failed to get into a high school that I wanted to go. Korean high schools are divided into few categories, a normal public high school, and there are special high schools that are centered around languages, science/math, arts, etc depending on the school. I wanted to go to a language centered high school. It's not a private school, so the tuition is pretty moderate. Also, unlike other schools, they have school trips to different countries, lots of great programs, more freedom than the average Korean high school student.

But i failed. Not because I was too stupid for that school, but I suck at speaking because I have a stuttering problem and trouble making eye contact with people.... I tried to fix that but I failed the damn interview.

I had a few close friends that I prepared for the interview with, and after I failed the interview, I blocked their numbers. I didn't contact my English teacher who helped me, because I was terrified of letting him down. He was probably the best teacher I had..

I didn't go to school for 3 days, shut myself in my room and watched Netflix and scrolled through the internet mindlessly.

I feel lost now. Not exactly because I didn't get into the high school that I wanted. I feel like an asshole because I blocked my friends because I didn't want to hear them talking about them passing the interview. I feel like my efforts that I put into the interview are gone because of my stutter and inability to maintain human level eye contact.

I don't even know what I want to do with my life or who I am. I don't feel like myself anymore. I don't want to go to high school, and I'm questioning my existence.