r/funny • u/sleepysnowboarder • May 13 '12
My friend thought it be fun to go on the "baby" swings at the park and this happened.....
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May 13 '12
I'm still trying to figure out what's going on. To me she doesn't look stuck at all. I wish sleepysnowboarder would come back and explain.
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u/hawkwings May 13 '12
You could try putting some sturdy boxes underneath her so she can stand on something and pull the swing down. Alternatively, you could dig a pit and flip her upside down.
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u/lmpervious May 13 '12
Why even dig a pit. I imagine if they flipped her so she was laying partially on her back, then they could just pull it off her. It really seems like she could also just slide out of her pants if she really needed to.
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u/haloimplant May 13 '12
That was my thought. If the person has something firm to stand on it shouldn't be too hard to push the swing down and off. I'm thinking milk crates would do nicely. She almost looks light enough to stand on a sturdy gentleman's back.
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u/SayceGards May 13 '12
What the fuck was she expecting?
She could have easily released herself, especially with the help of friend manning the camera.
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u/OutcastOrange May 13 '12
If a team of fire fighters couldn't get her out without cutting the swing down, what makes you think she could have gotten herself out?
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u/YourMasturbatingHand May 13 '12
If she's dumb enough to get herself stuck inside a baby swing, then I doubt that she's smart enough to get herself out of one, regardless of the simplicity of it (You know, just flipping her upside down, swing and all, and sliding out that way.)
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u/vertigo1083 May 13 '12 edited May 13 '12
I don't see how the idiot was resourceful enough to whip out the shitty camera on his phone, yet he couldnt run home (or to a friends house) to get a pair of shears or something.
Oh, but embarrassing her is waaaay more fun.
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May 13 '12
I don't see how she couldn't just be pulled out.. her legs are quite thin..
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u/AustinYQM May 13 '12
A pair of shears? I would rather call the firefighters then risk the fine/repair cost of a swing.
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u/Tapeworms May 13 '12
Why does calling the firefighters suddenly negate the cost of a repair? The swing was clearly designed for kids, they were misusing it, and broke it. They should pay, regardless if firefighters were called. Heck, they should pay more for wasting people's time.
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May 13 '12 edited May 13 '12
What. She doesn't even look stuck, did they really need to saw apart the swing ... Plus, I've done that before and I didn't get stuck. I'm 21.
Edit: Just to clarify, I did it recently, not when I was a baby
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u/adrianmonk May 13 '12
I have also done that and not gotten stuck. I am 40. However, it wasn't recently. But I'm sure I was much closer to 21 than 0 when I did it.
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u/Cadvin May 13 '12
I imagine I swung on these all the time at some point between years 0 and 21.
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u/memeaddictedchick May 13 '12
Not to mention she has little legs. They can easily slip in, they can easily slip out. I don't even see where the fun is in this. lol I tried it and you're just uncomfortable and you can't move
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May 13 '12
I assume the firefighters attempted to pull her out first. She was probably more stuck than it looks.
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u/Vocalist May 13 '12
I've also done it, took a while & some frustration tears BUT HERE I AM, out of the swing.
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u/Pants_R_Overatd May 13 '12
Even more proof that most Redditors are twelve.
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u/wesman212 May 13 '12
So I can't bang?
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u/Pants_R_Overatd May 13 '12
Well...technically....yeah...but, and I'm not entirely sure about this so just bear with me, that might be slightly illegal.
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u/nastshabast May 13 '12
You fucking retards.
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u/Givants May 13 '12
As a retard, I take that offensively.
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May 13 '12
Yeah. My mom works for the small city I grew up in. Park equipment is extremely expensive. That one swing is at least $50. Sure that's not a ton of money, but for a small city, park equipment is at the bottom of the list.
And it's not usually the small things like a swing that retarded teenagers break. It's the drinking fountains, spring rockers, and diggers.
Edit: I can't tell if they're cutting her out of it or not... She can still fuck right off.
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u/nichlas482109 May 13 '12
mention the cost of the $50 swing, ignore the fact firefighters showed up to help her out....
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May 13 '12
My grandma donated a swingset to a park. She said she felt good doing it. She's a good person.
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u/Willie_Main May 13 '12
That upvote I gave you was for her. You had better fucking give it to her...
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u/doopercooper May 13 '12
$50, That's a HBC (High Back Combo) seat, more like $100 http://www.a-project-playground.com/comm.seats.htm
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May 13 '12
... because the city isn't going to send her a bill for the cost of the swing and cost to fix/replace? If the city council isn't smart enough to do that, they're more retarded than the girl is.
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May 13 '12
What gets me is that they aren't just flipping her over and sliding her out. Sure, she might have to lose the pants for it to work, but if a bunch of firemen end up seeing her panties, that's the price she pays for being a nitwit.
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u/feynmanwithtwosticks May 13 '12
Yeah, that's totally what they should have done...except paramedics and EMT-B's are trained to NOT cause greater injury to the people they are providing aid to. So the girl has been stuck in the swing for a while, likely struggled to get out on her own and with her friends for a while to avoid the embarrassment of calling 911, and since she couldn't get out it is clear that the swing was causing tampenade. So, maybe she has had decreased arterial perfusion and venous return for, lets say an hour, along with the panic at being stuck causing a massive adrenal response.
Do you know the potential risks in such a situation. Now 80% they could probably pull her (or cut her out as it is much lower risk) with no problem, but 20% of the time there could be a big Damn problem. First she could go into hemodynamic or neurogenic shock before they ever get her out, which would kill her pretty good (and "flipping her upside down" would make this worse). Because if the venous pooling she could have developed a clot, especially with the sympathetic activation and increased complement cascade readiness that goes with it, and oops, you just gave her a massive pulmonary or cerebral embolism so now she is dead or in a coma. And of course when you have decreased oxygen perfusion in an extremity for prolonged periods it causes massive ischemia (tissue death), and when that extremity is under tampenade the blood can't clear the cellular byproducts they build up in the limb, and those byproducts are extremely toxic (look up Rhabdomyolisis) and if the kidneys can't get rid of them gradually like with normal blood flow the toxins hit the kidney all at once and, boom, acute renal failure, shock, multisystem organ dysfunction and death. And there is the obvious risk of tissue death and gangrene, now she's a double amputee.
Clearly that $50 dollar swing is FAR more valuable than some girl that made a mistake while goofing off APD didn't think through all of the consequences. I mean, anyone that would do something that places themselves and public property at risk, just because they are having a good time and playing around with friends, doesn't actually deserve proper medical care, or even deserve to live really...I mean that swing could run as much as $50, and when the government in a revenue crisis.
Personally, with your forward thinking ideas and policy of valuing property over human life and dignity, we have got to get you into public office.
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u/Wikiplugs May 13 '12
Agreed, they should be protecting the park equipment. Cut into her pants, tear them off, grease up her legs and flip her upside down. All the while the OP should have been filming to post here. Wasted opportunity IMHO.
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u/fgn89 May 13 '12
Couldn't someone have just lifted her out and thus avoiding cutting up park equipment?
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u/EatingSteak May 13 '12
Somehow I have a feeling they thought of that during the 15 or so minutes they were waiting for the FD to show up. Also, for the same reason a ring isharder to get off your finger when you force it, your legs can get swollen when there's a lot of pressure on them, making it harder to get out than it was when you hopped in.
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u/amheekin May 13 '12
Chill out. It was an accident and teenagers are too self-absorbed to think about shit like how expensive a park swing is. Sucks but we were all like that once. It was an accident.
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May 13 '12
This happened to a family friend many years ago. The police came and they had to pull her out of the swing. Needless to say I thought it was the funniest thing ever.
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u/Mavman31 May 13 '12
Although I never did this, you can honestly say you never did stupid things as a teenager?
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u/TheMag May 13 '12 edited May 13 '12
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u/NinjaScenester May 13 '12
e_e you'd think he'd just wait until it's gone to pull it out. Fucking retard.
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u/HITLARIOUS May 13 '12
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May 13 '12
Huh. Seems I'm banned from SRS. TIL.
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u/lostrock May 13 '12
Me too. I'm not sure how I've displeased them. Perhaps because I post in SubredditDrama and they're leery of the people there.
That place must have banned more people than /r/Pyongyang.
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u/mrsamsa May 13 '12
The weird thing is that the person who posted the link to SRS seems to be upset about the fact that nastshabast "attack[ed] her with profanity and slurs" rather than the slightly more understandable position of being upset that someone is using the term "retard" as an insult.
I know SRS is a self-admitted circlejerk and can get a bit insane, but I thought their underlying aim was to highlight the naive bigotry of redditors and to present themselves as a kind of mirror to all the homophobia, sexism, racism, ableism, etc? When did it become about trying to stop people saying "mean" things about others on the internet?
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u/i_suck_at_reddit May 13 '12
It's pretty funny when you consider 90% of the comments on SRS posts are just that--attacking people with profanity and slurs. But it's somehow okay when they do it. They also love to intentionally troll the comment threads they're discussing.
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u/stumpyraccoon May 13 '12
Fuck me I wish I had never heard of that place. It makes me hate the universe so much more. What I wouldn't do for a cancer gun!
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u/Longtimelurker8379 May 13 '12
Retard children. When did reddit start filling up with 12 year olds who think this kind of shit is funny/cool?
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u/jeblis May 13 '12
There's tons of videos on youtube of people getting stuck in these.
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May 13 '12
stupid is as stupid does
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u/craxkheadjenkins May 13 '12
For some reason I read this as "stupid ass hoe"
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u/Repealer May 13 '12
U A STOOPID HOE U A U A STOOPID HOE (STOOPID STOOPID)
U A STOOPID HOE U A U A STOOPID HOE (STOOPID STOOPID)
U A STOOPID HOE U A U A STOOPID HOE (STOOPID STOOPID)
~Nicki Minaj
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u/freddit52 May 13 '12
how many firefighters were really necessary for this caliber of emergency?
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May 13 '12
You can't just send out one firefighter on a bicycle with a box of tools.
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May 13 '12
In fairness, for all I love mocking the average hose monkey ...
They usually send the whole truck to these " non emerg" calls so that if a " real" call comes in immediately after or during, they don't have to waste time heading back to base to pick people up,
That, and they don't want to miss a shot at getting their pic in the paper ;)
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u/LieutenantJB May 13 '12
And we firemen love to see stupidity so we can laugh at them when we get back.
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u/red321red321 May 13 '12
time to whip out the jaws of life to get this girl outta her chastity belt swing
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u/EatingSteak May 13 '12
Imagine...
"Hey guys, some idiot just got stuck doing _____, who wants to come see?"
If it plays out like I'd imagine it would, I think you'll end up with a lot more volunteers than an essential crew.
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u/saltymirv May 13 '12
Your friend is 8 years old?
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u/CoIeo May 13 '12
I feel like this is what should be focused on. Thank you, I thought I was going crazy with none of the comments pointing this out.
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May 13 '12 edited May 13 '12
Better check your agedar she's at least 14.
Edit: space between age and dar
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May 13 '12
Just flip it upside down....
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u/VeniVidiUpVoti May 13 '12
she would probably come right out of the sweats if you did...
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Im just going to have a seat right over there
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u/orangefreshy May 13 '12
I don't understand how whoever was taking the picture couldn't just like lift her out or lean over and have her hold on and drag her out. Or, lift her by her feet, hold the swing and have her lean back and slide out backwards onto the soft sand. Yeah it's ungraceful, but a lot less embarrassing than having firefighters come out.
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u/whiteoutz May 13 '12
This confirms one thing. I have no idea what it takes to get on the front page of Reddit. Its either this (of which I have no fucking clue what I'm looking at and why it is incredibly funny)....or there is a cat in the pic i can't see.
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u/spider2544 May 13 '12
She should have just slipped out of her pants. If she flipped upside down she could have wiggle out pretty easily im betting.
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u/rvm4488 May 13 '12
That would have required thinking on her part which doesn't seem to be her strong point.
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u/arcadeguy May 13 '12
Watching a bunch of 20+ year old guys on the internet berate teenagers for being stupid is pretty much the saddest thing ever.
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u/andmytax May 13 '12
If you find that sad, you should probably get off the internet...
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u/kralrick May 13 '12
Not that you're wrong, but I think it says more about the internet than it does about arcadeguy.
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May 13 '12
I'm sorry, would you like us to commend her on her ingenious plan to ruin public property?
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u/Pre-Owned-Car May 13 '12
It seems like it would be easy, but I took about 25 minutes to remove myself from one of these when I was 12. I really thought I was going to be stuck there until I finally managed to pull my legs past a certain point where they were stuck. This was with the help of friends.
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u/kent_stor May 13 '12
I've done this before. Got completely stuck and actually started to panic. My brother just ran away laughing at me to go play on the slide and somehow I managed to wiggle myself out about ten minutes later.
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u/SoAwkward_ May 13 '12
To me, it seems like she could have easily gotten out. It just looks like her pants would have came down too. Maybe she didn't want that to happen?
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u/GastricPigeon May 13 '12
I was once playing a high school junior football game when I was in grade 9. This school had a park right across a chain-link fence from the field. While the offense was on, I saw that these two girls were up to something funny so I watched. One of the girls was pretty skinny (not bad looking, actually) and the other one was a bit chubby. Not like full-on fat, but definitely not skinny. The skinny girl jumped into the baby swing, swung for a while, then hopped out, no problem. The fatter girl tried the same, but had much worse luck; she couldn't get herself out of the swing. This all happened in the first quarter of the game.
Around halftime, the EMTs that are at every game went over and had a look at this girl in distress. They talked to them and tried to help her escape, but to no avail. They walked back to their ambulance laughing and called it in. By this time both teams have caught on and were standing at the fence watching these girls in their situation during their downtime, absolutely humiliating the girl in the swing.
The end of the game rolls around and so does a firetruck. They pull out the Jaws of Life as the we all shake hands and we stay a while to wait for our bus. It turns out that they had to cut her out of the swing, then sent her back with a bill for all the repairs they would have to do on the swing. It was possibly one of the funniest moments of my life.
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u/jackc5755 May 13 '12
I work for a fire service and you'd be surprised how often (retarded) people get stuck in swings. Just rest assured that no matter how professional they were when they rescued you, they were laughing their asses off at your stupidity the moment they left.
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u/IM_ACTUALLY_A_BEAR May 13 '12
I'm pretty sure the firefighters tried flipping her over, pulling her out etc. damage to property is taken pretty seriously if it can be helped, and at my department we'd definitely try our other options before tearing up the swingset. I'm sure they did too.
it's like a saying we have. if someone is stuck in there car after a TA and might need to be cut out, we always simply...try just opening the door first. "try before you pry" it applies to swingsets too.
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u/ArbitraryPerseveranc May 13 '12
What's going on there? I'd assume she somehow got stuck and they're cutting her off the swing first before trying to cut the seat off her. She looks like she's 10 and she's not fully seated in it, so how on earth could she get that stuck?
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u/rahtin May 13 '12
I could have done the same thing with an exacto knife.
Do none of you have a father or older brother?
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u/Kilgannon_TheCrowing May 13 '12
Well she doesn't exactly look like the sharpest tool in the shed...
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u/PrinceofSpades May 13 '12
She can clearly get out herself here too, it would just hurt initially and she might have needed a friends' help.
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May 13 '12
Last time I swung on a baby swing was 19 years ago and I'm almost 21. You know why? Because I'm not a dumbass.
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u/jesse_h May 13 '12
Did they hold an all night vigil for her? With a benefit concert headlined by Sting?
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u/J_Jammer May 13 '12
That's a great use of tax money.
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u/Nineteenth May 13 '12
They're wasting your money anyway, why bother bitching about it?
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u/YoloTolo May 13 '12
LOL this shit happened when i was 7 or 8 and it was a high chair at taco bell. weeeee.....
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u/Grape_Salad May 13 '12
More story?
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May 13 '12
Teenage girl decides she'll be hilarious and use a swing that's too small for her. She gets a bit stuck. She won't hurt herself and face a bit of embarrassment by just forcing her way out (She can do it by the way; I'm a grown man and have been in the exact same situation). So, her friends call the fire department and they easily get her out by simply taking the swing apart. Pretty easy to tell what's going on.
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u/mentions_the_obvious May 13 '12
No no, this is Reddit. That scenario is too bland and obvious; lets spruce it up a bit.
"Teenage girl, in her drunken stupor, takes a journey to the park with her buddy - OP. OP, who happens to be a male, is strongly attracted to her. Both intoxicated, OP decides to take a step forward - he asks her to be more than friends.
She laughs, says no, and feels like he's more of a brother than a romantic option. After his baby step into the friendzone, OP is absolutely crushed, and the effects of alcohol quickly fade away. Oblivious to the heartbreak she caused, teenage girl continues exploring the playground, while OP tragically follows, doing his best to maintain an amiable composure.
While exploring the playground, they find a cat that was abandoned due to its autism. Teenage girl takes a picture, thinking its cute.
At the merry-go-round they encounter a group of stoners, one of which is an acquaintance of the teenage girl. He offers her a smoke, and she promptly obliges. After sweet inhalation, she braids her hair to a merry-go-round spoke and demands for them to spin it. They do, and she's dragged 3 feet by the hair in a circle. [9]
OP, feeling a little guilty for allowing and enjoying her self depricating antics, frees her and they continue. They pass by a church that says "Please join us on Sunday and experience God's eternal love!" They quickly and justly throw rocks at it.
Bypassers witness the vandalism and immediately call the police, unbeknownst to OP and teenage girl.
A homeless man, whose camp was the playground's tunnel slide, observes the 9/11 call and scampers towards the teenage miscreants, yelling "YOU. ARE. FUCKED."
He then informs them of the impending doom, and advises them to run south towards the swings, because the cops will come from the north. Before their departure, the homeless man points to an empty McDonald's bag with no crumbs by the trash and says "If you do this, fuck you."
OP and teenage girl run as fast as they can and make it to the swings just as the flashing, seizure inducing lights of the American flag light up the park around them. Still high and mildly inebriated, teenage girl screams she doesn't want to go to prison. OP desperately tries to calm her down and persuade her to move forward but in her panic, teenage girl becomes immobilized.
The police advance and demand that the two of them stand still, put their hands up, and prepare to be arrested. They were brutal, irrational and oppressive. Teenage girl resists and refuses! In her defiance, she nimbly runs and places herself in a baby swing, screaming "YOU MUST TAKE ME AGAINST MY WILL," like a turtle being assaulted by a shark. OP submits to the police in the meantime.
The police advance upon teenage girl and attempt to force her out, but her defiant positioning is effective - she wont and cant budge.
Law enforcement call the fire department and teenage girl is gradually plucked from her sanctuary of resistance. OP takes a picture, seeking revenge for her unjust friendzoning."
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u/Bad_Explanation May 13 '12
So much Reddit... inside a hilarious made up story...
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u/goblinpiledriver May 13 '12
I think calling the fire department for help is more embarrassing than forcing herself out.
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u/Leraxe May 13 '12
God she's hot. Good thing they got her out of there before I arrived.
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u/fjellfras May 13 '12
I see blue hands back there. Looks like the contractors finally caught up with River.
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u/MSUKirsch May 13 '12
I'm a 6'1" 240lb male and I went on the baby swings, drunk, no less than 2 weeks ago and had absolutely no problem.
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u/SweetBabyJesusOnFire May 13 '12
"Oh shit, a minor stuck in a baby swing? Better get these gloves on..."
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u/darkly39r May 13 '12
This happened to a friend of mine too. Don't fuck around with those baby swings.
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u/ludvigsra May 13 '12
Where s that World Star Hip Hop video of the black kid stuck in one of these? I swear that kid thought he'd never get out
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May 13 '12
Not the dumbest extrication I've seen... although if she was there for an extended period of time with bloodflow issues she could get "hanging syndrome" which can kill you.
I had a kid who got his leg stuck between two trees... took 3 firetrucks, an ambulance, and 3 cops to get him out
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u/louster200 May 13 '12
possibly your friend's most embarrassing moment ever take picture and put it on reddit.
Great friend.
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u/wesleyt89 May 13 '12
I bet that guy was all "give me a dollar or I wont get you out". Thats what I would do anyways.
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u/Xxtesttubebabyxx May 13 '12
This happened to my sister, except she tried flipping upside down to get out of the swing. Then her pants got caught in the swing and she was stuck there upside down with no pants on. True story.
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u/DannyOcean148 May 13 '12
She doesn't really look that stuck. I think she could have gotten out without 2 firefighters.