Let's say contextually, you're having a conversation with someone of highlikelyhood to be narcissistic and also ESTJ at the same time.

How would they react, if you'd respectfully (within a personal discussion about psycholoy) ask:
"well, have you thought before wether youre a narcissist?"

Things my 13 y.o. cousin (he is an ESTJ) has said:

"Ebenezer Scrooge had a point about decreasing surplus populations."

"Smalltalk should be punishable by death."

"Let stupid and lazy people die from their own stupidity and laziness. Social darwinism takes no prisoners."

"Oh screw turning the other cheek. I say 'if some moron smacks you on one cheek,freaking SMASH his head in with an axe and spit on his corpse'. Self-preservation above all else,Nietzsche had the right idea."

"There really is nothing more satisfying than a loud attention seeking drama queen getting their mouth duct taped shut for the first time ever."

"My life motto is one very simple;leave me alone or I will kill you."

"Few things make my blood boil more than someone asking for help from me;I wanna be left alone in peace to do my own thing in the corner and not be distracted. Next time some lazy gossiper asks me for help for anything,my eyes will roll so hard to the back of my head I will get a thousand migraines at once."

"I just wish we could live in a world where everyone keeps to themselves and leaves each other alone,why is that so goddamn hard to understand?"

"Life isn't pain,some people just suck at it."

"I am pure misanthropy in physical form."

'I have an idea:let's create a new religion that basically says:'smart and capable people go to heaven,dumb and weak people go to hell,every man for himself,don't be a leech.'

'Honey badgers are a spirit animal.'

'Modern billionaires are stupid for flaunting their wealth. Any smart person would lock all that cash up in some underground base surrounded by death machines so NO ONE ELSE can even know they have that much money. Resources exist to be acquired and preserved,and that includes money.'

'Human parasites are worse than regular parasites. They don't just feed on your blood,but your mental energy and resources too! Just treat them the same way you would treat a regular parasite:cut them off and toss them on the floor to die.'

Etc.

Who said xSxJ types can't be funny,even if it is accidental? Smh

I am sorry if this comes across as rude. I understand why you would be offended at being asked the question.

But I have had too many difficult experiences, with my perceived experience of your:

1. refusal to try and see things from another's perspective.

2. the almost glee at trying to scold someone for their circumstance instead of even trying to understand how they got into that situation (before you apply what could be blame or fix or whatever)

3. dismissing something as "nonsense" when you know you don't even understand it (to know if it is nonsense or not)

4. when you do something bad to someone else, it's a "non issue" but when someone does something to you, you dwell.. so much so you bring it up years later... and keep bringing it up

So my question is, do you feel empathy (the imagined understanding of someone else's rationale or emotional circumstance)?

Note: I don't think it makes you evil to not be able to have empathy, it would be like being mad that it's cold outside and snowing.

You can still have sympathy and do what is right/have good intentions within your perspective, but *imagining* someone else circumstance might not be something you can do.

I apologize.

My fiancée and I are about to get married. She is having to leave her Job and relocate to be with me. (We were doing long distance) Because she was on a work visa she cannot find another job until the whole process is over. She is having a hard time giving up the job. She is looking for options but the only one would require significant travel and time apart. I explained we will be fine if she does not work. But she mentioned that she feels like she had a plan and wanted to be someone important and travel and do all these things and now her plan has changed. She wants to be with me but is stressed about the money and quitting, especially in this economy. I have tried to comfort her and show her we will be okay financially but she is still having a hard time. I often feel like we are opposites. She wants to be a director and be rich. And I feel like I am a little more grounded and dont need to prove my value or worth to someone. I dont need to be rich, I am not doing bad, but I just dont care about money. How do I help her, or are we really just driven in two different directions for goals? And what questions could I ask to help navigate what shes feeling?

I have deep-rooted hatred towards you, vice versa.

You hate these types of posts.

Okay so, from ISTJ, to INTJ, to ENTJ, to ESTJ (recently) and now ENTP.

After taking a few tests that others have recommended me.

Sad to say that It was nice knowing you guys for a short 24 hours meeting

So now I am ENTP

The only conversations my ESTJ has with me is ONLY about these odd superficial perceptions(talking about women’s bodies attractiveness and his preferences)micromanagement and how I’m allowed to spend my time in a “suggestive way” he never asks me questions or wants to talk geopolitics with me etc also about how women don’t hold accountability and gets upset just a lot of grievances towards women and people of other races. All in all to be in this waddling self pity of a martyr complex of a man that just has the whole world on his shoulders and a chip. Any minor inconvenience he’s after me to hold myself accountable as the reason to blame for the inconvenience. There’s no intimate conversations or bonding time. It’s as if he I’m just a cog to his ultimate plan and he can just skip over the foundations that build a well rounded relationship.

it seems that every time I talk to an ESTJ we butt heads. I'm not sure where this golden ISTP pair comes from because it seems like I'm always walking on eggshells.

I'm aware not all of you are like this but it's one way to get your attention 😉

please shed some light on me, defend your honor and give me hope 🙏

Got """distracted""" from my Te duties at work by this pink alien looking flower and fell in love with all the rest of the pwetty flowers

I MEAN IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT THESE FLOWERS ARE PWETTY

Also I'm fr not getting paid enough in this economy. Flowers.

Features that we clashed on:

- She's super controlling, tried to put up a schedule for everything for me, 30 mins phone use when I was a teen, a lot of lessons for various classes

- Super perfectionist, demanded I do everything the "best to my abilities" and passed something off that I've done that wasn't great as not putting enough effort.

- Bulldozes over other people's emotions, struggles to understand them.

- Extremely guilt tripping, tried to scold me on how much money she spent on me etc

- Prefers logic in everything and will laugh at you if you dont support yourself with facts etc

- Keeps reminding me of the not so great things I've done in the past which is like reopening a wound

- Either you do it her way, or she's gonna just opt out of the entire thing

However, on the contrary ,

- She's super great at organizing things and making out sustainable plans amid chaos

- She knows how to deal with people efficiently and make like the best deal

- Extremely detail focused and will often notice when something is out of hand

- She says one thing, but she does another. She may say hard things but her actions often do mean well, although that doesn't fare too well with me sometimes cos I take it personally

ESTJs in the community, may I know how you operate? I know not all ESTJs are like my mother, but I would want to make effort in how their mind works because right now my project leader is also one and its driving me nuts

From ISTJ to INTJ to ENTJ and now I transform into ESTJ-level upgrade

By taking that 16personalities test thing, every year. It keeps changing. So now it's ESTJ.

I'll stay here and see if I fit in

ESTJ Free Insights - From My Personality Test

ESTJ Strengths

ESTJs are loved by almost everyone they meet. They have their own brand of humor, and others are drawn to their charisma. They love to be the center of attention. They always try to be straight-forward with others — a trait that others often appreciate — and rarely sugar-coat things. ESTJs value security and stability, and expect others to follow through on their responsibilities. They hold themselves and others to high moral standards.

ESTJs are very strategic and are great problem-solvers. They are very resourceful and are able to adapt easily when necessary. They are able to think critically and logically when making decisions, rarely letting their emotions cloud their judgment. When confronted with a problem, ESTJs try to use the information available to make the best decision, hoping for the best. They place a great deal of trust their own judgement, which is based solely off of unbiased logic and reasoning. They have little tolerance for intuitive judgments. Rather, they prefer to evaluate the information available to them and make a decision quickly.

ESTJs feel a strong sense of duty. They feel a strong sense of civic duty, and likely vote in every election and seek out opportunities to improve the community.

ESTJs have initiative, and others often describe them as “doers”. They are very competitive, and are always pushing themselves to be the best. This helps them become very successful in life, particularly in their careers. Others view them as reliable, trustworthy, honest, and likeable.

ESTJ Weaknesses

ESTJs always stick to their beliefs and values. They trust their own judgement above all others, even when they are wrong. Because of this ESTJs can be inflexible and stubborn. Others may see ESTJs are too forceful in their decisions.

Because ESTJs are so idealistic when it comes to their values, they may be unaccepting or judgmental towards others who do not share those values. They may seek out friends who are like themselves, and/or try fruitlessly to change others.

Because ESTJs are so focused on logic and reason, it may be challenging for them to deal with emotions. They have trouble expressing their emotions, as well as feeling empathy for others.

ESTJs thrive on structure and routine, and may have difficulty in new or unusual situations. They place a great deal of value on tradition, and change can make them very uncomfortable. ESTJs would much rather stick with a tried-and-true method, rather than a new idea that may not work.

ESTJ Parenthood

ESTJs are very family-oriented and take their responsibilities as parents very seriously. Ultimately, they want their children to grow up to be responsible and hard-working adults like themselves. ESTJs’ home environment is very organized, and their children are expected to follow the rules. They expect their children to help with chores around the house and do their best academically.

As much as they want their children to develop a sense of responsibility, ESTJs also want their children to develop strong ideals and values. They always do their best to instill their own values and sense of responsibility in their children. Their hope is that their children will become strong-willed adults who stand up for what they believe in.

ESTJ Romantic Relationships

ESTJs value their romantic relationships highly, and are looking for a long-term commitment. They want a partner whom they can find stability and security in — any partner who is unpredictable is not well-suited for an ESTJ. ESTJs will do whatever it takes to help their relationships succeed, and will put a tremendous amount of time and effort towards developing a deep, meaningful bond with their significant other.

ESTJs may have trouble being in-tune with their partner’s emotions. If their romantic partner is an “F” (feeling) personality type, this can be especially problematic. To overcome this, the F type partner must express their emotions directly with their ESTJ partner, rather than just holding them inside.

ESTJ Friendships

To an ESTJ, friends are secondary to their family. Others are often drawn to ESTJs outgoing and enthusiastic nature, and they are usually well-liked by others. ESTJs generally seek out friends who are like themselves — someone who is dependable and smart, and shares the same interests and values as themselves. Their friendships center on trust and loyalty. Friends of ESTJs never have to worry about an ESTJ betraying them.

ESTJs are very aware of their own and others’ social status. They are drawn to others who are well-liked, successful, and respected. However, ESTJs heightened awareness of social status can sometimes become overly-concerned with their social status. They may become preoccupied with getting others to like them.

ESTJ Work Habits

ESTJs are very organized. They have no trouble prioritizing various tasks each day, and enjoy the sense of accomplishment they get from checking everything off of their daily list. Seeing the tangible outcomes of their accomplishments is very rewarding and motivating for ESTJs.

ESTJs get along well with others in the workplace. They are often others’ “go-to” people when something needs to be accomplished. Others can always be certain ESTJs will follow through on any assigned projects.

ESTJ Career Paths

ESTJs thrive in an environment centered around routine and rules. Because of this, they may be likely to seek out careers that allow them to enforce these rules. ESTJs often work in law or government.

In addition, ESTJs are often good at a variety of things because they believe they can achieve anything they set their minds to. ESTJs are often well-suited for careers as military personnel, managers, police officers, detectives, judges, teachers, sales associates, and financial officers.

Get additional 20+ pages of an in depth analysis of your personality type

Coupon 5VaEr76qD3Gb or follow 40% Off on Advanced Insights | Pemium Profile

I’m an ESTJ female married to an ISFP male and it’s making me insane,

My husband is an ISFP. I probably shouldn’t be writing this now, because I’m so mad and annoyed by him. Being married to one is like having a dramatic teenager. For instance, most people when they have to get up really early, they go to bed earlier. Not you guys. You could have to be up 5 hours later. I have to force my husband with a fight to go bed like a kid. He lost his phone and wallet again. Now, we all lose things at times. Sometimes twice. However, when us ESTJ’s do, we learn from it, keep up with it better or at least strive to. Not you ISFP’s. You’ll suffer a consequence over and over and over again and I’m not talking with just losing stuff. Then your S.O. has to pick up the pieces. You guys are so sensitive and stubborn. Almost worse than a woman. I said something horrible. To a normal person it would be obvious that I didn’t know what I was saying. If not, most people you could explain and it would be okay. Not with you ISFP’s. You will take it to the grave and think that we hate you no matter what it looks like or what we says. I know that us ESTJ’s can be absolute bitches and hard to live with as well, especially if you are ruining our world and surroundings or we think you are on the way to doing so. Nevertheless, this isn’t a post to say we have no faults. We have plenty, if not more than you do. I actually fell in love with my husband, because he is what I’m not. A very sensitive, kind, and caring soul, but my God! When my husband lets me and isn’t proud, I also have to plan everything for him that an 8 year old could plan on their own, which I’m happy to do. Sometimes that can be a fight because of his stupid pride. When he doesn’t plan, he’ll realize that he has to do a report at 11 when he has to get up a 5 for example. Now to go over you guy’s good traits would be a whole separate post. We ESTJ’s are too inflexible and too controlling. In order for us to stay married to ISFP’s, we have to get better with that or we would all go insane. Are we a terrible match? Probably. Either way, my husband and I have been together for 11 years and married for almost 8. Im not going to leave. Although we want to kill each other daily, we need and love each other. For those married or dating an ISFP who are not like them at all, is any of this relatable. I really just needed to vent and not feel alone. Thanks so much in advance for any input.