Today is my 880 day without weed. When I decided to quit cold turkey I thought I just needed to survive a few unpleasant weeks and then my life would magically become perfect again. 

That was a lie. The reality of female detox is messy, biological and heavily misunderstood. Here are the facts truths I wish I had known on Day 1:

1. Your cycle will probably go rogue
No one warned me that THC is a massive endocrine disruptor. When you stop using weed , your brain forgets how to signal your ovaries properly. My period disappeared, and when it finally came, the PMDD was more tough than it was before. A Body needs about 3-4 months to relearn how to produce progesterone without a chemical crutch.

2. The cravings aren't random, they're hormonal
Every single time I almost relapsed, I was in my late luteal phase. Dopamine naturally drops right before your period, and your brain just screams for the easiest, fastest fix it knows. Once I tracked my cycle and realized my cravings were just biology, the panic stopped.

3. You will grieve the "stoner couple" identity
If you smoke with your partner, getting sober together is incredibly awkward at first. You have to literally re-learn how to have a conversation and be intimate without the dopamine boost. The silent, boring evenings will make you want to scream. But surviving that awkwardness builds a real connection that weed never could.The same might be with friends  Or you might stop any connections that remind you of weed. It happens too

4. The "sober glow-up" is a myth (at first)
Instead of getting instantly clear skin, I replaced weed with sugar to survive the dopamine crash. I gained weight, my face broke out and the night sweats didn’t make it better, so you look worse before you look better.

I survived all of this and the peace I have today is absolutely worth the hell of the first few months.

What are thefacts about quitting weed that you wish someone had warned you about?

So many of you joined the sub recently, and it made me really happy. When I created this space, I thought it would just be me talking to myself about my experiences with luteal phase cravings, brain fog and everything else. But I’m so glad that it’s actually helpful for so many of us out there.

To everyone who just joined - welcome to our little corner. I want this place to feel like a cozy, safe group. The kind of place where you never have to pretend that everything is alright, and where you can openly share your real struggles.

If you threw out your glass or vape pen today, post about it here so we can celebrate and support you through the withdrawals. If your dopamine is on the floor and you are just crying in bed, please write about it here so we can warm you. If you need advice on insomnia, cravings or anything else, just ask. And even if you relapsed yesterday there is absolutely no shame in that. 

Quitting weed is a massive shock to our bodies and hormones. Doing it alone is terrifying. But knowing that there are other girls who understand this exact rollercoaster makes the whole process a bit easier. Thank you once again for being part of this community. Please make yourselves at home!

I would love to meet you in the comments. Where are you currently? Are you already sober or just starting to think about changing your relationship with weed?

This is the longest I’ve been sober since 2015. Been a daily smoker since 2002, MJ was my best friend.

Detox was rough, after a month I still am quite irritable…but I no longer have the shame spirals or auditory/visual hallucinations. And I finally am just now starting things I’ve been putting off.

Even though I’m celebrating a milestone today, I’m the type of person that can’t count my days, or commit to not smoking tomorrow (I still have dabs in my weed tin). I’m taking it one day at a time.

For anyone who doesn’t think they can, just being curious is enough to start. Thankful to have this group of ladies!! Cheers 💜

Today marks one full year of sobriety for me! It was challenging and worth it. My mood has stabilized significantly though I do experience cravings, it is few and far between.

No one in my real life cares to celebrate with me since they don't think cannabis use can be problematic/addictive so I'm sharing here instead.

For anyone out there on this journey, keep up the good work! We can do this and it does get better. It's great to feel like you're you again and worth every step of the journey.

Just wanted to share that today marks 800 days with no weed. I almost missed that because I'm having the flu.

Today is a tricky day for all of us who are struggling with MJ... People all over the world celebrating weed day, posting memes, making jokes about getting high, just talking about it a lot. It makes you think that it might be okay to smoke a joint, but I know that for me it will transform into disaster.

I had a pretty strong craving today. Maybe one of the strongest for a long time. And it scared me a bit. Like, why am I still having cravings after more than 2 years without smoking? It feels so unfair, especially with a substance that’s being called cool by so many people.

Fortunately, it passed after I lost myself in my book, and now I’m going to sleep clear‑headed. And proud of myself.

Wherever you are on this journey, please keep going. Your mind, your body, your soul, your relationships, your career, and everything that matters will thank you down the road.

Firstly, I am absolutely thrilled this space exists. I wish I could have been part of this space a few years ago when I was having more complicated feelings regarding smoking weed.

Here's a little background that references instances of what I then perceived to be a positive relationship with weed. Feel free to skip if this isn't what you're here for:

I'm almost 30 now, but in my early to mid 20s smoked a lot of flower and used my pen as a major crutch. I had gone through a breakup with a loser guy that met me when I was 15 and he was 23, he moved in with me when I was 19, and then cheated on me for 2.5 years of our 3.5 year relationship. He FORBADE me from smoking weed lol 🙃 and towards the end of the relationship, I had expressed interest in using it again (I partook in my teens) and he said it was him or weed. It felt so ridiculous at the time, but looking back I wish I had the audacity to say "yeah I'll take the plant over your sorry ass."

Anyway, I did enjoy the use of it again throughout my 20s and felt very curious and explorative, felt connected to my sense of self and felt more vibrant, erotic, and expressive, and I looked forward to my religious evening one-hitter, that eventually got replaced with my pen that I used excessively.

Later on around age 26, my access to weed became more limited, and I felt like I needed to be more intentional with it. I had experienced high levels of anxiety and depression for a while, and weed was just making it worse.

Now, since age 28, not only do I not really smoke weed anymore, but I also have stopped drinking alcohol. I never had any issues with alcohol, but I can absolutely tell I feel better without.

That said, is it okay to talk about other kinds of sober choices here?

Happy this community exists!

I hit 90 days clean of smoking weed a few months ago🎉I was smoking carts on the daily as much as I possibly could without interring with my responsibilities such as work and college classes. I ended up quitting for the nursing program that I start in August (bc I have to). Now I really think it’s best for me to stay quit for at least a year (if not longer)! I was way too reliant on weed for comfort and stress relief at any minor inconvenience. I am wondering for those ex-stoner who have also been quit for months, how are you feelings? I honestly still have very low energy, which disappoints me a lot💔I can sleep 10+ hours and I STILL want more because my eyelids and the rest of my body feels so heavy! I really hope this resolves itself soon, but I also feel like I’ve been coughing and wheezing so much more at night lately after hitting 2 months sober. Also, some of my old hobbies do not excited me anymore and I have zero motivation to partake in them (such as art). But on the bright side, I am a lot more productive and organized! My ADHD is waaaay more under control, my mood is more regulated, I don’t think abt my cart 24/7, and my luteal phase has slightly improved after hitting 2months sober(I have PMDD, but I’m on SSRI). If you have been sober for a few months too please share your experience. And those who are thinking about quitting here’s your sign🩵You’ve got this!

When I was struggling with quitting, people constantly told me things like, “You just need to find a new hobby to distract yourself and you’ll be fine.” Honestly, to me it sounded like complete bs at the time. But then I read Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s book “Flow: the psychology of optimal experience” and suddenly that advice started to make sense.

Flow is a state of consciousness when we are deeply focused on something. It’s that feeling when we feel joy and lose track of time. And we’re usually so productive in it. I’d say the high from weed might be very similar to this state, but it’s artificial.

It is said that the happiest people are those who spend the most time in flow. So the goal is to fill the schedule with as many engaging activities as possible. The hardest part is figuring out what those activities are. Another book “Designing your life” by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans suggests tracking your energy levels and flow activation for 2-3 weeks. The goal is to keep doing the things that boost your energy and lock you in, and eliminate the things that just drain or bore you.

Even SMART Recovery has a specific tool to help people in recovery explore new pursuits and passions. They recommend thinking back to the things we used to love before weed. For me that was tennis. You can brainstorm anything that can put you in that flow state. Like cooking, puzzles, biking, karaoke, swimming or whatever you genuinely enjoy

By the way, I’m participating in an amateur tennis tournament next week! I’m so excited about it. What about you? Have you found any new hobbies or gone back to old passions since you quit? I’d love to hear what puts you in the flow!

I've taken tolerance breaks of 1week-3 months over the last five years. I haven't been able to commit to more than a day or two off weed since my brother died last year. Everytime I try, I get so overtaken by emotions. And the events in the Middle East are effecting me so emotionally that I just run away with a joint.

It's one of the only ways I can 'calm' my mind, but its just an escape.

When I have taken breaks, I've become *even more* chatty and boarder line obnoxious. I have self loathing tenancies that take over if I'm not hypervigilant of my thought processes, but I get so damn overwhelmed.

I have sensory and auditory processing issues up the wazoo, over heat easily, am likely entering perimenopause, learned about the uteal phase through a post in the last week or two and am very grateful for any experiences I can learn from.

Im not great at responding, but I will definitely read everything! TIA

Hi all,

I’m in that stage of change where I know I have a problem, but I haven’t taken the second step. I guess I’m hoping posting here will help me to tip over into actually quitting weed. But then again I have very little faith I can actually do this, let alone any time soon.

So I’m just going to write down some wants and fears and see where that leads:

- I want to dream again. I can’t dream on weed. Sometimes, if I manage to sleep more more than 10hrs, I actually have disjointed dreams just before waking up. I used to dream so vividly. I used to feel like my brain really did work thru problems when I was dreaming. I really, really miss that.

- I wish I had hobbies. I wish my “hobby” wasn’t YouTube/reddit all night while high because the former aren’t stimulating enough alone.

- I’m afraid I’m just a dud of a person. I’m not very interesting or sociable, and without weed, I’ll finally have to grapple with that.

- I’m afraid I’ll be more sad/anxious once I’m sober. I don’t know how to calm down, especially from anger, without weed.

- I’m afraid I’ll start to have problems with sleep paralysis again. Part of how I developed my present addiction was in response to having sleep paralysis in my mid 20s (weed stopped the episodes).

- I’m afraid it’s too late. Afraid I’m stuck like this. I’m 37, I’ve been smoking daily since I was 25.

- I recently quit drinking, smoking/vaping nicotine, and sugary sodas. I never thought I could quit any. They were all similarly strong addictions as weed. I’d really like to feel that pride again, but with overcoming weed.

- Because weed is my last real vice, I’m afraid giving it up will mean relapse (particularly with smoking/vaping nicotine)

Anyway, that’s it. Sorry it’s boring.

I woke up today feeling so good. And I caught myself thinking that just recently I felt anxiety all the time, constantly debating with myself to smoke or not, dealing with a buzzy head and forcing myself to do anything.

But I’ve spent these past 2.4 years filling my life with new rituals, systems, habits and activities. And I finally feel calm and satisfied. I wish all of you here could feel this as well. And I know that EVERY one of you is strong enough to get there. You’re so cool girls!

P.S. Of course, I still think about weed sometimes and I still get cravings. Especially when I face triggers or stress. But I feel like something has shifted (I guess I finally proved to my brain that I can live without weed) and it’s just not a part of my life like it used to be. And if I could do it, you’ll do it as well!!!

I think this subreddit is amazing bc those with clean time can help those that are withdrawing or in their early sober days! We can build each other up instead of all the other bullshit. Women helping women!

I am now approaching the longest stint of clean time in my life. In 2017-2018 I went about 8-9 months without weed, but I still felt like crap and was frustrated that I could be clean for so long and not feel better yet. So I eventually went back to smoking daily.

Fast forward another decade or so and here I am today, 8 months 9 days clean from weed. I didn’t think I could ever get here again. I figured I would still be smoking when I was 80. I was in so deep.

Things change.

I am so fucking proud of my clean time. I quit so that I would test clean at the birth of my second child, whom I welcomed into the world this past March. He is my recovery baby and I have such a special bond with him knowing he may be the gift God sent me to get me clean once and for all. This pregnancy was my chance to see if I could live clean. AND I DID IT! No visit from the social worker at the hospital this time around! No home visits from CPS! 🥳

I also fucking love the feeling of having nothing to hide. I don’t have to worry if I need to call 911 because I’m not a drug user and don’t have to worry about things turning around on me for my illegal activities. I love knowing if I get in a car wreck and a police officer wants to give me a field sobriety test, I’ll pass. I love knowing that if anyone drug tests me for any reason at any time, I’ll pass. THIS IS FREEDOM!

I get tempted from time to time, but I just run that cost-benefit analysis as someone else posted about in here. I struggle with anxiety and weed is very tempting to solve anxiety problems. BUT, I know that weed is just a bandaid, and actually makes my anxiety worse in the long run. Is it worth trading my clean time to feel calm for 2 hours? And then have to keep smoking every 2 hours to maintain that artificial calm? Nah guy. I’ll pass.

An important lesson for me to learn as someone who no longer uses drugs to cope is that ANXIOUS FEELINGS WILL NOT KILL ME. I might feel uncomfortable, but am I going to die if I experience a moment of anxiety from time to time? No! Simple things often help the anxiety enormously, like engaging in movement (a walk, housework) or listening to music. You don’t need to drug yourself every time you feel a little uncomfortable. You’re going to get through it.

I had more to say but I’ll come back later to add more another time. Overall I give sobriety an A+. I attend NA meetings regularly so I feel much stronger in my resolve to not go back to weed compared to when I was this far along before (when I eventually relapsed). That makes all the difference for me because I’m engaged in a complete, spiritual program of recovery. I go to meetings, have a sponsor, have a home group, am of service, etc. I do the shit I need to do to stay clean. I’m damn proud of myself and everyone else who has embarked upon this journey.

WE ARE DOING THIS DAMN THING!

Hi Quees. Okay, I'm on my second attempt at breaking up with miss Mary Jane. I haven't been able to find any podcasts for women by a woman about quitting. I'm thinking of starting a podcast for support, solidarity and community for us and how different the process can look for us. Would yall listen? And have you found anything similar? Even YouTube doesn't really have what I'm looking for.

Anyways - strongs my lovies ♡ I'm proud of evey single one of you no matter where you are in your journey x

Not having to worry about smoking while having a sore throat. Not smoking while being sick is such a game changer. I am currently really sick with a head cold. Stuffy, sore throat, coughing. I'm not also inflaming my throat with weed every 2-3 hours. I am going to heal and get better so much faster.

And I've BEEN sick! This is a re- sickness because I was barely better so it has already been a few weeks of sickness. It sucks, but could suck so much more worrying about keeping my high.

Cheers to health. * Cough cough

An update on my previous post. I have two pieces of good news. My husband and I decided to give our relationship another chance and we're back together. And the second one, I didn't relapse while we were separated.

I just want to say a huge thank you for your support. When I felt like I was falling apart, the only thing that kept me sober was leaning on the people around me, including this sub. It is so incredibly important to have a community that steps up and gives you the exact support you need when you're on the edge.

Thank you all for being here!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I believe this is one of the most effective tools for us in recovery. Journaling is what finally helped me see the exact connection between my luteal phase and my urge to smoke.

I started logging my cravings every single day. I set aside some time before bed to write down the time, intensity, duration, the specific trigger, and even who I was with when the urge hit. After a couple of months, I saw that most intense cravings happened after my day job when I needed to relax, and during my luteal phase when my hormones made me irrationally angry.

I know it sounds tedious, but even just two weeks of journaling gives you so much data about your body and thought patterns. It makes the cravings feel more like a predictable symptom you can actually prepare for.

P.S. To make myself actually do it, I spent some time picking out a cute pink notebook and colorful pens so the process felt more satisfying. Sometimes the girly little things are what keep us sober lol.

Have you tried logging your cravings? Please give it a try if you haven’t.

I was writing about my relationship with my husband recently, that we got through a lot and had a real connection. I was really sure about it. But we had a big fight recently and decided to live apart and to think about everything.

And I feel terrible (he is not reading so I can say it out loud). Our life was such a habit. Yes, with problems, but a safe one. We did practically everything together and he was basically the one who supported me through withdrawals and everything.

I'm on edge right now. I want to smoke desperately. I mean, I'm in pain because of this situation and I want to escape. And I used to use weed for that. Or my husband's support. Now I have neither. I just don't know what to do yet. I'm trying my best not to relapse. I hope that your support can help me.

Yesterday I commented on a post and remembered about one of the most powerful exercises I learned when quitting weed- a CBT tool called cost-benefit analysis. It's a great practical task that can help in the long run, especially when it feels like your motivation is fading.

It’s important to be honest with yourself. Just write down what the short-term benefits of smoking are, and what the long-term costs will be.

As for me, weed helped me escape my stressful job, feel more confident and cheer me up. The long-term cost? It destroyed my memory, completely wrecked my hormonal cycle, ruined the quality of my sleep, kept me isolated from myself and my vision for the future and stopped me from actually fixing the things that were making me miserable in the first place.

When I did this exercise, I realized that weed is like a very bad loan with an incredibly high interest rate. Sometimes when I had cravings, I opened the note on my phone with my cost-benefit analysis and ask myself: Do I really want to trade a 30 minute high for such a cost?

I strongly recommend making a list like this for yourself. Read it when you need a reminder that you deserve long-term freedom. You can also write it down in comments

Two days ago I had my first tennis tournament and it was an awful experience. It was exhausting both mentally and physically. I just wanted it to stop. I was so tired after it, so I desperately wanted to smoke. 

I’m already used to the idea that desire to smoke will arise from time to time. And it doesn’t matter how many sober days you have. You just need to learn how to live with these thoughts. 

It sucks. When you think that it’s all over and you’re recovered. It’s a dangerous thought. As a craving arises out of nowhere. But the good thing is that the more sober days you have the easier to fight the craving. 

As for me, I was so tired and disappointed that I couldn’t find anything better than distracting myself with a glass of wine. Just decided to share with you, so you don’t think I’m a perfect one here. 

One of the worst physical withdrawal symptoms I dealt with in the first few weeks of quitting was the sweats. I had them mostly during the day and there's basically nothing you can do about it other than choosing your clothes properly. But one time, I woke up at 3 AM soaked, freezing and having to strip the bed. It really scared me.

I also noticed my sweat smelled different (sorry for the details) and sometimes it smelled like weed. I learned this is a good sign. THC is stored in our fat cells, so when we quit, our bodies go into overdrive trying to flush it out through our pores. Plus our hormones are rebalancing, which changes our body odor.

You can’t stop the detox, but here is the survival kit that actually got me through those days and nights:

• Tons of water and electrolytes during the day to maintain my water balance.

• Loose, cotton clothes so that the body and skin could breathe during the day.

• Sauna. I still don’t know for sure if it makes the process easier, but I just like it, so I go every week.

• Sleeping on a bath towel. I did this during a few wet nights so I wouldn't have to change the bedsheets in the middle of the night.

• Low temperature in the bedroom to reduce the sweating during the night.

• Workouts. I noticed that sweating during morning workouts reduces the sweating during the day.

It’s also said that hot yoga helps a lot. But honestly, that felt like torture to me, so I skipped it! Thankfully, I only experienced such noticeable sweating for about 2-3 weeks and returned back to normal pretty soon.

How about you? Did anyone else have a similar experience? What helped you?

I am on Day 36 and I visited some family today.

It felt really good to be present and even better seeing pictures of myself from tonight. I look a lot more awake, focused and happier. I haven’t told any one in my family that I’ve been going to MA meetings every day or that I’ve been struggling to quit the last 24 years. One day at a time. At the very least, I get to look at cute photos of myself with my baby nephew and know that I was fully there. Small wins, every day.

I just wrote recently about how calm and good everything was. And life immediately decided to challenge me.

First it was announced that our company got bought out and we're restructuring. It’s a huge amount of stress and some of my colleagues have already been fired.

And then my granny died. She had been ill for the last two months, but it was still so unexpected and incredibly sad. I just can’t stop thinking about her.

I’m under massive stress right now. I will be honest, I am drinking alcohol (moderately) just to cope with it all. The main thought behind everything I'm doing right now is just not to relapse on weed.

I’m trying my absolute best to get through this sober. Try to use all the advice I’ve written to cope with it. 

both my boyfriend and i are daily, heavy smokers. i can easily smoke 3/4 gram a day, he smokes a little less. we have decided we want to take a break for productivity reasons (aswell as the tolerance break🤣) he uses recreationally whereas i use to help with my ptsd and anxiety disorder, im hoping for at least 2 weeks sober and hes going for three months. it will be my first time being sober in 7-8 years where he has had periods of being sober. my question is whats the likelihood of our relationship suffering during the withdrawal stage and how can i avoid this? we are both aware of the withdrawals and have bought cbd oils and masgnesium sprays etc. is there any other bits of advice anyone has for us? <3

Hi everyone! I have already written about  PAWS (Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome) but I think that this theme is a core one and the reason for many relapses. So I want to dive into it more. 

The biggest trap of quitting weed happens around Day 45, 60, or even month 5. You survive the initial hell of detox, you start feeling great, and then suddenly... boom. You wake up one morning and feel like you are back on Day 5. The brain fog is back, the deep depression hits you out of nowhere, and the cravings are screaming at you. It’s all because of PAWS as it works like a wave.

There are these good days. You feel clear-headed, motivated, and happy. Your hormones feel balanced. Your dopamine is flowing naturally. It’s like an opened window. And then a wave crushes. Your dopamine drops. You feel exhausted, anxious, and deeply apathetic for a few days (or even weeks), even though you haven't smoked. It feels like a massive step backward. It is the exact moment when most people relapse because they feel so discouraged. But it is actually literal proof that your brain is healing and doing the hard work behind the scenes.

The most intense waves tend to happen in the first 6–12 months (for someone till 18 months). Later they usually become shorter, softer, and more rare. And the “window period” is brighter and clearer every time. 

I really hope that the knowledge will help someone to stay strong. I really believe that understanding the process makes it a little less scary and easier to get through. Sending you support and strength!