I (22F) and my best friend (22F - we’ll call her Amy) have been best friends for over a decade. We see eachother all the time (multiple times a week) and we have an extremely close bond that other people always comment on. Seven months ago she got a new boyfriend (25M - we’ll call him Mark) who I like though I have only met him once and we are still very close. She makes time for me and doesn’t spend the whole time talking about him and in general it hasn’t changed a whole lot about our friendship.

Until yesterday.

We have always planned to move out together after college and I regularly show her Rightmove listings and apartment decor. Every time we are at IKEA (and we go a lot) we comment on how this or that would look good in the kitchen. It’s been a given that we will move out together. We talk about it to friends, family and coworkers. I have planned my finances around this move (I wouldn’t be able to move out alone and neither would she) and I have put a lot of planning into this.

When she started dating him I asked her whether she would still want to live together if she settled down at our age (she moves quite fast so wanted to gauge where she was at) and she told me point blank that she wanted to live with me, that that was always the plan and a relationship at our age wouldn’t change that. I thought we were on the same page.

Yesterday she was talking about him and mentioned that he said something about moving out. I was a little blindsided as they haven’t known one another long and the fact that she brought it up so casually caught me off guard. Had it been two years into their relationship I could’ve understood it and been happy/excited. I would’ve been willing to put aside our plans (if a little concerned about my own finances, though I could’ve kept that to myself fairly happily) but it’s the fact that she’s only known him for seven months and already just casually brought that up to me. I would’ve really appreciated a ‘I’m really sorry to change our plans but Mark and I have been talking about moving out’ and I would’ve felt much happier had that been the case but instead she said ‘mark is talking about us moving out together which is so scary because it’s such an adult decision’ and I found that really upsetting. She doesn’t owe me her twenties and I certainly don’t expect her to be beholden to what seems in hindsight to be a childish agreement, but the way she went about this struck me as sort of uncaring about my own feelings/plans.

I wanted to speak more about it on the phone/in person but she’s seeing him this evening and I would rather not ruin her whole evening over a conversation we could reschedule, but I plan to express myself as best as I can without making her feel guilty for my own feelings towards it.

I’m in two minds about it. On one hand I feel upset and betrayed particularly about how casual she was about the whole thing. On the flip side I feel bad for even caring.

I’m not asking whether she’s the asshole as I genuinely don’t think she is: she has a right and a duty to live her life the way she wants to live it. I guess I’m asking whether I’m the asshole for being upset or whether I’m being childish for even giving it a second thought?

(Sorry if my wording is akward but English isn't my first language)

So for context, I (20F) broke up with my now ex (21M) about a week ago. I cried the entire day and then the next day. The third day, I was talking to our friends, explaining why I broke up with him, and it hit me - wow, he was lowkey an asshole why am I still crying over him? And I stopped. Obviously, the breakup still hurts. I was in a relationship with him for a little over a year, and we had some good moments, but by the end of the relationship I was so done with his behavior he pissed me off just by talking. (this is when I realized that months of communicating I feel hurt and him ignoring it has led to non reversible resentment) I broke up with him when I started to feel that way. He wasn't villanously evil, (didn't cheat on me or beat me or stuff like that) but he had no respect for me, put zero effort into our relationship and was jealous af even tho I gave him no reason to be. The fact I loved him is not nearly enough to put up with all of this. Even his friends told me they saw it coming and were surprised I stayed this long. Anyway, yesterday I went to a bar with my friends to relieve the stress of the breakup. There was this girl who started talking to us as a group and then when they left to dance I talked to her alone. She's really pretty and charming, and she asked me out for coffee. I wouldn't get into another relationship just yet (way too soon) but I would like to get to meet her slowly. I feel like a horrible person because I just got out of this long relationship and should be devastated and not ready to even look at other people, but I'm just kinda relieved. Am I a horrible person and disrespecting my ex by doing this? Would I be the asshole if I went on a date with her??

I have been friends with this woman that’s 6years older than me (for context we are all in our 30s) for almost 3yrs now; I am married and she is not, but she’s been with her boyfriend for a little over 2years; she lives at his apartment but he pays all the bills there; he is very manipulative, a habitual cheat and just has a very foul mouth; they recently had a disagreement over the smallest of things and the man gave my friend an eviction notice; said the worst things to her, things you would only say to the devil I would think, he made fun of the fact that my friend has been trying to have a child for years but is unable and said he believes she is cursed; they spent 2months living in the same space but never talking and during this time he was sleeping around. They did make up one week ago but are on non-speaking terms again. I have told my friend several times to choose herself but she seems to interested in being a free hodder that she doesn’t see what this man is doing. Recently she gave me a call and was telling me about how the man is back to being nice and gave her gas money; I was beyond gagged and went like, “I know you love to make excuses for that man, but he is nothing but a horrible man and I am beyond tired of hearing you telling me about his goodness after all he has dragged you through.” My friend got angry and hang up the call, she has not spoken to me in 3 days, and to be honest, I am thinking of cutting her off. Oh! I forgot, she is also in some competition with the man’s family and they all hate her, they do not invite her to any family functions and she keeps saying they are the ones breaking her and the man apart; I feel like I am not in the right headspace to be burdening myself with emotional trauma each time she calls crying over what she has gone through. I feel so overwhelmed with it all and irritated, for lack of a better word; I almost feel like I am her emotional punching bag and am not getting anything out of this friendship; problem is I barely have any other friends as I am an immigrant. Does it make me a bad friend if I want to end this toxic friendship?

I’m 25F, and my partner is 35M. We’ve been together almost a year, and I’ve known him for 3 years. He’s always had a drinking problem, but within the span of a month, he’s been arrested twice for DUIs.

I love him, and he really is a sweet person, but I’m starting to worry about myself. He constantly drinks, spends at least $50 a week on alcohol, and sometimes ends up needing money from me or friends because he’s spent what he has. He also gets forgetful, changes plans, and sometimes isn’t sober enough to have a proper conversation.

He’s been drinking since he was around 12, and I understand he has mental health struggles and has been through a lot. But I don’t think alcohol should control his entire life. His own father has told him to slow down, and even his ex left him partly because of his drinking.
I’ve struggled with alcohol myself in the past, so watching someone I love go through this is difficult. I’ve tried talking to him, but he gets upset whenever anyone suggests he needs to stop. He also refuses therapy because he thinks all they’re going to do is talk.

I’m especially worried about getting in a car with him when he’s been drinking. I don’t want to end up arrested, hurt, or worse because of his decisions.
I don’t want to control him, but I also don’t want to spend my relationship constantly worrying, questioning things, or feeling confused. I love him, but how do you help someone who doesn’t seem ready to help themselves? And at what point do you choose your own peace over someone you love?

My company has a corporate pass for an amusement park. My friend, who is not an employee, recently asked me if I could help get the pass for them to use. I declined and gave an excuse saying it's fully booked.

While it is claimed nobody really checks/asks for employee pass during entry or anything, I really don't want to risk getting caught. Granted it's not like giving away financial data; probably not gonna get fired or what. But I just felt uncomfortable and honestly kinda irritated.. because this is the 2nd friend to ask me?? Am I really too goody goody to bend some rules? Is this normal? That people just go around sharing company perks to every outsider to help save a few bucks??

So long story short, I'm a 28 F. I've never told my mom, 48 F, about anything that happened in my life.

And I have 6 sisters. This started when I was a child and saw and heard my mother talking about anything related to us to ANYBODY. I'm not talking about simple things, but girls' stuff and privacy.

For example, every time I pissed at night, she would hit me (and this happened A Lot), and she would tell my dad, my GM, and my aunts and keep complaining about it.

Another example: once, she found out that a boy was talking to me, so she told my father, and he hit me and gave me a black eye.

So when I got my period at 12, I didn't tell her. After 6 months, she found out and hit me Again!

So from then on, I felt that I had lost it with her, and I haven't told her ANYTHING about me, not about my love life, life problems, work, or anything.

And the problem started when she noticed that my sisters were talking to her about these things (even though she would make fun of them and sometimes blackmail them WITH THEIR OWN SECRETS).

So she's been nagging me and telling me how UNAPPRECIATED I am, and how God will make me pay for being secretive.

But what she's missing is that this situation actually bothers ME more than it bothers her, because I literally can't talk to her about anything. I can't even ask her for advice or share things with her like my friends do with their mothers.

There was even a time when she found out I was about to start a new job with someone very famous. She became hostile about it. Even though I had already talked about it in front of her, she later came back and asked me what I was so happy about. I told her that she had already heard me talking about it, and she immediately became hostile again and called me an ungrateful daughter.

We're Arab/Levantine and living in our home country, so this makes her take advantage of the whole "respect your parents" thing.

As the title says.

I'm an avid gym goer and have had experience with multiple gyms and studios including public gyms, AF, etc

I've recently been on a gym trial with a gym that is on the very premium side (we're talking 200USD a MONTH) in my city.

Before i started the trial i visited the gym for a short lookaround and was attended to by Staff A. I had expressed that i was only there to have a look of the gym. Throughout the short tour, she was pretty friendly. The gym was also amazing for its facilities and i was getting rather interested. However towards the end of the tour, Staff A started to become rather pushy and kept asking if I would like to sign up on the spot despite me saying that i needed time to consider.

Went home thereafter, did my research, I learned that there was an ongoing 5-day FREE trial for November (which she did not mention to me at all while i was touring the gym). She did however give me her number to contact if i needed any assistance or was interested in going forward with the membership.

I of course **texted** her (this will be important down the line) indicating i was interested in the trial during office hours. She only replied the day after that she was on leave (understandable) and redirected me to her manager staff B.

During my 5-day trial, i was rather pleased with staff B as unlike staff A, she did not try to force upon me any packages and she even offered to help me book classes.

Understandably for such gyms, they definitely do earn commission for each client they manage to sign on so throughout I was "there" under Staff A even though staff A was barely there and was assisted by Staff B.

Now, here's where things get dedass. I have completed my trial and I can see myself enjoying the gym. Since I have been "under" staff A as she was my first point-of-contact in the gym, I texted her on Whatsapp to let her know I wanted to sign the contract.

I am a "Bethany" (not my name but you get the gist).

She replied "Hey Krishna, thanks for the message. When are u free to sign today?".

Awkward much? This was online where I had already been in contact with Staff A, and my name is evidently there in the chat from introducing myself over Whatsapp. I myself work in a line where i am customer facing and this was, in fact, my last straw.

The moment I received that message, I was done. Disrespectful much of Staff A? I had been in the vicinity, excited to sign with the gym. I visited the gym and asked the reception for staff B and making it explicitly clear i wanted to sign with staff B. I of course did not reply to Staff A because why would I?

Reception told me staff A was around, and probably unwittingly informed staff A that i was looking to sign with staff B (i did not provide my name throughout the time i was physically in store). Staff A however then seemed to catch on and then texted me on Whatsapp when I can meet to sign? I had already liaised with Staff B by then that i would like to sign the contract with her. I don't see why I need to reply Staff A.

Long story short, for a gym that is charging a premium, is it not reasonable to expect service standards? I cannot understand how Staff A managed to F up even a name and expect me to find her reliable. I however am cognisant of the fact that signing with this gym, i will probably see staff A around.

AITAH at all?

My husband and I have been married for seven years. I had wanted a child for a long time, but whenever the subject of seeing a doctor came up, my husband would claim that our childlessness was God’s will and that the problem was with me

I underwent medical testing four times, yet he refused to even take a simple test himself. He would always say, There’s nothing wrong with me. You’re the one who needs treatment

His family constantly taunted me, saying that a woman who cannot conceive ruins her husband’s life. Out of love for my husband, I remained silent, hoping that one day we would finally have a child.

Then, after seven years, my pregnancy test finally came back positive! I was beside myself with joy. I bought a cake to surprise my husband, but when I shared the news, he threw the cake onto the floor and shouted, You cheated on me ,This child isn't mine, I'm infertile !!!!!!

I was frozen in shock. I asked him, "What do you mean? I've spent seven years trying to have a child with you. How could I possibly have cheated on you?" He wouldn't listen and just stormed out of the house

The next day, his family arrived along with my own parents, and they all accused me of infidelity. My mil insulted me, claiming I was trying to pass off another man's child as her son's. Worst of all, my own parents didn't say a word in my defense

My husband even produced medical records proving he was infertile. At that point, I couldn't hold back anymore. I turned to his family and asked, Did you know from the beginning that your son was infertile? If you did, why did you let me suffer all these years ,Why did you keep calling me barren and blaming me for something you knew wasn't my fault?

I then told my husband I wanted him out of my house. Since the house belongs to me, I asked him to pack his things and leave. He gathered his belongings and walked out. Instead of supporting me, my own family started blaming me too

I've been crying for a week now Both families are insisting that we get a DNA test to prove the baby's paternity, but the doctor says it's too early to do that and that we need to wait a few more months

I know I haven't done anything wrong, but my own family says I've embarrassed everyone by kicking my husband out and arguing with his family. Meanwhile, his family continues to insult me.

I'm truly exhausted. My husband refuses to accept the situation and keeps accusing me of cheating, while both families are blaming me for everything.

what do you think ? aitah for kicking my husband out and confronting his family about why they let me suffer for years, even though they knew their son was infertile?

I‘ve been with my partner for 7 years and we’ve been engaged for 5 months. Around 3 weeks ago she said she thinks we should break up and has moved back in with her parents. 

She said she loves me a lot of and that isn’t going to change but that the romantic side of the relationship isn’t really there anymore as we’ve had some issues around sex and things have gotten pretty routine with us day to day so there’s been no dates or anything for a while but we do still make a lot of plans together that we both love

Initially it was her medication killing her sex drive and then I had performance anxiety a few times in a row this year so she thought I didn’t find her attractive. 

While she was low for a few weeks before she left, we still made plans together, had fun together, messaged when we weren’t together etc. the night before we went to a play on town, went out for food, came back and cuddled in bed while she was talking about our plans to buy a house next year and plans for the weekend after next when we had a weekend away planned.

Since she moved out we’ve messaged a few times just small talk etc and she’s come over to get things from the apartment and we’ve sat and chatted like old times and hugged etc. 

Last weekend she said we can sit and have a proper talk about us. She mentioned being overwhelmed because I am always talking recently and won’t just enjoy the quiet and downtime. This is down to ADHD which I am waiting for medication for. She also mentioned the fact my friends live out of town and I have no close family means I’ve put a lot of pressure on her to be everything for me. 

She pointed out she doesn’t think it’s deliberate and she’s not blaming me but it can be too much for her. She has depression and recently was overwhelmed with family problems, work problems and the relationship stuff just added to it and that’s what caused things to where they are now.

I apologised for all of that and apologised for my role in the romantic side of things suffering and explained why. I started talking about what I believe could be done to bring it back but she stopped me and I apologised for taking the conversation too far.

she said obviously for now we’ll be staying in contact but she wants to message less only really talk when we meet up but she does want to chat when she comes to the apartment and she does want me to keep her updated on some health and work issues I’m having. I accepted that and told her I wouldn’t only message when ne easy.

It’s my view the reasons she’s listed are real but fixable. I agree I can be a bit much and me getting medicated is a step towards working on that and I’m also talking to a therapist and making an effort with family etc. The fact she wants to stay updated on health and work issues shows the care is still there.

I do believe some time and space will help us both work on ourselves but I do think because we both admit we love each other and love spending time together etc that things can be worked out further down the line.

 We’ve had 7 amazing years and I think the love we have and the support we’ve given each other along with the fact we get on so well and genuinely love spending time together and enjoy making plans for the future both long term and short term outweighs the issues we’re having and means we should at least try to work on them.

We have both helped each other through the worst time of their lives and been there for the best times and we still genuinely get excited about doing things together.

People I’m talking to about it are split. Some think because of how well we do work together and the history of the relationship that we probably can work on it when we’re in a better place individually in a month or two whereas a couple say there’s clearly no chance and I m wrong for expecting there to be. 

AITA for holding out a bit of hope for things to work out?

I wouldn't call him a guy friend, he's more of a classmate I talked to during junior year of highschool 2 years ago. He would text and randomly reply to my stories/notes on instagram. I didn't think much of it and just replied as if I was texting a friend.

But he's still doing that even now (after graduation) every once in awhile when I post. And everytime he sneaks a flirty emoji or says something along those lines, I ignore it and reply normally, hoping he's not actually trying to do something. (For example, he once replied saying "that green dress🧎" to my story and I said "LMAOO ikr me love the color") He often ends the convo by hearting my text and that is it. I did recently text him happy birthday in October without giving it much thought since he said happy birthday to me too, but now I'm regretting doing that.

So now I'm thinking back on the texts he sent, it seems like he's still trying something. And I'm still leading him on with my responses even though I never gave it much thought. I plan on being dry and just giving his message a thumbs up the next time he tries to reply to my story, and I'd rather not have to awkwardly text that I don't want to text like that anymore or let him know I'm not interested like that. But that is probably wrong of me to think that way. AMITAH if I decided to unfollow him so he no longer sees my stories or can dm me?

My brother "Ethan" passed away six months ago. He was 34. It was sudden—a car accident. I (31F) am still not okay.

Ethan was a musician. Not professionally, but seriously. He had one guitar he'd played for fifteen years—a beat-up acoustic he bought with his first real paycheck. He taught himself everything on it. He wrote songs on it. He used to say it was the only thing he owned that actually mattered.

His girlfriend "Tara" (33F) dated him for two years. She was at the funeral. She cried. I felt for her.

Last week, Tara texted me asking if she could have Ethan's guitar. She said he "played it for her all the time" and that it "belongs to her now" because it was "part of their relationship." She said she wants to "keep it safe" and "honor his memory."

I said no. I told her the guitar is staying with our family. My parents agree. Ethan left no will, but his belongings were divided among us—I have the guitar, my mom has his journals, my dad has his record collection.

Tara was furious. She said I'm "gatekeeping" her grief and that she has "just as much right to him as I do." She posted something vague on Instagram about people who "pretend to care about the dead but really just want things."

Some of Ethan's friends think I should give it to her. They say she was his partner, and two years is a long time. My mom says absolutely not.

I don't know. I'm not trying to erase her. But this guitar is the most Ethan thing we have. It's not a souvenir. It's him.

AITH?

This will be the first thanksgiving without my mother and the second year she isn’t here for Christmas, But Christmas Eve is one year since she passed away.. everyone around seems to be ready to celebrate but I’m just not feeling very jolly..

So my friend and I have been buddies for a couple years and we’ve been through a lot together. He has an illness that makes him a frequent flier at hospitals. I would visit him there, bring him food, cry with him, whatever he’s wanted. And he’s very good with making furniture so anytime I would need something set he would come over and help me fix it. So we had mutual understanding and benefits from each other. His sister is a nurse and before this situation I had high respect for her and tbh to some degree wanted to be like her cos she travelled a lot and enjoyed herself. So I was invited to a party by my friends’ sister and her husband for an anniversary. Early she had told me she was in school and I was happy for her because I wanted to attend the same school as well. During a down time at the party. I finally had a chance to talk to her. She said she had some materials for me, That after the anniversary, she would send me the information. I didn’t have her number so I would ask her brother, he would say “ I’ll tell her” and my friend is very laissezza faire about things. If he doesn’t care about it he won’t even talk about it to his sister and I already known this. So after another two months, I became cool with her fiance as well. He wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle and I taught him the basics and we had a good time, I had to tell him as well to please inform his wife. He said he would let her know and she would give me a call. She never gave me a call. Another couple pass and I was like I would go see her in person to ask at their house. When she knew I was coming she ran out the house before I got there. Then posted “don’t be an unhappy person, stop trying to compete” and I was so distraught because someone i had so much respect for just dismissed something that i am very passionate about and thought since my friend knows me and knows I’m not the competitive type and I would do anything for him. I felt angered and and started posting all these type of internet quotes “ I’ll be there for people in there lowest but no one is ever there for me “ (I know corny, but I was mad)because when she had a baby shower I brought her present, when she needed me as her brother to pick up her dog a state over, I was there and I had never asked anything of her. But the first time I asked her for something I get no communication and then get gaslight that I’m always trying to compete. And it had me wondering if my friend felt the same way. So am I the a*hole for getting mad after asking my friends sister about something she’s doing in school but doesn’t want to share it

We decided to drive to another state for Thanksgiving to spend the holiday with family. It’s a huge commitment, because we have to drive almost 18 hours after having to go to work on Wednesday. When I told my brother, that we wouldn’t arrive before 5-6 p.m. on Thanksgiving day, I was confident, we will make it there just on time for dinner. He said that they planned dinner for 2 p.m. and that they will not wait for us. That kind of kills the point for us to travel all this way and get there after everyone is gone to eat their leftovers. My brother even asked us if we could arrive earlier. So, after internal discussion, we decided to stay home. For some reason I feel upset though. We would be the only guests driving this far to see them, all his children live within an hour drive, but he was asking is to arrive early, instead of adjusting his own plans. Am I wrong?

Edit:

Plane flights are out of budget this year, we waited too long thinking the drive would be ok.
The plan was to stay through Sunday.

I (23F) am the youngest of 5 children. My relationship with my family has been a bit strained for a while because I am gay and they are very religious, but I still keep up with them all regularly; we just try not to address it. My grandfather became estranged from our family when I was about 12 years old, and only in the last few years did my mom begin to reconnect with him, but the rest of us kids have had very limited contact with him largely because he moved to a town very far away and couldn’t travel back to see us but also because there is still some soreness there (he never really apologized; we more just accepted that things wouldn’t change and became cordial as we recognized he wouldn’t be around forever). Still, other than a phone call on my birthday, I think I have seen him four times in the last decade. 

Today, he passed away after being in the hospital for some time. I recently moved away to the east coast for grad school, and my family other than my older brother all lives on the west coast. I am in a very very busy time in my semester, and the funeral is in two weeks. Four weeks from now, I am flying home for the holidays. Booking a last minute flight is not cheap, and I am going on a semester abroad next term and do not have much money to spare. Not to mention, my semester is incredibly busy and being in grad school isn’t like a job where you can take time off and have someone cover for you. I would love to go and be there for my family, but it just does not feel feasible for me. If it wasn’t the busiest time in my semester, and for the fact that I am going to be home so soon, I would try to come out but it just feels like too big of a hassle for me at a time where I need to prioritize my schooling.

The problem is that my sisters have already kind of made me feel like I am obligated to go. I have not yet discussed this with my mother, and do not wish to put this on her yet. Honestly, I am frustrated that they are already discussing this with me at all when we only got the news this morning and are just assuming I would come. Listen, I would love to be there, and it makes me upset about the timing of everything, but it just doesn’t seem to make sense to me. My parents have money, there is a small chance they will offer to fly me out, in which case I will go, but if they don’t (which they probably won’t as they are very cheap and often just leave me to pick up the costs of expensive family obligations despite me being a student who has to live extra leanly because I was kicked out of my home for being gay) I don’t think I will go. If circumstances were different I would fly out. But as much as I would love to be there for my mom, she has four other children who can support her. I haven’t been close with my grandfather for a long time, and that is frankly mainly his doing, so I don’t feel some deep sense of obligation to him either. It would be nice to get a bit of closure, but it doesn’t seem worth it. What do you think, WIBTH?

So, long story short, I’ve been with my boyfriend (M38) since I (F32) was 23. We met at work and got together, he had a 2 and 3 year old from a previous marriage at the time.
Things were great until they weren’t, but when I faced that reality and was ready to end things I lost my dad to suicide. My mom couldn’t take it and moved out of state, and I lived with her at our family home at the time which she decided to sell. Couldn’t afford my own place, wound up moving in with him.
Our relationship hasn’t been the best. I’ve been financially dependent since moving in, when I get ahead on finances he’s out of money and drains what I have.
Over the years we’ve settled into the dynamic of whatever he wants, I go to every family gathering with him but he doesn’t come to any of mine with my siblings.
3 years ago I became unexpectedly pregnant. Since having my daughter I’ve been even more withdrawn and I have zero sexual interest which makes him very angry. I’ve tried to leave a handful of times but keep getting guilt tripped back into it because of our kids.
Recently during a drunken rage he told me that my parents killed themselves to get away from me and something in me just sort of clicked, I guess. My mom passed a couple of years ago from liver failure.
I’ve just been sort of dead toward him. He keeps talking at me about his interests and movies he’s watching or games he’s played and I’ve just sort of checked out. If he notices he doesn’t care, just keeps talking over my one worded answers.

My plan is to get through the holidays of the year while quietly saving up, and then I want to sit down and talk to him at the beginning of the year once I have my plan in place and explain that I’m done in the most diplomatic way possible to avoid any hostility with custody and keep the chance open at staying in touch with his now 12 and 13 year old. In the past we’ve agreed we’d do weekly custody, which I’m ok with as of now since he’s as good of a father as he is terrible as a partner. I’ve also let one of my sisters know, just so I can have someone close to talk to about it.

I feel like a complete ass though. He can’t afford for me to leave, and he can’t give the kids the Christmas they want without my income and I don’t want them to remember me leaving like that. But I’m wondering if I’m TA if I wait when mentally I’m already gone.

Sorry for any errors, English is not my first language.

I am 18M and my girlfriend is 20F, we have known each other since middle school and we've been dating for 3 years. I love her a lot and she means a lot to me, but she's always had this weird habit of making me seem like I'm better than I actually am.

She'll put herself down in ways I don't like. She'll often tell me that I "look like a model" and she doesn't know how she "pulled" me. I used to find it flattering when she said it, but it started rubbing me the wrong way very quickly. I always remind her that she is so beautiful and I love her very much. I also say that I don't like that she thinks about herself that way. She will just shrug me off.

Another thing she'll do is compare me to her friend's boyfriends to their faces. Whenever one of them will bring up something nice that her boyfriend did, she'll go into a rant about all the nice things I have done for her. For example, if her friend says her boyfriend bought her flowers, she'll immediately bring up the time I got into pipe cleaner flowers because I wanted to handmake them for her. Kind of as if it makes me "better" is how I've always seen it.

I don't like that she makes me seem better than I actually am and I've brought it up to her. She'll ask me why I'm complaining and laugh that I'm "just a good boyfriend" her actions are "a reflection" of how good I treat her. While it is flattering, there's a part of me that finds it wrong. I'm glad that I'm special to her, but I don't like that she's trying to make others see me as "more special" too.

The part where it crossed the line was when she started comparing me to other men directly. She made a comment on how I was so much more "well managed" and "well trained" compared to men where she was from. She is from America for context, I am not from here originally. She said that someone like me was hard to come by and that I was "rare". I asked her to stop doing that, and all she said was that it was true. She then started putting herself down again by saying she didn't know why I would ever be with her.

We got into an argument over it and I told her I needed some space and time to myself because of all of this. I don't know if that was the right thing to do, because she sounded very insecure about herself and maybe I reinforced it with this; but I genuinely can't go another minute with her making me seem like I'm better than everyone else, or putting herself down to make me look better.

Am I the asshole and am I overreacting?

My husband "Mark" (38M) works in finance. I (36F) am a freelance illustrator. I've been freelancing for six years. I make about 60% of what he makes, but I pay my share of the bills, I have my own savings, and I work 40+ hours a week. I just don't have a corporate title.

Every year, Mark's company hosts a black-tie annual dinner. Every year, I go. And every year, Mark introduces me the same way: "This is my wife. She doesn't work—she just does art stuff."

The first time, I let it go. The second time, I asked him to stop. He said I was being sensitive and that "it's just a joke." The third time, I corrected him in front of his colleague: "Actually, I'm a freelance illustrator. I work full-time." Mark was annoyed with me the whole ride home.

Last weekend was this year's dinner. I told him before we left: "Please don't say I don't work." He promised he wouldn't. Then, two hours in, he introduced me to his new boss: "This is my wife. She doesn't work—she's an artist."

I excused myself to the bathroom, called a cab, and left. I didn't make a scene. I just left.

He came home furious. He said I embarrassed him in front of his boss. He said I "made a statement" by leaving. I told him I've been asking for three years, and he's been treating my career like a punchline. He said I'm "too sensitive" and that "no one actually cares what you do."

My sister says I should have just waited until we got home. My best friend says I should have left the first time he said it.

AITH?

Hi all,

I'm needing some advice to understand if IATAH for putting my foot in my mouth.

Long story short, my BIL went to youth prison before he was 18 for getting into a fight (weapons involved) and hurting someone.

I was drinking tonight, and my SIL was talking with me on how she thought my BIL could potentially move overseas to a nearby country now that he is in a good job, but that he was unsure because when he tried to when he was younger, he was turned away at the border due to his criminal record.

I wouldn't normally, but because I was drunk, I said something to the degree of "well, that's what happens when you hurt someone" (with the weapon). She was a bit surprised and said she didn't know that that was what happened. I knew instantly I had really put my foot in it.

She said she didn't mind, that it helped her understand him more, but I'm sure she'll bring it up.

They have bought a house together, are engaged, and even poop with the door open. His mom said she knew and accepted him for his flaws, so it didn't cross my mind when I said it.

Bottom line, I feel absolutely awful, like I've potentially caused a massive rift in their relationship. I would be pissed if it was my partner.

He's pretty intoxicated right now and I've gone home, but I can't stop thinking about it. Should I message him and apologize? Wait for him to say something, or when I see him in person next time?

I'm really needing some advice, it's making me feel physically sick and I'm so angry with myself.

My sister and I are really close, we both still live at home and we go to the same university but completely different majors. we have some cross over with our university friends. With all of that being said, my sister and one of our friends were hanging out and went out to lunch yeter day. we were at lunch when our friend made a comment about how we plan to spend our 20th birthday together and said it’s cute that even though we are adults now we still do stuff together like that. My sister said her and I made a promise to spend our birthdays together as long as we possibly can. I then said as a joke “may death do us part” and my sister said “with the way you have been hitting the gym, do you mean actually death or your impending twink death” or friend laughed and I said “you know you can just call me a [f slur] next time” expect I actually said it and my sister said ”holy shit ew, I was trying to be nice and say you look good since you started to hit the gym” and I said “you know I hate being called a twink so why do you say it” she said ”i was saying you aren’t a twink hence twink death“ I told her let’s just talk about this later because I don’t want to see you die on this hill in front of [friends name] that’s when our friend stepped in and said “guys you can fight later let’s all be happy!”

My parents have always been “strict” but I’d like another opinion on whether they have crossed the line. My whole life they always tried to help me by making sure i didnt get bad grades or that i did my chores you know the stuff, and their favorite method of discipline was lectures. they would talk to me for hours on why i should be more grateful and how i shouldnt be getting Bs and the things. But in high school they started to step up their game. They started to get more angry with me when i would have low grades in the middle of the term (i always ended up with As on my report card, but it normally involved a lot of stress the last weeks of the term) and they began to extend the lectures, stretching to like 2-3 hours, and they would also tell me how i was a “fucking idiot” or other names. Then they started charging me money when i had low grades. every week, on sunday, if i had a B or lower no matter what point in the term they would charge me $100 (And thats in addition to the 1/3 of my check that i would give them for my rent/extracurriculars, and i was also paying them back for my car). I also want to note that i was not taking average classes, i was in multiple AP and concurrent enrollment classes (basically that means when i graduated i had about a semester and a half of college already done) and on top of that i was working a job at a restaurant for about 30 hours a week, and i also had an internship at a music school, mixing audio, and on top of that i was playing in 3 of my schools highest music ensembles, and an after school, nationally touring band, in addition to gigs i picked up. I wanted to include this to show that i wasnt some irresponsible high schooler getting bad grades, i was actually away from home for 70-80+ hours a week depending on what my concert schedule looked like that week, and so keeping up with college classes wasnt easy. But still my parents insisted that i get straight As. There was one term i got a C, in a class that should have been easy. I was lectured for hours, and they said a lot of hurtful things. As time went on i got more and more lectures, until throughout my sr year nearly any downtime i had at home was spent getting screamed at by my parents. I actually would stay late at work and stuff so that i wouldnt have to go home. Then, i turned 18 and i graduated, and about a week after i graduated i ran away. I had money saved away to buy a new phone, get food, i had been planning for a few mknths and was prepared. Unfortunately i hadnt factored in that i hadnt paid off my car to my parents, so once they got ahold of me, they forced me to have a conversation where they threatened to take the car away from me unless i came home, threatening to bring in the law. I tried to explain how i had been feeling, but they shut me down, and told me that it was all for the best and that they did it to help me. I felt manipulated, but in the end i had to come home. I waited out the summer until i could move away to college, but now that im here they want to have this lovey dovey relationship with me, like nothing happened. Am i wrong to be mad at them for all the shit? I want to be clear that this is my side, and that it is not the whole story, and that i do know they genuinely care and want to help, but this is how ive felt.

I have in the past recorded my neighbor's music coming through my wall from April till about June from between 12-3am. At one point in the summer the girlfriend was out in the middle of the street screaming about my neighbor cheating on her. It got really quiet, thank god they broke up. I have also had issues with them smoking on property and their smoke coming into my rooms. Our lease explicitly says no smoking on the property and no noise after 10pm until 8am and even then noise must stay within your own apartment and not disturb others. It's why I chose this place.

UNFUCKINGFORTUNATELY I guess they got back together because it's Friday(Saturday) at 12:30am and their music woke me up half an hour ago. I recorded the music and have also yelled many times at the wall for them to turn it down.

They have turned it up.

I can go outside and knock on their door (I've left notes) but it's cold and wet. So AITH for yelling in my room at the wall and sending a message to my landlord without talking to my neighbors first?

I live in a small apartment complex with 7 or 8 duplexes in a nice-ish neighborhood.

In September, my neighbor's girlfriend came outside and harassed me in the parking lot about parking in the apartment driveway, claiming it was her spot. I tried to introduce myself and have a conversation, but she was rude and accusatory right off the bat. She accused me of parking there specifically to upset her. I was genuinely shocked because I’ve never spoken to this woman before, I’ve barely seen her in passing. I don’t even think she lives here. I have no idea what her schedule is, and I barely ever park there. 

I explained to her that it was resident-only parking (there's a sign) and first come, first served but she didn't care. The other neighbors often park in that area too.

I got in my car and left and immediately let the property manager know about what happened and she said she would talk to them.

Then this afternoon I parallel parked my car between 2 other neighbor's cars with the fence to my right and the apartments to my left. The driveway is a little more than 3 cars wide in size and normally theres room to maneuver and back out. I went to move my car and leave at 5:30 PM and there was her black Mercedes parked as close as possible to the left of my car boxing me in, even though there was plenty of room to park elsewhere. I felt it was obviously on purpose because she was mad I was "in her spot". I went to the apartment and asked her to move her car and she didn't seem surprised at all and didn't apologize.

She came outside and started walking to the cars, she said "are we going to continue having this problem?" I said "I don't know, are we?" and she says "[my name], right?"  I said "what's your name?" and she ignored me. So I told her, "I'm a resident and I pay rent here, and the parking is for residents only and is first come first serve and if you have a problem then you need to talk to the property manager. I already spoke to her and she confirmed all that."

Then she stops walking and turns toward me and starts saying “I’m letting you know PERSONALLY that this problem better not continue." She said it several times emphasizing the word “personally” in a tone that felt very threatening.

I said “Actually YOU are the problem. You are the problem here and you’re in the wrong.”

Then we got in our cars and she moved so I could get out and then I texted my property manager what happened.

The PM confirmed again everything I said and she said she already spoke to that resident once. She said she was going to consult the property's attorney and maybe talk to the owner about putting in marked parking spaces.

My concern at this point is the threatening nature of what the woman said and how she said it. It feels like hostile harassment, and she's trying to bully and intimidate me into not parking in my own apartment complex where I have every right to park. What if she tries to retaliate against me somehow?

Then I called the non-emergency line for advice and they advised me to call them to come out if it happens again. Then I filed a police report for harassment, which is just for documentation in case anything else happens or escalates so there's a record.

Am I the asshole for continuing to park in "her" spot or would I be an asshole for calling the police next time or getting her car towed?

TL;DR: A neighbor's girlfriend who just visits on weekends has twice confronted me over parking in our small apartment complex, claiming a certain spot is hers even though parking is resident-only and first come, first served. Today, she boxed my car in with hers and when I asked her to move her car, threatened me that this "problem" better not continue. The property manager confirmed I'm not doing anything wrong, and I've filed a police report to document everything as harassment. Am I the asshole for continuing to park in "her" spot or would I be an asshole for calling the police next time or getting her car towed?

My daughter “Lily” is 4. She has a severe dairy allergy—diagnosed at 18 months after an ER visit. We carry an EpiPen everywhere. My mother has known about this for over two years.

Last Saturday, my husband and I went to a friend’s birthday dinner. My mom offered to watch Lily. She’s done it before, and we’ve always left detailed instructions: no dairy, no “just a little taste,” no cross-contamination. She’s always said “I know, I know, I’m not stupid.”

When we got back, Lily was asleep. My mom said everything went fine. But the next morning, Lily had a mild rash on her face and complained her tummy hurt. I asked my mom what she ate. She was quiet for a second, then said: “I gave her a bite of my ice cream. Just one bite. I didn’t think it would do anything.”

I lost it. I told her she could have sent my daughter into anaphylaxis. She said I was overreacting, that “one bite” couldn’t possibly be that serious, and that I’m “turning into one of those paranoid moms.”

I told her she won’t be watching Lily anymore. She started crying and said I’m punishing her for an honest mistake. My dad called later and said I’m being cruel—that Mom loves Lily more than anything and I’m breaking her heart over “a little rash.”

My husband is fully on my side. But I keep wondering: did I overreact? The rash cleared up in a day. Lily is fine. But the fact that my mom dismissed the risk—and then called me paranoid—scares me more than the ice cream itself.

AITH?