TW: Violent description, Self-harm

Pretty much what the title says. The smallest things would always set me off, and I have always had the tendency to see red before I could even think it through.

Many times I have lashed out at my peers and parents for the smallest jokes that they make, or even during games. I know that the anger is mostly at myself, but many times I have the worst habit on complaining and shouting at them, before realising it was too late. I am sick and tired of apologising to my friends because they have always been patient with me, but I do not want to feel like the "person who ruins the vibes".

Recently, I have been trying to withhold my anger, but because most of my energy goes to holding back my anger, I stay quiet. And that also makes my friends and parents feel frustrated and annoyed, because it is a sign that I am angry. After leaving, I cannot calm down, so I self-harm and cut. Sometimes, I punch myself in the head. Or peel off skin from my finger. Running into walls. Or just mainly cut, honestly. Around my arm, specifically. Enough to feel at ease, and feel much better about myself. And it's ugly to look at the scars after. I feel trapped, I want to try to be better, but it seems like there's no escape out of this. I have been considering cutting contact with my friends in order to ease them of this burden, and let them have a more harmonious friend group, rather than a toxic one with me in it. But at the same time, I truly love them a lot. I know self-harming is not the answer, but what else can I do?

Meditating is one, but it is hard to meditate during games, or during physical meetings because all I can truly feel at that moment is anger. I don't want to give up games because I truly enjoy playing with friends too.

I know I expect a lot from myself, and expect myself to excel at things a lot. I think that's where my anger honestly comes from, especially when a joke towards me feels like an attack, or I feel like a massive burden to anyone. I don't want to get babysitted and cooed by anyone anymore. But it is hard to keep my anger down. I am unsure if anyone is going through this as well? What did you do to change?

If there is no advice, that is okay. It can be a throw-away vent. Thank you for listening.

Why....why all of this. I've been dealing with some health issues that has caused me to take a break from school since last year (I'm 20 and go to community college), non one really understands it and it feels like a lot of people aren't taking it seriously or listening to me. My niece (a few years younger than me) made some stupid decisions that are bothering me, I have no social like pretty much atm (kind of my fault, kinda not), I'm so lonely, no one gaf really because if they did things would be different, my aunt just got diagnosed with cancer, my mom just got a ultrasound of her heart and they said that they couldn't really see the right side of her heart during it but they seen the left side and said basically that it looks like it is working overtime and not looking as good as it should I guess, etc, more things I didn't mention, I'm so mad at everything and everyone, I'm so sad at everything and with everyone, I'm so hurt/upset with everyone and everything, I'm not close with my family and do t really talk to them much nowadays even though I live with some of them and they are all my immediate family (kinda my fault, kinda not). I want things to be better, I wish things were different, I didn't want this, why, why, why. When will things be better, and I'll be happy and happy and so will my loved ones. Man. I argue with my mom too sometimes but I really love her, I really do and I want her to be good, so I'm praying for her a lot, please.

I've been talking to this girl I matched with on Bumble for a couple weeks. She seemed nice and told me she was looking forward to meeting with me and the first time I called her a couple weeks ago she texted me after saying "Thanks for chatting with me :)"

We planned on meeting up at a public park at 5pm. I texted her a bit before "see you soon!" And got no response. At this point I had a gut feeling she would stand me up and I was right. I got to the park and waited several mins after 5 with no response before I decided to call her. Sure enough it went immediately to voicemail meaning she blocked me and she also unmatched on Bumble and now I'm pissed. Just yesterday she said she was looking forward to our meet.

I don't underatand why this shit happens to me. I didn't say anything wrong to her and she expressed genuine interest in me. I'm kind, respectful, and I show genuine interest in getting to know people, and I don't say anything disrespectful or sexual. It makes me so mad that she was perfectly okay with letting me go all the way to the park when she knew she wasn't going to be there. It's disrespectful, immature, cowardly, and inconsiderate. I could never bring myself to do this to another person. Even if they said something I didn't like I would let them know, because I value communication and respect. Not only is a rude thing to but it prevents me from getting closure. It really sucks when you build a rapport with someone and then all if a sudden they cut you out of their life like you are worthless and leaves you sitting there wondering if you did something wrong or if there is something wrong with you. It's just wrong to do that to someone. It hurts especially when they seem like the kind of person who values true connection. Like she does, just not with me. And she'll go complain to her friends about how modern dating is frustrating and where are all the good men?

This shit makes me spiral but I'm going to try and not let it upset me. I enjoy going to the park anyway so I knew I could just walk around and be in nature anyway.

My dad has always been angry about something. Whether it was because he thought he was right when others disagreed with him, because something was out of his control, or for all sorts of other reasons, he always seemed to find something to get angry about.

I've always hated that side of him, and I still do. But lately, I've started noticing similar behavior in myself. Maybe because I hate the way he acts, I don't express my anger by yelling loudly like he does. Instead, I tend to get irritated and snap at people.

What's worse is that until just a few years ago, I genuinely believed my anger was pretty justified.

But looking back now, I feel like I've been getting angry for really selfish reasons.

I honestly don't know how to break this habit of getting angry all the time.

I'm a minor, so I think I am more prone to blowing up than someone who's properly matured. (I also cry a lot when I'm mad, I think I'm just very emotional lol)

I blow up on my friends a lot. Usually about money or school because I've been raised to appreciate the value of a dollar and believe getting anything under a 70% is absolute failure.

I don't WANT to blow up on them, it just seems to happen before I can control it. It also seems to overtake my sympathy for them if we're having a serious discussion.

How can I work on this? I'm scared that if this keeps happening they'll leave me, especially since one has said he already feels neglected by me since I started hanging out with one of my other friends more. (We try to invite him to stuff dw it's not like I'm ignoring him)

My anger is getting really really bad and I don't know how I'll get rid of it. I'm angry about being a failure, a nobody, total loser, but I don't know where to go or what to do to improve it. I've tried and failed twice to get a degree - just quit (reasons for quitting not that important here). I'm in my 30s and I don't think I have the brain power or motivation anymore to go back to school. I feel like I will be a piece of trash loser for the rest of my life. I don't see any way out of this. I just keep getting more and more angry and it'll probably keep getting worse. I'm in therapy and on medication but not really helping the anger.

I have a problem that is destroying my life. I hurt the people I love, intentionally or unintentionally. I don’t know how to control my words or my temper, especially when it comes to my mother. She has nothing to do with the problems I’m going through, yet I take my frustration out on her because she’s the only person who truly loves me.
I need to find a way to change. I’m emotionally exhausted. My mother is such a kind, loving, forgiving, and patient woman. It breaks my heart every time I treat her badly. She doesn’t deserve any of it, and I hate that I keep hurting the person who has always loved me unconditionally

I don’t know why but at this point and time of my life I’m just such an angry person everything makes me mad and I’m so full of hate but I’m not mad at anyone or hate anyone so I don’t know why every day I feel like this and I don’t know what to do about it I have no idea why I’m so filled with anger and hate

How do I deal with all this anger inside? I was recently robbed in my own home and go my integrity sullied cause they got the phone password, as well as changed passwords and took weird pictures of themselves to put me down. Also my family didn’t support me at all and even blamed me for what happened or pushed me aside.

The day before my brother blocked me cause I said that he sleeps all day. As well as a person I talked with on instagram blocked me cause I didn’t text her and give her enough attention just after getting robbed.

Literally all I do is spew hate on instagram or Reddit and make others feel bad, cause I’m hurt.

How do I stop this? Why is anger so easy to use when you hurt inside?

I am one of those guys who sits alone quietly and doesn't get involved in the wrong stuff.One of my professors bullies me daily because of ego issues. He throws me out of class and lab for no reason and shouts on top of his voice and stands so close that I get scared. I get panic attacks when he does that . He won't give me attendance and because of that maybe I won't be allowed to sit in the sem end exams. I am too scared to attend his classes and I am not able to sleep because of stress .

Once I was so scared and enraged at the same time that I just ran away from college and was riding my bike at high speed crying on top of my voice . I came home and told my mom that I won't be able to complete my course . I am suicid\*l and sometimes I feel that I should atleast slap or punch him or bare minimum just answer him back or shout back at him .

It's been 3 months since he is mentally harassing me and this professor would be there for next semester too.

I have heard that this professor is the son in law of the local mla and got his govt job through connections.

So
I find myself really angry and annoyed almost everyday, 6/10 tym I just go to bed wishing I could throw things, or do some damage, sometimes to specific ppl.
I have never really lashed out at anyone, I don’t think I have even expressed my anger at all since I was like 5y/o, I know how emotionally exhausting it has been and I want to work on this, but how do u actually manage it in a healthy way?

I don't want to take my anger out on other people. I know everyone is struggling with their own issues and I want to be kind.

I think the main thing I'm angry about is being alive and not being allowed to leave. I have no will to live at all. I know people try to help with mental health support etc etc but none of it is actually helpful. It feels like if someone TRULY cared they would help me to die.

So I don't believe anyone out there actually cares and the natural human reaction to that is anger. I can't even be angry at my parents though because I hate that I was born but they didn't mean for me to suffer.

So I don't actually know WHY I feel angry or who I am angry with. I guess I'm angry at the fact I'm not allowed to die peacefully because I don't want to be here and it's made so difficult to achieve that and all the guilt tripping about ending your own life

I don't think I want to hurt anyone. I don't think other people are "bad" but just indifferent to my pain. I get it they don't owe me anything apart from maybe the people who are pro natalism who encourage everyone else to have babies...I think those are the people I am angry at because life is just suffering and they just encourage more of it and tell you it's a gift and it's not everything is horrible and I don't understand why they do that

I just feel I'm being kept a prisoner and I don't understand why and I find myself just feeling so hateful sometimes and I don't want to be like that it's not people I hate it's life and being told I am supposed to be grateful for it when I hate being alive. I hate being forced to live

I’m a kid with some real problems of controlling my anger. I’m not proud to say it but truly, I need some help or tips. I’m not normally an angry person, but when I do get angry it’s like I can’t stop. A few weeks ago my brother was acting up about his game so my sister took it. He started bashing his door. I pinned him to the ground (not hurting him) and held him until he stopped. That was until he started elbowing me. I got furious and threw him across the room by his shirt. He fell down and stayed there for a few seconds. I unironically thought I had knocked him out.
This next part happened just a little bit ago. I was downstairs in my room doing my homework, until I heard scuffling upstairs. One of my brothers (only 16, and 7 months younger than I am) had my other brother (14) in a choke. It’s important to note my brother constantly treats people like shit. Whether it be his family, people he doesn’t like, or even people he doesn’t really know, and I can’t stand it. When I saw him over my brother (14 years old and maybe 120 pounds) I was furious because he constantly picks on him and my even younger brother. I threw him off and started to scuffle with him until I had him in one. But he wanted to keep talking. I got even more angry. He came and shot to take me down, until we rolled around on the couch and ended up on the ground. I ended up holding him down on his back, u til the straw that broke the camels back. “Fuck you”. That’s all he had been saying. Disregarding everything I’m telling him he’s doing, acting like it’s no big deal.
I kicked him. Hard. Real hard. In the stomach/liver. He curled up trying to get the blood back into his brain, and he ended up puking. I had cleaned it up for him, but I’m really really afraid that I could’ve injured him with the amount of force.
I haven’t been able to sleep. I can’t stop thinking about how poorly I feel about my actions, but in the moment, it’s almost like I’m not even there. Like I’m not In my own body. My mom has seen it and said it too. If you guys have any real tips, like for real, they would be greatly appreciated. I’m really trying to do my best every single day to be a better person, and this is one of the biggest things I’ve ever dealt with since I was little.

Anything you have to say would be a good deal of help. Thank you guys.

Ugh, I am in one of those, and I am resisting the urge to act like a cross between a future mass shooter and Jaden Smith all over this site.

There was a man who was using a certain gym equipment in my gym, and he switched to the next gym equipment without cleaning the previous one, and he was really smelly, sweaty and dirty— the typical homeless-looking guy in a NYC Subway train. Since it was my last workout routine and I really needed to use his machine asap, I had to clean it with lots of alcohol and wipes, and guess what?! He starts verbally assaulting me— for 5 minutes! Probably because he was so sensitive about someone cleaning the equipment that he last used— that he thinks that I was trying to insult him for being full of pollutants— even though he really did stink and didn’t care to clean his equipment after using it?
Anyway and thankfully, I never heard the insults at all, because I was using my earbuds and listening to some Rock Workout Music on Spotify lol! However, hearing some distorted loud voices from his direction, briefly seeing him facing me with an infuriated expression (I had to look away immediately to avoid being intimidated), and him pointing and and trying to physically threaten me with his hands— made me just ignore and walk away from him— rather than be one of those folks who fall into those altercations and become the new gym rage trend on social media or the news due to a gym brawl. I work in finance, so I have a lot to lose from a bad publicity— than a guy who looks like a hooligan.

Anyway, I simply looked at the clock, kept ignoring him, and then I walked away. I then emailed and reported the exact time and place to the gym manager about the incident. He then saw that I was 100% innocent, and that the crazy guy was at 100% overreacting and violent— for a problem that was just virtually non-existent— which was me literally cleaning a gym equipment…

Anyway, his membership was revoked and he is now banned from the gym— which happens to be the cheapest or $27/month 24/7 gym network in NYC. Now he has to go to another 24/7 gym that is $100/month, or another $27 gym— but that’s not 24/7— all because he overreacted to someone cleaning his machine. And yeah, he wasn’t refunded his annual maintenance fee and the current month‘s fee.

He not only suffered emotional damage by me simply ignoring his existence and wasting all his energy/emotions/insults to me— but he also financially lost a lot for his gym ban; meanwhile, I get to preserve my self-respect, career, safety, etc.
This is why anger management matter a lot, never ever fall into the taunts of others; let the managers or authorities deal with it.

I know this isn't a rant sub so I'll only go into this as much as I need to. I work a call center job and I hate almost everyone I talk to(usually 50+ people a day). I usually don't have a lot of time between these calls to take a break or practice breathing techniques or anything else people usually recommend so the anger just builds and builds. I usually end up slamming on my desk and screaming multiple times a day when I work from home and when working in office Ive had to leave early which I obviously can't keep doing if I want to keep this job. Quitting is not an option because I have bills to pay.

What would you do in this situation? How am I supposed to manage anger if it's one trigger after another with no breaks?

I’m genuinely interested in hearing from men who have struggled with anger management.
How difficult is it for you to manage your anger, especially in situations where you feel overwhelmed, frustrated or emotionally triggered?
Have you reached a point where you recognised that your reactions were becoming a problem and decided to work on them? If so, what actually helped?
I’m not asking about what other people do to make you angry, or looking to place blame on anyone else. I’m interested in the internal side of it: recognising your reactions, controlling impulses, communicating without escalating, and taking responsibility for your behaviour.
Did therapy help? Did you develop specific habits or techniques? Did it take years of practice?
I’d particularly appreciate hearing from men who have genuinely worked on this and can share what made a difference, including what didn’t work.
No judgement. I’m trying to understand what this experience is like from the inside and what real progress looks like.

I hate my job. I hate the commute. I wanna quit but I just started. I hate the more concerned about what everyone thinks of me if I just quit instead of just doing what’s best for me. I’m 35 and I’m full of anger I don’t know how much longer I can take this. Being a woman I know my time clock is ticking to have a child. I think with this mind set and former trauma isn’t gonna help me be a good mom. I went to therapy they literally just go and print something off the computer and charge me $65 or something I can look up on Google.i hate this world. Any advice I need help

I broke up with my boyfriend of almost a year about three months ago now. He disrespected me in ways you could never imagine. At least not coming from someone who's supposed to be your lover. Not only this, but his family, more specifically his cousin, did the same. They called me a disgusting ***** multiple times and his cousin threatened to come to my house and b=at me bl==dy. All because I was out with my friends. My boyfriend did the same thing, but a few weeks before that. It's a lot to explain but you get the story. My boyfriend never apologized or defended me, but defended HIS COUSIN after this, saying "she's gone through a lot and is in debt". After the breakup, the disrespect didn't stop, his sister messaged me telling me to stop calling him (I drunk called him once) and called me a whore. Mind you, he messaged me after the breakup calling me a disgusting **** for multiple hours and called me on no caller id about 150 times.

This was only a fraction of what him and his family did, so you can imagine the rest.

I never clapped back or disrespected any of them in the same way they did as I saw no point in doing so. But I probably should have. Despite it being three months ago, I can't even see a pic of any of them without feeling this intense feeling of hatred and resentment. I can't fathom how people like them exist. I don't know what to do. I can't even explain what I'm feeling. I'm so angry that they get to live their lives happily knowing how badly they're treating people. The hatred is so strong I feel like I could go to therapy. I can't really express it all on reddit but you understand. What do I do?

I broke up with my boyfriend of almost a year about three months ago now. He disrespected me in ways you could never imagine. At least not coming from someone who's supposed to be your lover. Not only this, but his family, more specifically his cousin, did the same. They called me a disgusting ***** multiple times and his cousin threatened to come to my house and b=at me bl==dy. All because I was out with my friends. My boyfriend did the same thing, but a few weeks before that. It's a lot to explain but you get the story. My boyfriend never apologized or defended me, but defended HIS COUSIN after this, saying "she's gone through a lot and is in debt". After the breakup, the disrespect didn't stop, his sister messaged me telling me to stop calling him (I drunk called him once) and called me a whore. Mind you, he messaged me after the breakup calling me a disgusting **** for multiple hours and called me on no caller id about 150 times.

This was only a fraction of what him and his family did, so you can imagine the rest.

I never clapped back or disrespected any of them in the same way they did as I saw no point in doing so. But I probably should have. Despite it being three months ago, I can't even see a pic of any of them without feeling this intense feeling of hatred and resentment. I can't fathom how people like them exist. I don't know what to do. I can't even explain what I'm feeling. I'm so angry that they get to live their lives happily knowing how badly they're treating people. The hatred is so strong I feel like I could go to therapy. I can't really express it all on reddit but you understand. What do I do?

I feel like I need something to calm me down because I get irritated so easily, especially around my family. They're so toxic and constantly get on my nerves. I'm tired of fighting, arguing, screaming, and crying over every little clash. I just want something that makes me feel unbothered by everything. I'm trying to move out, but until then, I can't keep dealing with this. Are there any pills that could help me stay calm?

im very happy and calm at home, but the moment i step in school everything starts angering me. it doesnt happen just every now and then, but every single day ever since last spring. i kick and throw things, curse at random people and accidentally end up hurting myself because im filled with too much rage i take it out physically. the most common triggers for my anger are bright lights and other people coming to the only place i can be alone in during breaks. it has a negative impact on my grades because i skip classes due to being so angry. im trying to get help but im still in the waitline, so my only solution for now is to talk about it online. id love to do all kinds of things at home like study languages and play instruments, but the irritation has tired me out so much i dont have energy for anything.