A long time ago, when I was deep in the trenches, I saw a post here from a mom who was reading a book while her two kids happily played together. It was so small but at the time I was feeling like every moment I was a second away from a mental breakdown. It felt impossible but it gave me hope.

Now mine are 1 and 2, getting closer to 2 and 3, and just now I caught myself drinking my coffee while they played together. I blinked..and somewhere along the way, my two under two became best friends. They fight, obviously, but they also make each other laugh, play together, and genuinely love each other. My heart sings when my older daughter calls out for her brother to play with her. Sometimes they tackle each other with hugs and kisses. It's disgustingly cute.

Looking back, I can barely even remember how hard those early days were because I was so deep in survival mode. Breastfeeding my newborn while my toddler was screaming at me to hold her. Feeling like I lost myself somewhere along the way. But I'm happy to report, it really was temporary.

So I figured I'd pass along the gift someone gave me. The quiet moments come back. Your babies become little people, and one day you'll realize they're entertaining each other while you actually get to sit down and drink your coffee. And its these little moments that are so so so good.

You got this, keep going. It does get better. It does get easier and at times it's better than amazing.

About 3 years ago was one of the hardest parts of my life so far. My girls were 6 months and 2 years old at the time. Posts like this were literally some of the only things that kept me going. So occasionally I make one of my own.

My girls are now 3.5 and 5. It is a rainy Saturday morning. They slept 7:30PM - 6:30AM straight through last night. When they got up at 6:30, they grabbed granola bars and watched an hour of PBS while I laid in bed. Then we had breakfast. Now I’m folding laundry and doing little chores while they do puzzles, build with MagnaTiles, listen to audiobooks, and play with Playdoh. Later, we’ll go to swim lessons and the grocery store. They’ll help put groceries away when we get home. Yes, they argue sometimes. Yes, our life is busy. But, they are the best of friends. Life is so much easier than it was 3 years ago, and we have so much fun. Keep going!

It's challenging and exhausting sometimes, but these little moments make it all worth it.

My eldest turns 4 tomorrow, and I’m reflecting on 2 years ago. That’s when we had a 2 month old and 2 year old. And it was hell. I had PPA. Baby Sister had reflux. And we all spent a lot of time crying. It was honestly a really dark time.

Today, a rainy Saturday morning, I sat down with my coffee and cracked open Chapter 1 of my book at 9:30. The girls started on a Magnatile creation. Now it’s 10:30. My coffee is gone. I’m 40 pages into my book. And that Magnatile creation is impressive. I didn’t have to get up once.

I’m sharing this because similar stories are the only thing that got me through it 2 years ago. You’ll get here. Just keep going.

I have 2 boys, they're 13 months apart. When I found out (at 4 months PP) that I was pregnant again, I was SO HAPPY. Nervous? Sure. But, I was ready, and I was really hoping for another boy. (Obviously, a healthy baby is the real concern!) Anyway, my point is, I've been seeing a lot of moms post about finding out they're pregnant again, and being sad/scared. Of course, your feelings are valid!! But, I'm here to tell you that it's the best thing I've ever done. My boys are best friends, we only wanted 2, so now I can have my body back. I love watching my older son try and feed his little brother, bring him toys, hug him.. it's just SO CUTE. Just look at them 😭

Saw another post so I thought I’d add to the love. I have four kids. My third was 9 months old when I became pregnant, and 19 months when youngest was born. To add to my difficulty; my ex left me when third was 16 months old. So…it was hard as hell. There are still hard days, but most of the time my heart feels like it will burst from all the love.

Three under 4

Hey y’all, so for context I was talking to my therapist about how I want to be a good mom, but being a mother is HARD. She asked me point blank “do you equate ease of doing something with how good you are at it?”

I think my jaw was on the floor. Because I think somewhere along the way I had internalized that being good at something makes it easy. Or if you just work hard enough at something you get good at it, and that makes it easy.

As a high-achieving (highly anxious) person it really shifted my perspective on it. Being a mom IS hard AND I am good at it. And I’ll bet you are too. ❤️

I joined this sub excited to discuss and share everything about 2 under 2. I was in that journey. I was trembling with fear when I found out about the second pregnancy. But this sub was like a support group and gave me assurance that I could do it. Even if I couldn’t do it, I could share, rant and discuss about it. Lost my baby just now. He was born with soo many complications that couldn’t be treated. Not writing this to demotivate anyone. I’m just happy for you all. Really am. Leaving this sub with a heavy heart as I won’t be able to share, rant, discuss anything 2 under 2. I wish and pray for all the mothers to have healthy pregnancy and healthy babies. Take care.

The two year old is mostly dropping her nap, but wanted snuggles today during quiet time and was snoring 20 seconds later.

I remember when I was still pregnant and reading all of the posts about how awful and miserable 2 under 2 is. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely some lows that you'll experience and there is a pretty steep learning curve in the beginning.

I just "graduated" with my oldest son's second birthday last month (we have an 18 month age gap). Let me just tell you that having these two babies has been the wildest, hardest, most magical, amazing, chaotic, stressful, and perfect thing I've ever done. There have certainly been days that I've questioned whether or not/when I want more children, but I've never regretted having these two with the gap that I did.

LO is now 6mo and let me tell you -- NO ONE in this world can make him belly laugh the way his big brother can.

I guess I'm just trying to say not to worry. It's gonna work out. You'll live through the lows, and the highs are going to make everything with it.

18m age gap here. I was glued to this thread when I found out I was pregnant - pits of despair, had JUST gotten my life back, my body back, just retuned to work. Both pregnancies were awful - HG for 5 months, working, living with in laws, renovating.
So when our baby came, I did find it a little easier than being pregnant with a toddler. The next four months were tough, ok slightly hellish, but now I can say OH MY GOODNESS ITS WORTH IT!

If you are in the trenches, keep going!!

I now have a 2.5 year old daughter and a 1 year old daughter, and seeing them play together honestly unlocks a new level of love and joy. I had a oxytocin overdrive today we read a story in bed, they giggled, pretended to nibble each other’s fingers, and my eldest rubbed my youngest’s belly as if she was putting her to sleep which she found completely hysterical. Just silly little sister games. Don’t get me wrong - we have a lot of possessive ‘that’s MINE’ from our toddler and snatching that can land in tears - but when they play peacefully together omg it melts my heart.

That is all. Just to say I never thought I’d get here, but there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Before my son was born (15 months after my daughter), I spent HOURS lurking in r/2under2 thinking, “It can’t be that bad.”

Reader… it was that bad. 😂

Now I completely understand.

Childcare? “Oh, we’ll watch your daughter!” The minute you mention BOTH kids, suddenly everyone has “plans.” 🤣

Date nights require the GDP of a small country.
Leaving the house feels like you’re coordinating a military operation.

Somebody is always hungry, somebody is crying, and somehow it’s usually me.

My social battery? I used to love hanging out. Now if I get 30 uninterrupted minutes of silence, I treat it like I won the lottery.

The crazy part is they’re best friends one minute… then five seconds later they’re fighting over the same toy that neither of them cared about all day.

I love these little maniacs more than anything, but whoever said “they’ll keep each other entertained” forgot to mention they’d also keep me permanently exhausted. 😂
Appropriate
To all the parents currently doom-scrolling this subreddit before baby #2 arrives… you’re not being dramatic. Stock up on coffee, patience, and backup babysitters. You’re gonna need all three.

I feel the need to post this because it would have made me feel seen in the months and years I struggled with my 2 kids 14.5mo apart.

That shit was hard. My older baby was obsessed with her little brother to the point where she tried to kill him, on accident, multiple times per hour. She'd scream if I picked him up. She didn't walk when he was born so I was lugging around a 25lb non-walking toddler at 9mo pregnant. She had a few words but nothing actually useful to express her deep disdain for her new position as no-longer-the-baby, and she threw tantrums many, many times per day instead. I had 2 babies on different nap schedules and eating schedules, although both of them needed intense support eating and sleeping.

Then of course there was my actual newborn, with his purple crying, sleep regressions, inability to soothe, feed, dress, toilet, bathe, or advocate himself because he was a tiny baby.

As they grew, my older toddler would knock my younger one over and steal his toys. He started crawling at 6mo and walking at 10mo so he soon joined the toy stealing game. My older toddler communicated her frustration in the only way she knew how, which was shrieking her bloody lungs out.

Around 18mo in, it got easier. Oh my god, they started playing with each other! We thought we'd try for a third. We didn't want to wait too long as I was approaching my 35th birthday.

First try I got pregnant with twins, who were born when my middle child was 26mo. That age gap was GREAT, if anyone is wondering.

Here's the deal with newborn twins: They dont fight each other. You put them down to nap and you dont have to worry that one of them is going to stab the other with the sharp end of a toddler spoon. They have the same, or similar, feeding schedules. They are used to each other from the start and they're never jealous of the other getting attention. Having twins is 25% more work than having one baby. Having 2u2 is 300% more work than having 1 baby.

My twins are 17mo now and at every single stage, having twins has been easier than having 2 kids a year apart. This upcoming December, my oldest is going to age out of the 3-4yo YMCA classes, while my middle will still be in them through March 2028. When I enroll my twins that following June, they'll be in the same classes forever.

I still technically have 2u2. We have all the fighting, the running opposite ways, and one waking up early and the other staying up late. But it's easier this time. The babies are the same size and they've been bonded since birth. If youre struggling, its because what you are doing is HARD! It will get better in a year or two. My 3yo and 4yo are now like having one child who entertains itself with its alter ego. It's absolutely the best.

My husband has gone to urgent care as his lungs sound like that chicken toy when it breaths in, so I’ve got our 7mo and 2 yo to put to sleep

Now, I just TRIED this new method and it bloody worked.

We have a rocking chair in my sons room, so I plopped my son in bed after a nice routine (milk, nappy, teeth, book, Quran recitation in the background, sleep) and I sat in thechair and rocked his little sister. I would just remind him it’s time to sleep if he started to sit up. He changed his blanket 3 times but I allowed it and said ok this one is the last one please.

It wasn’t an instant sleep but they’re now both sleeping after about 20-25 minutes ?

I did it. I can’t believe I did it🥹

That is all

Hi everyone, I randomly came across this sub again today and thought I'd pop in with some generally positive vibes and updates!

My oldest has just turned 4 and my youngest is 2.5, both girls. Having these kids so close together has been one of the greatest decisions my husband and I have made in our entire lives (other than marrying one another in the first place of course 😅). And we fully planned this as both kids were IVF - I was 9 months PP when I got pregnant with #2.

My girls always got on fine, but there's only so much play to be had between a toddler and a small baby. But once the small one turned 2, seriously it was like my whole world as a parent just.. opened up into the promised land. Once the youngest was old enough to keep up with the oldest, the two of them just go off together into the backyard or their rooms or wherever and just PLAY, interact, talk, have conflict, resolve conflict.. it is amazing. For massive periods of the day, I literally don't have to do anything 🤣 They absolutely love and adore one another as well. They kiss and cuddle each other before bedtime, or if one leaves to go somewhere without the other. Sometimes in the middle of play they'll pause for a kiss and cuddle. They say "I love you" to each other and I just DIEEEEEE.

Yeah they fight too, as any siblings might. But even the fights are important as they are opportunities for them to learn.

Ladies, having kids close together pays off!!! You've got this.

The time has come that my eldest has just turned 2yo (baby is now 5 months) and it's time I say goodbye, I'm no longer 2u2. I'd love to leave some parting advice for those heading into a 2u2 journey or those currently knee deep in it.

My advice -

1. Lower the bar, then lower it again.

Your house does not need to be perfect. Dinner can be repetitive. Survival is the goal in the early months, not thriving. Thriving comes later. Leave the laundry, even a 15min nap can work wonders if you see a glimmer of hope take it.

2. Logistics matter.

Double stroller that actually works for you. Diaper stations in ever room. Snacks everywhere. Prep the night before. 2u2 is 50% love and 50% systems. Build a system / daily routine / work towards a sleep schedule that works for you & guard it with your life. It saved my sanity.

3. Safety matters - have a "yes" zone.

Half the mental battle is keeping eyes in the back of your head to watch your toddler. If you need to put up a little playpen for your toddler with toys & fun stuff - do it. This will keep toddler happy when you're feeding / burping / playing with baby and you know everything they have around them is safe and they won't hurt themselves.

4. Protect the toddler’s routine as much as you can.

Your baby will adapt. Your toddler… will not 😂 Keeping their nap & bedtime rhythm as a constant in their daily life saved us. They love predictability and we do too.

5. 1 on 1 time matters more than you think.

Even 10 minutes of undivided attention for the toddler (or baby!) can completely refill their cup. It reduced jealousy way more than I expected. Also get them involved - need to do cook dinner? Talk to your toddler about the veggies going into the pan (safe distance from heat) or colours of the cups when doing the dishes etc

6. Accept help.

Even if it’s not done your way. If someone offers to cook, clean, hold the baby, take the toddler - say yes. This is not the season for pride.

🌟Final parting words 🌟

I promise you, it really does get easier. Around 4–5 months we could breathe. You start seeing the magic... the little interactions, the giggles, the beginnings of friendship. The start is so hard and so unbelievably intense, but the love is unreal.

Thankyou to everyone for making this subreddit so welcoming and supportive. If you’re in the trenches right now — I promise you’re doing better than you think. It’s chaos, but it’s also something really special. 5 years from now you'll look back on this time as a huge milestone of achievement.

You’ve got this ❤️🥰💕

I made a post on here quite a while ago about how I did not enjoy having two children. I just wanted to make a little update! I was wholly and entirely wrong. I didn’t even want my second baby (during pregnancy) and struggled to bond with him just after he was born. Now I genuinely cannot imagine a world without him. Both of these children hold my entire heart. I’m still tired and I’m still busy every single moment of the day because they’re sweet little Velcro babies but oh my gosh do I adore it. I legitimately feel sad when I put them to bed at night. I hold them, cuddle them, and try to absorb every single moment. I wish Reddit was safer so I could show you all how absolutely beautiful they are. Instead I opted to show you some of what I see. Every hair on that little leg was grown by my body. Every one of those long eyelashes was grown while inside of me. My body can’t keep them safe anymore but I do my very best. I’m reminded every single day by every little hair and eyelash how much of me is still in them. I love them, I love this life. They are 23 months old and 11 months old and everyone was right. It did get better, it gets better every single day. Thank you all for the support back then, it meant a lot and still does❤️

I’m not even halfway through this book (5 minute stints across months because what is free time?) and it’s been revolutionary. I have been SO exhausted trying to keep my kids entertained while I manage the house in the 2 hours between home from work and bedtime. It was getting unsustainable and my 22month old daughter and I were starting to lose it at each other.

In comes this book that says kids don’t need to be entertained or have fancy Grimms Montessori toys/ikea kitchen sets and independently play. Instead, it highlights how our kids are hardwired for connection and to learning how to live beside us. so now if I’m cooking, she’s pouring the olive oil and mixing the coffee. if I’m doing laundry, she’s loading the machines and pulling clean clothes out of the hamper for me to fold. When we go outside it’s not focused on play, it’s to feed the chickens and weed the flowers.

Everything is slower, and not to an adult standard, but in the process she’s turning all these chores into little side quest games that entertain her and let her feel connected to what I’m doing. She is a contributing member of our family now, besides being pure entertainment, and we’re all emotionally better off for it.

Save your sanity, read or listen to this book and implement what makes sense for your family.

14 month age gap. First 6 months I was surviving. Had such a hard time balancing my newly walking 14 month old and my newborn that did not want to be put down. Whoever said going 1-2 was easier than 0-1 …. Not for me. It felt so hard - on top of postpartum complications, no sleep, horrible body image issues. I had the worst baby blues for 6 weeks & felt like such a failure.

Fast forward to present day, our youngest turned 1 a couple weeks ago, our older daughter is 2. It was so incredibly worth the struggle in the beginning. I find this stage to be so fulfilling and such a blast. They giggle at each other. Hug and kiss and cuddle. My toddler can talk and tell me her needs, my 1 year old can be put down for extended periods of time. They make each other & my husband & I laugh constantly. They come running with me in our jogger and they’ve motivated me to be healthier, run longer distances, take care of myself again.

I look back to that survival period last year and want to give myself a giant hug. If you’re in the thick of it in those early stages of adding your newest baby - It does get better. There are of course still hard moments and each stage has challenges, but it’s so much more manageable now, at least in my personal experience. Cheers to this lovely, wild chaotic adventure that is 2 under 2 ❤️

Edit:

If you read nothing else, please read this:

Do not report posts for violating Rule 9 if the user a) is already pregnant, or b) states they have spoken to their doctor and been told they can safely start trying to conceive.

Hello all!

Just popping in with a quick clarification on our rule against encouraging back to back pregnancies.

There has been a sharp uptick in reports for this rule, and almost all reports are on posts that are ultimately approved.

The purpose of this rule is to support current medical advice, which is to wait 12-18 months between pregnancies. There are risks associated with close pregnancy spacing, so we have a rule to prohibit users from encouraging others to ignore medical advice. This rule is not a way for users to remove posts they don't like or gatekeep pregnancy spacing.

If a user is already pregnant, do not report the post for Rule 9. They're already pregnant, the report button will not change that. If a user states their doctor has given them the go-ahead to start trying to conceive, do not report the post for Rule 9. They've already received medical advice from their actual doctor, we aren't going to try to do a better job than medical professionals who have actually met the OP.

We are a community specifically for parents and caregivers of children with a close age gap. You will encounter posts from users who had children in quick succession. Users who are already pregnant (guys, legit, one of y'all reported a user who had already given birth to her second child) don't fall under the "do not encourage back to back pregnancies" rule.

If you have any questions or are unsure how to interpret Rule 9 (or any other rules) please comment or use mod mail and I will happily discuss how the rules can be revamped to be understood more clearly.

And on that note...

Did you guys hear about the German pessimist who's afraid of saususage? He fears the wurst.

I have 4 under 2 (I know, crazy), I have a 20 month old son, 10 month old son, and 2 week old twins.

The twins had a doctors appointment and I got myself and all 4 kids dressed (the twins twice because of blowouts), in the car, and to the appointment on time, all by myself lol

Did I mention the appointment was at 8:15 in the morning 😅 why would they ever give a mom of 4 under 2 such an early appointment? 😭 I did it though!

I thought I might give many of you a glimpse at what this journey is like in the future. My kids are now 3 and almost 2, with a 17.5 month age gap.

They adore each other. They’re best friends, playmates, fight like any siblings but most of the time can’t do without each other. Particularly the youngest who has never known life without his big sister. Every time we drop her off at preschool, dance or gymnastics he begins to cry, and begs for her 🥲 They are very close!

They’re both in big kid beds now and sleeping through the night, which means WE are sleeping through the night. Life is still crazy, they both want me and want stuff at the same time. It’s always “Snack Mommy!” “Water!” “Juice!” I walk 10,000 steps a day, easy (I’m home with them).

But I’m trying to soak up all these toddler moments because they are quickly becoming big kids. Soaking up the hugs and carrying my youngest to bed at night. The joy over nighttime stories and seeing Daddy after a work day. It’s crazy how quickly time has flown from the baby days when I was drowning.

It will get better, I promise ❤️

Hey we are 3 months into 2 under 2 16 month old and 3 month old and I just want to say I’m loving it. Yes it has its moments but if I just take a deep breath and remember how blessed I am to be in this position… it really puts everything into to perspective. As long as they are both happy and healthy and no one is hurt what else matters. Every notification from this forum seems to be negative.. let’s spread some positivity. We are blessed to be in this position. Time goes so fast they grow so fast each phase doesn’t last forever. Savour the moments and just enjoy the wild and crazy ride!!