He said no and that I have been black listed ... what a good man kept his fuckin word.

I smoked weed because I thought it helped me relax. I thought weed made television more entertaining, food more delicious, my bed more comforting, my sleep deeper. I thought weed allowed me to laugh more. I thought weed allowed me to take the edge off after (or during) a long day. I thought weed let me connect and chill with friends. I thought weed made me cool. I thought weed was a miracle cure to the anxiety, sadness, and loneliness that I felt.

Instead, weed made me doze off during a show. Weed made me eat until my stomach hurt, or worse, order delivery food and then fall asleep before it arrived. Weed made me stress about how much I had left in my stash, and when and how I would get more. Weed had me skipping obligations or ignoring emails at work, which left me more stressed. Weed had me draining my bank accounts. Weed kept me awkward and not truly present. Weed had me texting my dealer while I was at dinner with friends, eager to leave them so I could rush home in time to pick up before he was off for the night. Weed kept me disconnected and isolated. Weed kept me dependent on it to fall asleep, and then waking up groggy and unrested. In the end, the consequences of my weed use kept me anxious, sad, and lonely.

Today I am happy to say that I am 638 days sober and I no longer am held back by weed. Today I am free. A new life is possible as long as you want and work for it. Today I am relaxed, happy, and feel more loved than I ever have before and that’s all thanks to my sobriety.

I'm at day 19. I was cleaning up a small accident I had in my kitchen when I found an old grinder. Enough weed inside for a small joint. At first I was going to just throw it away. But I also found rolling papers. My stoner self must have forgotten about this secret stash. I rolled one. A skinny one (because I deserved this one, but I'm not sure if I want to smoke it all in one sitting) While looking for a lighter, I saw my reflection on a window. I had crazy eyes. I don't want crazy eyes.

I unrolled the joint, I let everything go down the drain. I washed the grinder, and gently placed into the trash can. No regrets, no anger. The reflection smiled back

I'm at day 19. Still clean. Today I won't smoke.

So I've seen some people expressing frustration with mediation here on /r/leaves -- in the words of /u/tommybahami123:

"It’s kind of tough in the sense that I get distracted while attempting to clear my mind or everything."

And from /u/jonny070389:

"I’ve just given up on the meditation, my mind just goes off on crazy tangents."

So as someone who has meditated for many years, and credits meditation with making my life an easier place to live, I thought I'd pass along my thinking on it. (thanks to the Leavers above for the inspiration to write this.)

To me, saying "I've given up on meditation because my mind goes off on crazy tangents" is like saying "I've given up on working out because my heart rate goes up and I start breathing hard."

Your mind going off on crazy tangents is exactly what you meditate to experience, and beginning to learn how to guide those tangents back to peace is exactly what you're there to learn.

Everybody's mind goes off on crazy tangents. That's why mediation is something you have to learn how to do, and why learning how to do it can take a long time.

My first suggestion is that you begin meditation with an attitude that it's something you are going to experience,, not something you are going to do. Saying that it's something you are going to do makes it a job, or a chore, or a skill you feel you have to develop, and that's more than a little ambitious when you're just starting out.

My suggestion is that you sit quietly in a comfortable position, in a darkish but not pitch black room, and set a timer for ten minutes. Tell yourself, "That voice in my head is always yammering away at me -- for the next ten minutes I'm going to listen to it."

Then, just sit quietly and listen to it. Try not to guide it, try not to make mental notes on what it's saying, try not to tell yourself you'll have to remember that for later, just sit quietly and listen.

Then, when the alarm goes off, go on with your day. If you can, try not to process what you heard -- don't think, "wow, I really obsessed about work" Just let that ten minute session go and move on with your day.

Do that for a week.

In your second week, you get to actively choose somthing to help yourself. Set your timer, and choose something simple and repetitive to concentrate on. Some people focus on their breathing -- the actual sensation of air moving through their nose or throat. Other people count slowly and quietly to three or five in their head. Choose what makes sense for you. It should be peaceful and repetitive.

Then, in your ten minutes, let your thoughts rest on that repetitive idea. "<inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale>" or "<one...two...three...one...two...three...>" whatever you chose. You will, nearly immediately, lose control of that, and your chatty thoughts will intrude. When that happens, simply think quietly -- "those were other thoughts, I want to go back to my peaceful repetition." And return to whatever you chose.

This losing of focus will happen ten or a hundred times during your session. Quietly guiding yourself back to your repetitive place is what you are there to teach yourself. Don't get frustrated on how many times it happens, just note it, remark to yourself that it happened, and return you your peaceful repetition.

This is the only task and only work of meditation. Noting when your thoughts have strayed and returning yourself to peaceful repetition.

I have been meditating for nearly 20 years now, and as you practice your inner thoughts intrude fewer and fewer times, and when they do you are very experienced at returning to a place of peace.

And, as you might suspect, the skills I've learned in meditating begin to extend outside of my meditation session. I've learned how to be much more aware of my inner dialog, and I'm much more capable of noting what it is saying, separating myself from it, and keeping it from taking automatic influence over my thoughts and actions.

I hope this made sense. Feel free to AMA if something wasn't clear.

"Weed isnt addictive, I can quit whenever I want."

-A weed addict, who doesnt understand how addiction works. You'll never WANT to quit.

"Weed ain't never hurt nobody, I've held down a full time job at Walmart for the past 5 years and I'm paying my bills, how can you say weed is slowing me down?"

-A person who is completely content with where they are in life, and lacks any motivation or drive needed to move forward with any endeavors.

Every person, at some point in their life, will come to the realization.. that there is no growth in comfort. How old you are when you reach that point, is completely up to you.

The thing stoners dont understand is, weed possesses absolutely ZERO short-term flaws. The damage it does to your life happens slowly over time.. and you'll be too high to notice it.

It doesnt ruin your reality, the real danger is how it makes you extremely comfortable in your current reality.

That's why alot of people up here reflect on how they stayed in the same place in life for years because of this habit.

Weed is a coping method. You had a bad day? Hit a blunt, you'll feel better. Long day at work, at a job you hate? Hit a blunt, you'll forget all about it. You're sober now, time to go back to work at the job you hate, take a pen with you.. you can be high all day and the day will float right by.

When you are sober, you have a fire within you that burns for better at all times. When you are high, you're numb, you're content.

When you're sober at that job you hate, after a long weekend of being stoned and complacent.. reality hits you like a truck. You feel everything. All the little shit you typically will glaze over, will eat away at you. You feel all the things that make you want more for yourself. This is how the habit can affect your drive.

I stayed in the same, mediocre spot for 4 years because of how content I was.. One time I was blessed with a good job, but the hours prevented me from smoking and chilling like i wanted to, so as a result.. I was constantly calling in sick so I could have that time to smoke and chill.

This is why many successful people say weed is a luxury for those who have already made it to where they want to be in life.

I understand why. It's a drug that can keep you stagnant.

If you want to quit, my advice is to ask yourself, how bad do you want more? More out of life. More from yourself. This drug doesn't serve you, and it never will. Right now.. you are a slave to your mind, and your mind is a slave to this habit.. that makes you mentally weak. Are you content with this? No? Then keep reading.

All you have to do, is have the balls to acknowledge that you have a problem, and simply.. take back control.

Have the balls to take back control of your mind.

Have the balls to take back control of your body.

Have the balls to take back control of your time.

Have the balls to take back control of your LIFE.

No one can do this for you, only you can. Realize shit like this is supposed to be tough, if this was a perfect world.. everyone would be free. But despite whatever cozy, comfort bubble your weed habit has put you in.. the world is not perfect, and this is not going to be easy.

Personal battles like this are what separates the mediocre from the great.

Just ask yourself, do you want to stay who you are for the next 5 years? Or do you want to strive for greatness?

You decide.

Being bored by default is not a flaw. Its a feature.

Your body is meant to be bored of not doing anything so that you'd clean your room, take out the trash, video games, sports, walk outside, explore or whatever.

Being bored activates a motivation to do something. If you're high, you're happy not doing anything.

Its no wonder you don't "feel" like you wanna go out for a walk or clean your room or see a friend. You're "fine" and "happy" smoking in your room watching random youtube videos.

The cure to boredom? ENGAGE the world, and start DOING. It's what you've used to do as a kid, before you started smoking this wretched leaf.

Happy new year and may you have years of peaceful sobriety ahead.

Jim Carrey on weed: “I’ve had an addiction to pot from time to time. A compulsion to it. It all stems from how much pressure you’re under. If you’re under a lot of pressure a joint feels so good to get off the planet that you just might decide to do it for a couple of months. I’ve had periods of time like that, but I don’t create anymore. That’s the trouble and that’s what’s always kept me away from going down that road too far is that I notice I stop painting. Figuratively, I stop creating and I stop being social. I’m like Richard Pryor on fire for the first week. People are crippled by my humor I’m so free, and then I just shut down and I go away. It’s no good for me”

Hi everybody! Today is twenty-two years without drugs or alcohol, and I'm living proof that even though it can feel impossible to change when you are in active addiction, just the simple act of asking someone for help can start you on the road to getting better.

I am also living proof that life has unimaginable rewards waiting for you if you do.

I've read every single one of your posts and comments, every day, since the subreddit started. A reddit search engine says that's well over 800,000, and every single day each one of you reminds me why we all come here to help each other.

I'm proud of each one of you, and have complete confidence that no matter how you might feel at this moment in time, your future is setting itself you be a happy, optimistic, and truly wonderful place.

If you have any questions I might be able to answer about me, the sub, recovery, or whatever you like feel free to ask.

Thank you all for the inspiration you give me every day.

EDIT: Wow, thank you so much for the replies! I will get to every one, I promise, it just might take me a little time. Stay tuned!

It is undeniably relaxing at first. All of the little tasks and decisions throughout your day require alertness, but weed allows you to simply go through the motions. These daily tasks seem trivial when you are high, and the mind is at ease without having to fully contemplate every decision.

Over the long term, these decisions add up. They amass into who you are. If every decision revolves around returning to comfort and getting high, you WILL avoid challenging decisions and tasks. The harder routes provide learning and progression towards long term rewards, but these routes WILL be avoided for the most comfortable short term route of escaping with smoking.

In other words, weed autopilot smooths your path into the easiest route possible. You avoid challenges, you avoid conflict, but in doing so you avoid development over the long term. We as humans are not meant to coast through life. We are here in this subreddit because we recognize we cannot moderate our consumption. If we are consistently high over a long period of time, we lose our sense of self to the ease of autopilot:

Autopilot will choose to remain in the familiarity of a toxic relationship rather than face the conflict and discomfort of leaving.

Autopilot will choose to endure your job week after week rather than striving towards the next step in your career.

Autopilot will choose not to learn a new hobby rather than face embarrassment and failure during the learning process.

Overall, weed autopilot will choose boredom over activity, familiarity over new opportunities, and ease over discomfort. We must embrace discomfort, embrace opportunity, and turn off the autopilot so that we can once again embrace life.

Stan: I've been told a lot of things about pot, but I've come to find out a lot of those things aren't true! So I don't know what to believe!

Randy: Well, Stan, the truth is marijuana probably isn't gonna make you kill people, and it most likely isn't gonna fund terrorism, but… well, son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored. And it's when you're bored that you should be learning some new skill or discovering some new science or being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you aren't good at anything.

Weed is just the gateway to a cheap dopamine lifestyle. Come on, guys—most people sit, eat, scroll through social media, watch porn (or have quick sex with their partner), eat again, smoke again, binge TV, reels or TikTok. These behaviors bombard the dopamine system, especially when combined with smoking. Saying no to weed means saying no to that entire lifestyle, which is why many people struggle to quit. Letting it go often feels like killing a part of yourself, especially if it’s been a big part of your life for a while. Big hug brothers

One of my best friends who I've been smoking with on a near weekly basis for 8-9 years hit me up tonight to discuss recent drama in his life.

99% of the time we meet we smoke. Sometimes he brings sometimes I bring. But we almost always smoke. It's what began our friendship.

He told me he has new rolling papers for me. The transparent ones that I like.

I told him I stopped smoking 2 weeks ago in an effort to better myself but don't mind he smokes.

A second later he texts me saying he totally understands.

We met. He smoked. He didn't offer. I didn’t ask for a puff. I am still 2 weeks sober.

It was fine.

We are still friends.

Even better friends than before

Hey everybody! As I said in the title, my name is Dave, and on July 15th, 1998 I checked myself into an outpatient rehab program in New York City and started my journey toward sobriety.

I was what is usually called a polyaddict, my drugs of choice were alcohol, weed, opiates, and psychedelics. I would use the alcohol, weed, and opiates every day, and psychedelics of various kinds about three times a week. But it was the weed that was my real drug of choice. It’s what I craved most when I used and missed most when I quit.

When I started rehab I was deeply in debt, had isolated myself from my friends and family, and was deep in depression and crippled by anxiety. It was not a fast road back, but when I got clean, the life that was dripping out started to drip back in. I became more capable, more caring, and more focused on things than just when I would use next.

Since then I’ve had a career I could not have imagined as the Chief Creative Officer of digital agencies, including running Lady Gaga’s digital team, I re-met and married the woman I was meant to marry (we went to high school together), and I am something I never could have imagined when I was using – happy and content in the life I’ve built.

Twelve years ago I made a post on r/trees that I was starting a subreddit for people who decided they wanted to quit smoking weed and were having trouble. We’re now nearly 300,000 members on reddit and nearly 11,000 people on Discord, and I have read very nearly every post and comment each of you had made since the start.

I started this, but you created it, and you make me proud of you every single day.

Now, I think it’s time to take Leaves from two online communities to an organization that can help as many people around the world as our resources allow. To that end, I’ve taken a few steps to create a foundation for that growth:

• I have trademarked the Leaves name across a few key categories. I wanted to protect the name from people who might want to use it in a way that isn’t consistent with our mission or values. I am also hoping to make millions selling Leaves t-shirts and hats. :-)

• I have started a non-profit organization so we can start soliciting grants and donations to expand our reach to more people who may need us. People both on the group and in real life have asked me about donating to help and I’ve had to put them off, now we can approach others to help.

• I have started a web site at http://leaves.community to act as our hub. Although we’ll keep moving forward with reddit and Discord, my hope is that we can launch meeting directories, live chat, and forums to bring us all together and reduce our reliance on outside sites.

My focus is reach and growth -- to get our group to as many people around the world as need us. To that end, the other thing you will find on the website is, yes, a donation button.

I feel like I have taken the groups as far as I can as just me. We have nearly 20 volunteers who all make incredible contributions, but volunteers need to be coordinated, code needs to be written, content needs to be generated, and new ideas need to be built. If you are able to donate, cash or crypto, I promise to put every penny and coin to good work.

My sobriety and how it led to Leaves has been an immesurable gift in my life, and I want to thank you all for your contribution to that gift. I love each and every one of you and will try to make you proud as we grow.

– Dave

Well I quit weed when I was 25. When I was 30 I still was the jobless virgin. I am 36 now and thankfully I have girlfriend and a good job. But it took me many years to realise what the problem really was. Here a few words of advice for you.

If you quit weed and replace it with videogames nothing is going to be better.

If you quit weed and replace it with pornography, nothing is going to be better.

If you quit weed and you get your dopamine kicks from any shit or bad behaviour, nothing is going to change.

You need to come to a point where your body releases dopamine when you work torwards a goal. Thats it. So first and foremost you have to exercise, you have eat more healthy, you have to meet people and you have to work torwards a goal.

Alright i think that was a pretty stupid post but anyway, all i want to say is dont think quitting weed by itself is going to make you Arnold Schwarzenegger. Alright have a nice day.

• It wasn’t about the weed. I was addicted, but if it wasn’t weed, it would’ve been something else. The weed wasn’t the problem, it was covering the problem, and the problem was my identity.

• I deserve to be happy, but not for doing nothing. Life will not change through a thought, an intention, or a wish, only through action.

• I didn’t need to figure out every trauma that got me here before I moved forward.

• Sadness and anger are okay. Anger often makes change the only option.

• Guilt and shame are dead end toxic feelings. The best way to not feel guilt and shame is to stop doing the thing that makes me feel guilty and ashamed.

• Every time I got high, I told myself it was the last time because that shame and guilt in the moment was an easier cycle to fall into than changing my life.

• I smoked because I felt unsafe. Whether that lack of safety manifested through loneliness, grief, boredom, anger, anxiety, or self hatred didn’t matter. Instead of soothing, I punished myself over and over again.

• I’ve been punished enough.

• I told myself hundreds of stories as to why I smoked: how lonely I was, how I couldn’t process or face early loss and trauma, how I needed to feel creative, to be social, to be fun…and they were all just stories. The truth is I was unhappy, I hated myself, and I felt uncomfortable in my body.

• The feelings I tried to avoid with weed were still there, just masked. When the high wore off, they were worse.

• I felt more fun than ever after a few weeks when I spent years thinking I needed to be high to be social. (ie, didn’t have social anxiety; was just high)

• I couldn’t comprehend the space weed took up in my life until it was gone. I reclaimed hours out of each day, my relationships, money, skin, my energy, and my life.

• There is truly nothing scarier than waking up in 6 months in the exact. same. place as the exact. same. person.

• Dancing alone is really fun.

• Nobody is coming to rescue me or hold my hand to drag me out.

• Waking up not feeling like shit because I binge ate is really nice. Cutting my grocery bill in half is also really nice.

• I don’t miss the friends that I lost when I quit.

• Tapering off and slowing down never made it easier.

• The urges and cravings and withdrawals stuck around for a few weeks. That pain is almost enough on its own to make me never want to start again. It was worth it.

• Time is running out.

• Boredom and loneliness are part of the human experience and speak to an underlying need, and it’s never weed. I’d take boredom and loneliness over shame and guilt every day.

• Boredom is my best friend and an opportunity to get to know myself.

• I’m not an anxious lonely person, I’m a person who sometimes feels anxious and lonely.

• The way I speak to myself shapes my entire life.

• Missing, loving, and craving something does not mean I have to go back to it.

• I will never be able to heal or figure out who I am while I’m high.

• Change is not linear and I had to forgive myself to keep moving forward. Beating myself up never changed the past and it paralyzed my future.

• I didn’t believe that I could stop and part of me didn’t want to and that’s okay. I got to a point where it was my only option.

• Withdrawals don’t last, and they got easier when I started treating myself well (hydration, clean diet, clean space, movement)

• I had to get out of my own way. There was truly nothing stopping me other than myself.

I’m really proud of myself, but the best word I have to describe how I feel is free. Life is short and we are all allowed to be happy. No matter where you are on your journey, stick with it. It gets really, really good. Love to you all!

**Update: revisiting this post at one year weed-free today! I’m reflecting on how much my life has changed and crying happy tears that this post resonated with so many. I never thought a happy, fulfilling life was possible without weed, and I was so so wrong. I have a partner that I adore, I passed the CPA license exams, I moved into a new apartment, and I’ve gotten to travel and reinvest in hobbies I abandoned years ago (not spending money on weed really helps the bank account).

A few weeks ago, I took a hit with some family friends. It was a conscious decision because I wanted to see how much, if anything, had changed. It was fun…for ~10 minutes and then it wasn’t at all. I became so anxious, so paranoid, and I was immediately taken back to the place I was trapped in for almost a decade. I didn’t want to be there and I knew more than ever that night that I really was done. Most of all, I know what I’m capable of, I know what security feels like, and I knew that wasn’t it.

But, I’m glad I tried it that night. I have even more clarity now of how much my lifelong anxiety has improved over the last year and even more proof and motivation to leave weed behind. I truly had no idea how inhibiting weed was for me, even when I posted this 265 days ago. That night I hated myself - my words, my body, my presence among people who I love the most, everything. And I knew the whole time that it didn’t have to be like that.

I wanted to share this for perspective, and also because I’m still working to break my self-imposed cycle of guilt and shame and I don’t want to hide anymore. And truthfully, I did feel guilty. I did feel ashamed. But I learned something very valuable, and maybe that lesson can help someone else. I see a lot of posts from long-sober people asking if they should try it just one more time, and I have to admit reading those posts often puts me in the same mindset. So, as someone who did go ahead and try it, I didn’t think it was worth it. Take that with a grain of salt - but I don’t see a reality where 10 minutes of giggling was worth giving up everything I’ve gained without weed.

Also, the addiction piece is real. Even in the moment that night, feeling like shit and knowing I didn’t want to feel this way, I still subconsciously reached for that joint 3 more times before I finally stopped myself. Everyone is different, but a year of sobriety didn’t change that immediate addiction and need for me. It was scary to watch myself out of control like that.

I’m forever grateful to this community and everyone who has come together on this journey, and I’m rooting for everyone reading this who wants to join and hasn’t taken that step yet. With so much love, the only thing stopping you is yourself. You can take your life back and you owe it to yourself.

Love to you all <3

A lesson i have learned about smoking, is that you need to be bored in order to enjoy life. The issue for me, when smoking, is that my brain constantly wants the ”next dopamine hit”. When i am in my smoking periods, the only things i am doing is what i crave in that exact moment, such as; gaming, eating, smoking, jerking off, smoking more, etc etc. When you are constantly being ”satisfied” 24/7 for a long period of time, you WILL eventually hit the point where EVERYTHING ELSE that is not = instant dopamine hit, is boring and unpleasant for you. This includes not being able to enjoy moments with your family, social interactions, excercising, eating healthy, and many more essential aspects of life that makes one truly happy.

I see so many posts about the main issue for people is being bored when not smoking, which often results in going back to smoking. But what a stoner that overloads his/her brain 24/7 doesnt realize is that sober people are bored a lot, and being bored is what makes them excited about simple everyday interactions and activities that a smoker would hate. So in a way, boredom is literally a source to enjoying life, since when you are bored, you raise the level of happiness you receive from any normal day-to-day activitiy that a smoker who overloads their brain with the largest dopamine hit imaginable constantly would never be able to enjoy.

I’m 31 now. I started smoking at 25. It began as a “fun” thing, a reward after work. I had an online business, money was flowing, life felt good. But over time, weed became a daily habit and my life quietly slipped into autopilot.

At 27, I felt depression for the first time, but I kept smoking. I told myself it helped me chill. In reality, I was sedating myself, numbing discomfort, avoiding growth.

By 30, I hit rock bottom. Heartbreak. Financial ruin. Emotional collapse. That’s when I finally quit. Cold turkey. It’s been nearly 8 months now, and I feel alive again. Clear. Sharp. Awake. The fog is lifting, and it’s like I’ve been asleep for years.

Looking back, my late 20s were a blur. I barely remember anything. I was high, eating trash, watching cartoons, chasing dopamine. I isolated myself. I stopped being social. I made excuses like “weed calms me,” but it only calmed me when I was alone. Around people I had anxiety, paranoia, couldn’t drive, couldn’t even leave the house. I was a walking liability. I truly believed if I died young, it would be while I was high, probably from a dumb accident.

Weed robbed me of presence. Of memory. Of self-respect. And the worst part? I didn’t even realize it.

Now? No urges. No cravings. Motivation is back. I journal. I focus. I feel myself again. I chase success, not cheap dopamine.

If you’re reading this and you're a daily smoker, ask yourself: Are you growing? Or just existing?
Because let me be real, weed makes time move fast and life move slow. And that’s how you quietly waste years.

Use it once a month? Cool. A celebration, a trip, a moment. But most of us aren’t built for moderation. If you’re honest, you know it too.

Weed isn't evil. But dependence is.
And most of you reading this are already in it.

I lost years. But I’m done. And if you’re ready, you can quit too. The first few weeks are rough. But almost a year later? I’m sharper than I’ve been in a decade.

Quit while you’re still young enough to rebuild. Your future self will thank you.

Quit Any Bad Habit INSTANTLY Without Willpower

📷

Quitting bad habits is EASY, you've just been using the wrong method!

Normally people quit a habit using willpower, but willpower is a limited resource.

When we rely on willpower we encounter ego-depletion - We lose all motivation to keep fighting and give in to our raging craving.

For example:

When you first quit, you can do well for a few days...

Then you start to think "Maybe just this one time" or "I've been good, I can just do it a little".

And you give in.

But don't worry, THERE IS ANOTHER WAY:

Using this strange method, I have quit alcohol, sugar, binge eating, smoking, porn and procrastination.

As a result I have lost 70 pounds, found a girlfriend, quit all medication and I wake up with a smile on my face.

Here is the method:

1. Meet your Addiction Voice (AV)

You bad habit or addiction has it's own voice, the AV.

The AV wants you to give in to your cravings, and works by hijacking your inner monologue.

It will say things in your own voice like "Why don't you just smoke one more time, it won't do any harm!" or "You need to smoke, or you will get grumpy and damage your relationships."

The truth is:

Everything the AV says is a lie to get you to give in to your bad habit.

2) Learn to recognise your AV

Your AV can be brought to light by making The Law.

The Law is unbreakable, and doesn't require any willpower to follow.

Does it require willpower for you not to steal a car or rob a bank?

NO!

The Law cannot be broken at any point.

Write down your law if it helps, but the most important part is defining it.

E.g. "I will never smoke again".

But how can this help you recognise your AV?

Because any thought that pops in your head that contradicts the law is the AV, not you.

3) Create an AV Avatar

Assign an avatar to your AV.

For example, my smoking AV was an old, ugly man who chain smoked and had cancer.

Whenever I'd hear him say "Go on, just have a quick one, it can't hurt!" I'd say "Screw you old man" and give him the finger.

This also helps with cravings.

Cravings aren't really happening to you, they are happening to your AV avatar.

Your AV Avatar wants to give in, not you!

Without you giving in, they will disappear and die!

Your true self is already free of this addiction, so the cravings aren't happening to you, they are happening to your AV.

Extra tips:

• NEVER NEGOTIATE. If you keep playing with your AV and trying to argue, you will just end up giving in. AS SOON AS YOUR RECOGNISE YOUR AV, SHUT IT DOWN.

• Make your avatar ugly, not friendly. They are the scum of the earth. My binge avatar was a pig - not a cute little one, a fat smelly, warty one.

• Always remember, your AV cannot make you do anything. All it can do is speak to you, you don't have to do what it says!

• Your cravings and voice will disappear faster than you realise, but NEVER let your guard down.

Now go out there and kick your AV's ass and say goodbye to your bad habit!

"I understand there's a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, and watch cartoons and old movies. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy."

Figured its some advice we could all use, it's stuck with me ever since.

RIP

I quit carts and all THC almost two weeks ago, and the changes have been significant. I wanted to write them down as a reminder of why I don’t want to go back—and figured I’d share in case it helps anyone else.

list of positive changes

• waking up early naturally (can’t sleep in too late)

• less craving for sweets

• improved memory

• getting more done each day

• want to go outside and get out of the house

• no longer anxious in public

• conversations feel easier and more engaging

• able to think of new and interesting thoughts

• improved mood

• genuinely laughing again

• writing down and identifying goals for myself

• lifted my depression and no longer suicidal

• feeling hopeful and excited for my future

• more control over my life

• my brain isn’t shutting down all day

• seeing things more clearly, not clouded by misery

It was the end of the day. We had just put the kiddo to bed. Typically this is when we would head outside to light up, but I was 5 days into sobriety, so she was doing that alone. These early days have been tough because I know I could just go with her.

My plan was to turn on the baseball game and dive into some code for a side project. Went to turn on the game and it was blacked out. I became unreasonably angry at this. I felt helpless, like I couldn't even distract myself from my cravings.

When my wife came back inside, I was ranting angrily about it. None of this anger was directed at her but my aura was not fun at that moment.

I went down to feed our pets, angrily grumbling to them. Came back upstairs, and I saw my wife going back outside. At first I thought I fucked up and needed to go out and apologize for being overly mad about something as stupid as a baseball game.

I couldn't be more wrong. She came inside with what was left of our stash. Went straight to the bathroom and dumped it all in the toilet.

"We're doing this together" she said.

I hugged her and cried into her shoulder. I know this decision is hard and I didn't want to make her give up her vice just because I had chosen to. I was so overwhelmed with love at that moment. She prioritized me, and that meant so much.

Day 6 today for me. Day 1 for her. I feel so much stronger and confident with her at my side through this.